marky, let the reactions you’re seeing here be a reminder that almost every single person here and elsewhere is just shooting the shit for some sense of community and usually lonely themselves. not that it makes it better. but at the end of the day we are all rooting for you and im sorry if what we’ve said here has helped bring you to this point. it’s easy to get carried away. i know life is very hard even if we didn’t exist though so im not trying to make this about us, i just hope you are paying attention to the fact that even the dregs of society here don’t want you dead.