>>36498
i never feel real. i do all this shit on the internet just to feel real. but outside getting acknowledged makes me want to scream. i hate noises i hate light i hate people i hate outside. i feel like i can never be like them, like real. i see my memories in a third persons perspective my therapist commented it could be related to dissociating and stuff. i dont see a therapist much and i literally act like tony soprano during all sessions. if i didnt get meds i wouldnt go anyways. enough with the rambling...
i had an attempt when i was 15, because i got bullied being called lesbian (long story but i talked about it once or twice so im skipping it) by everyone in the whole school. i took all the pills i could find, my mom found me puking all over my bed and took me to the er. they scared me with how i could damage my brain. my brain is the only thing i value and its why i am a pussy about kms. what if im alive but im not me? i dont know who i am, i hate myself, but still i dont think i could exist as another. my ideas, self, ego, and my owness all think different and send me to a downward spiral. so im just not giving a fuck now
>>36501
like i said, pussy moment. im not going to actually do it. id love to die how jane from brba died. but with more h
>>36504
ame reference

id try to do my hair like ame and shit but im supposed to be studying because i took pills...

also did the thread on 9k with pictures i posted here get deleted or sth?