01/15/2021 (Fri) 12:03:56
I reckon part of the problem is that I always have this harsh nagging feeling that I'm not doing enough, I'm not productive enough, I'm not achieving enough, etc. I can never just relax guilt free.
Maybe its because my dad was a hardass who was always kicking goals and 'hustling' but I find no joy in just sitting soberly on the couch watching netflix or something, I can only be satisfied with improving my situation somehow, which is hard when you're a mong, so I escape that anxious drive with ye ol oat. >>296489
Yes, in recent months I've started reacting to the culture around drink and drugs with disgust, as ironic as that might sound. It's pretty hardcore and ballsy to deny all these easily available crutches I think. I still wonder what disadvantage it might give me in dating, friendships, professional networking etc. but I think it might be worth it. At least for a time, definitely. >>296490
Is choof really 'getting on drugs' though, the piss is a lot more concerning.