Recently found out my 13yo sister has been sleeping around for a while now. With tattooed brown men of course. I won't hate her for it because the state of society, and of Argentina and this town in particular, is not her fault. She's a product of her environment, she never really stood a chance, I just deluded myself into believing she had enough of a soul that she could push through it. Obviously I don't feel the same way about her that I used to. Both her and my mom are still alive and yet it feels like I'm mourning them. I feel more pity for myself than I do for her; it honestly feels like every bet I made, every decision I took in the last several years has backfired. I have no friends, no job, no partner, no hope for the future, no family left beyond my dad and he's pretty sick himself. Things have really gone about as wrong as they could have. Not trying to throw a pity party or anything I'm just thinking out loud. It's hard to believe life can get this dark. Then again I guess it wasn't much better when I was stuck alone with my mom during her alcoholic abusive phase, this is just fresher. I'll get through it, it's just hard to believe. This sort of nightmarish situation I think is the closest thing to cosmic horror that actually happens in the real world