Sunflower 12/06/2021 (Mon) 19:38:54 Id: 606f65 No.290 del
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>>289
I do want to make the leap, but too much reading and thinking gets in the way. It was so much easier and so much more fruitfull when I just took the spell and believed it and went along with it. When nothing came in the way. But eventually other dogmas and systems get in the way and you start comparing and doubting, and this is where it all can go downhill. At least I can say that I am done reading other peoples stuff, I see where it all leads, I can reject it and come home again. Maybe I can accept it all now and by doing so I will finally develop accordingly. Maybe I can finally accept my immortality and thereby make it real.
>I'm not making it up when I'm saying it's been 25 years since my first attempt at anything like this.
Well for me it's basically since the first vampire thread. I didn't have much going for me before that apart from being a degenerate mundane and lurking fringe a little bit.
I had a few dreams before where I was in some sort of vampire-like castle which was abandoned but at the same time it was a school for occiltists. No idea how it could be both at the same time but it was possible in the dreams. It was like a dungeon. Yesterday while watching a video lying in my bed I suddenly had a strong feeling out of nowhere that reminded me of those dreams and places, because it felt exactly the same. When I then looked up I believed I saw a shadow of a person standing before me. But it was gone immediately and there was nothing after. I doubt anything in the video triggered this feeling, but if someone wanted to visit me and give me a sign, why not stay and show yourself and talk normally? Maybe it was nothing but those dreams and that experience were all kinda strange.