>>5192 Remember when I was talking about the illusory nature of self and how you have a bunch of subconscious tulpas within you representing or remembering every person/archetype you met in a way or in an another?
To expand on that concept there is a thing about "role models". Our soul or spirit sorta remembers all of our past lives and there are "themes" and personality traits that always come out but only in similarly stimulating situations. And if there are no situations that "bring out our best" then something else will mimick it but it will be so shit it does not kickstart our soulgrowth.
So what I am trying to say here is that you had not enough positive role models (Especially males) within your life and because of that you were unable to "resonate" some parts of your being.
Had to realize many times on the path that some situations are not actually the reason why my growth is happening but it caused a sort of "resonance" that made me remember something that I experienced so long ago and that was the "real thing" that made me go forward. This is why "getting out of the comfort zone" is sometimes critical on the path but some of us don't have a "comfort zone" so we have to realize that then move to the places where we "belong" or where "we are made". Thanks to spirituality you can bridge worlds and events so wasting money and walking in the wilderness is not necessary but sometimes it is.
Nowadays you are rarely starving or get chased by wild animals in the forests or have to learn to fight with a sword to be even considered as a "man" while back then there is no way someone would harass you by spamming furry porn on your discord server so there is no connection point but as weird things can get in spirituality some image or song might awaken something within you without you realizing. There is a reason why we are attracted towards some themes in media. Karma can get interesting and doesn't always need to be a bitch.
Also something I wanted to mention. Your "free will level" is increasing so your sisters will harass you far less because you are less of a dumbfuck and they have a level of respect towards you because you are "returning". So you will have to ask them and connect to them on your own and get a hang of asking for guidance when it is needed. I am not saying you cannot ask or post on this board but understand how your sisters are "always with you" and sometimes you are the one that needs to start initiating the conversation. Even if you are alone you are not alone and even if you are with other people you are still with your sisters and they understand you well but there are things they still don't understand about the "current you".
