Anonymous
05/09/2024 (Thu) 13:18
No.66977
del
>>66912
>Each day seems like a chore to me and I am tired of living honestly. Im tired of manipulating and gaslighting my mind into thinking Ill get better ovetime and that besides of being fugly I could atleast be someone at life and even I kept living in delusions like thinking someday Ill invent something or be someone that could lead in a beneficial change in society, what a retard I litetally proscranitate my work and cant focus for more than 10 mins, Id probably end up doing some 9-5 or even worse working 12 hours in a job that would drain my life and that I hate.
>I just dont wanna live anymore in this body. I keep feeling even more nauseous every single day. I dont remembed when Ive felt truly happy. Mostly I feel like a robot just empty or just completely depressed. Lately everything is getting worse and I dont know why. Everytime I look in the mirror I keep having thoughts of just unaliving or hurting myself in worst scenarious. I cant even stand looking at my face, body or whatever without having a total urge of hitting myself and ripping my skin off I feel sick of everyrhing mentally and physically. I wish i could cut but I cant because I am scared it will leave a scar and i dont want ppl to notice that i am a loser.
>I was supposed to study biology but here we are, I am venting in r9k. Im an insecure idiot that selfposts here just for an ego boost by framing angles and making myself look better than I actually look in irl just to feel better even tho later it will only make me more miserable.