Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails | Zero Hedge
Description: "They’re much more of a ‘Do-It-for-Me’ type of customer than a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ customer..."
Keywords: Zero Hedge,Zerohedge,Finance,Economics,Markets,Politics,Analysis,Deutsche Bank,Wall Street Journal
Date: 2017-10-10T00:00:00Z

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Overpopulation isn't the problem. The boring, unimaginative little monsters that rule over us are. And their disdain for the average person is crystal clear.

# Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails

by Tyler Durden
Oct 10, 2017 12:00 PM
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As wall street analysts celebrate the coming of age of the millennial generation, a group of young people who were supposed to lead another revolutionary wave of consumerism if only they could work long enough to escape their parents' basement, retailers like Home Depot are panicked about selling into what will soon be America's largest demographic...but not for the reasons you might think.

While avocado resellers like Whole Foods only have to worry about creating a catchy advertising campaign to attract millennials, Home Depot is in full-on panic mode after realizing that an entire generation of Americans have absolutely no clue how to use their products. As the Wall Street Journal points out, the company has been forced to spend millions to create video tutorials and host in-store classes on how to do everything from using a tape measure to mopping a floor and hammering a nail.

Home Depot's VP of marketing admits she was originally hesitant because she thought some of their videos might be a bit too "condescending" but she quickly learned they were very necessary for our pampered millennials.

> In June the company introduced a series of online workshops, including videos on how to use a tape measure and how to hide cords, that were so basic some executives worried they were condescending. “You have to start somewhere,” Mr. Decker says.

> Lisa DeStefano, Home Depot vice president of marketing, initially hesitated looking over the list of proposed video lessons, chosen based on high-frequency online search queries. “Were we selling people short? Were these just too obvious?” she says she asked her team. On the tape-measure tutorial, “I said ‘come on, how many things can you say about it?’ ” Ms. DeStefano says.

And just in case you think we're joking and/or exaggerating, here is Home Depot's tape measure tutorial in all its glory:

Meanwhile, Scotts Miracle-Gro has been forced to start training classes to remind frustrated millennials, who can't seem to keep their flowers alive, that plants need sunlight to grow (apparently not a single millennial ever took biology in grade school). Commenting on the tutorials, a defeated VP of Corporate Affairs, Jim King, admitted "these are simple things we wouldn’t have really thought to do or needed to do 15 to 20 years ago"...sorry, Mr. King this is your life now.

> The Scotts Miracle-Gro Co. has started offering gardening lessons for young homeowners that cover basic tips—really, really basic—like making sure sunlight can reach plants.

> “These are simple things we wouldn’t have really thought to do or needed to do 15 to 20 years ago,” says Jim King, senior vice president of corporate affairs for Scotts. “But this is a group who may not have grown up putting their hands in the dirt growing their vegetable garden in mom and dad’s backyard.”

> “They grew up playing soccer, having dance recitals and playing an Xbox,” says Scott’s Mr. King. “They probably didn’t spend as much time helping mom and dad out in the yard as their predecessors or their predecessors’ predecessors.”

> Companies such as Scotts, Home Depot Inc., Procter & Gamble Co. , Williams-Sonoma Inc.’s West Elm and the Sherwin-Williams Co. are hosting classes and online tutorials to teach such basic skills as how to mow the lawn, use a tape measure, mop a floor, hammer a nail and pick a paint color.

Unfortunately, at least for the Home Depots of the world, millennials now represent the largest demographic in America with 4.75 million 26 year olds roaming the streets of New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles without a clue as to how to use a tape measure.

> The biggest single age cohort today in the U.S. is 26-year-olds, who number 4.8 million, according to Torsten Slok, chief international economist for Deutsche Bank . People 25, 27 and 24 follow close behind, in that order. Many are on the verge of life-defining moments such as choosing a career, buying a house and having children.

> Millennials as a whole are America’s latest demographic bubble, overtaking the baby boom generation and, like them, transforming popular culture, retailing, media and lifestyles. They make up about 42% of all home buyers today, and 71% of all first-time home buyers, according to Zillow Group . Some 86% of millennial home buyers reported making at least one improvement to their home in the past year, more than any other generation, Zillow says.

While we have our doubts that it will save their business, retailers like J.C. Penney and West Elm are trying to adapt to the millennial generation by offering basic in-home services like installing televisions or hanging wall art.

> J.C. Penney Co. says the group is willing to hire others for projects. The retailer has pushed into home services, including furnace and air-conditioning repair, water-treatment systems and bathroom renovations, and expanded its window-covering installation.

> “They’re much more of a ‘Do-It-for-Me’ type of customer than a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ customer,” says Joe McFarland, executive vice president of J.C. Penney stores. “You don’t need a ladder or a power drill, you don’t even have to wonder if you measured your window right.”

> Home-furnishings retailer West Elm offers service packages, which start at $129, to provide plumbing and electrical work, painting, installing a television and hanging wall art and mirrors.

All that said, at least some millennials are trying to be more self-sufficient...as an example, the WSJ notes the case of 26-year-old Breanne Loes who recently borrowed her dad's power tools to craft a wooden headboard...which went really well AFTER she realized the saw blade was on backwards.

> Ms. Loes enjoys do-it-yourself projects, and two summers ago built with her now-husband a wooden headboard in her parents’ garage, with help from an online tutorial, her dad, two older brothers and their tools.

> The saw wasn’t working at first because the blade was backward. “That was embarrassing,” says Ms. Loes.

Congrats, Breanne, really great job...really.

- Wall Street Journal
- Deutsche Bank

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Mr Pink Oct 10, 2017 11:13 AM

How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Mtnrunnr Mr Pink Oct 10, 2017 11:16 AM

Lol are you kidding me? I have to do everything for my parents. My generation wasn't taught to do anything because our parents were too busy oursourcing every task they could imagine and do nothing themselves. I promise you, my generation will be much more handy than you old fucks because we will have to be.

hedgeless_horseman Mtnrunnr Oct 10, 2017 11:21 AM

Parents should be teaching their kids these things, not corporate America.

> I have heard rumors of procrastination, argument, negotiation, foul language, mistakes, and threats. I have seen actual evidence of failure, determination, improvement, success, productivity, craftsmanship, pride, and increased self-esteem. The work I have inspected looks great, and the boys are now clearly enjoying the project. Yesterday, I was thanked for giving them the opportunity to learn how to weld.

> http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-07-07/some-do-it-yourself-ideas-you-o...

HockeyFool hedgeless_horseman Oct 10, 2017 11:24 AM

It was easier to sit them in front of the TV and give them a video game to play all day.

covfefe MICdotard HockeyFool Oct 10, 2017 11:26 AM

No need for 'tape measures' anymore because the SJW's have chopped the dicks off of all the males.

NoDecaf covfefe MICdotard Oct 10, 2017 11:31 AM

The best choice is to have children now instead of a career or buying a house, at least they will only have to wait 18 years to get someone to help them.

Gaius Frakkin' ... NoDecaf Oct 10, 2017 11:32 AM

As I've said many times before, they didn't spring from the ground like orks.

They were bred and educated by previous generations. The problem is both culturally and genetically systemic.

A Home Depot tutorial isn't going to fix this.

macholatte Gaius Frakkin' Baltar Oct 10, 2017 11:32 AM

I took shop class in eighth grade. That’s where I learned about different kinds of tools like a lathe, drill press, plane and how to weld and different kinds of wood, fillers, stain, etc. I loved that class. I don’t know if it’s taught in public school anymore.

YUNOSELL macholatte Oct 10, 2017 11:35 AM

A better question is how many millenials does it take to afford to pay someone to screw in a light bulb

Seahorse YUNOSELL Oct 10, 2017 11:44 AM

Better still, how many millennials does it take to vote for your money to pay someone to screw in their light bulb.

Manthong Seahorse Oct 10, 2017 11:56 AM

I suppose a TIG welding course is not in the curriculum, yes?

..or even advanced tube cutting and copper pipe sweating?

macholatte Manthong Oct 10, 2017 12:17 PM

I still can't solder worth a damn. Never got the hang of it.

Citxmech macholatte Oct 10, 2017 12:28 PM

The good news is that I will be able to scoop-up some really nice tools on Craigslist...

JimmyJones Citxmech Oct 10, 2017 12:59 PM

This is the result of a plan, dumb our buts down so we are helpless. http://www.deliberatedumbingdown.com/

Look at what schools teach and then ask yourself when is that information applicable to everyday life? Is shop taught anymore? Is basic machining taught anymore? Basic electronics? Home economics? But don't worry we will teach you about being a transgender....

Theosebes Goodfellow JimmyJones Oct 10, 2017 1:55 PM

~"This is the result of a plan, dumb our buts(sic) down so we are helpless."~

No it is not. This has come about by an abdication of our responsibility to parent and by allowing our children to be "educated", (or the lack there of), by unionized government employees. (Never leave to collectivists things that are important to you.) We have raised a "village full of village idiots" who are incapable of finding 9/32ths on a tape measure. By the same measure, (sorry, I couldn't resist), even fewer of them know that this works out to 0.28125 of an inch nor that it is a little over 7 millimeters.

Screw it, most can't even make change on a dollar.Ever seen the deer in the headlights look of a milleneal having to try to make change whilst working a cash register when you give them some pennies to round out your bill? Total and complete mental lockup.

Ah-bih-dee, ah-bih-dee, that's all folks!

armageddon addahere macholatte Oct 10, 2017 1:17 PM

The trick is to get the right amount of heat. If you get the temperature right the solder will run into the joint like magic. And everything must be clean, no corrosion grease or dirt. A little flux helps. Be meticulous about cleaning and fitting the parts tight together, a smear of flux, get it good and hot and the job is easy.

Liquid Courage macholatte Oct 10, 2017 1:55 PM

Bet I know why. Most common rookie mistake is to melt the solder onto the soldering iron. WRONG! You need to heat BOTH of the work surfaces evenly with the tip of the iron and melt the solder onto the work pieces. If the work is not hot enough to melt the solder, it'll just roll off like water off a duck's back and bead up on the floor. Sound familiar?

Akzed macholatte Oct 10, 2017 1:57 PM

Hold the flame where you want it to travel, e.g., sweating a pipe into an elbow? Heat the elbow, not the pipe.

tmosley Seahorse Oct 10, 2017 11:49 AM

A friend of mine lost his wife recently. He revealed to me that he has been living off of canned soup and chili. Has ZERO idea of how to cook. I tried to tell him it was easy, even pointed him to some youtube channels with instructions on how to do it from the very most basic level (ie how to boil water). He still hasn't, and I don't think he ever will. He seems to even be afraid to try to cook a microwave dinner.

He's 76.

Millenials aren't the only people dreadfully short on basic skills.

Donate Moar tmosley Oct 10, 2017 12:07 PM

Your friend does not want to cook, because without his wife, he does not want to live.

I've seen it plenty of times. Sometimes retirement shocks people like this and sometimes loss of a loved one.

tmosley Donate Moar Oct 10, 2017 12:10 PM

Nope. He eats out too. Goes to the coffee shop twice a day as well.

That said, he probably isn't long for this world. Asked him who he was banking with yesterday and it took him several minutes to remember.

hound dog vigilante tmosley Oct 10, 2017 1:03 PM

This country is PACKED with older men who have NOTHING TO DO. Retirement, early retirement, discouraged, underemployed, unemployed... these guys are everywhere.

Bored older men will eventually find something to keep themselves busy... like elect DT.

Employ older men of suffer the consequences!

FireBrander Donate Moar Oct 10, 2017 1:07 PM

Walk through a graveyard sometime and note the dates of death...time and again, one spouse dies and the other joins them in the grave within 5 years...fortunately for me (i hope), the wifes side of the family routinely pushes 100 before they "expire".

kbohip Donate Moar Oct 10, 2017 1:45 PM

My mom is the same way. She's always done all the cooking but after my dad died she says she never feels like cooking anymore.

IronForge kbohip Oct 10, 2017 2:00 PM

Time to bring her in to live with you.

Bud Dry YUNOSELL Oct 10, 2017 12:22 PM

DAAAAAD! THE LIGHT IS OUT! CAN YOU REPLACE IT!?

MOOOOOM! I'M OUT OF TENDIES!!!

Lt. Frank Drebin Bud Dry Oct 10, 2017 1:11 PM

REEEEEEEEEEE!!! TENDIES!!!!!

canisdirus YUNOSELL Oct 10, 2017 12:46 PM

Seriously. If millennials need to hire people to do things for them, how could they possibly afford it?

If this was actually as rampant as claimed, I could probably make more as a handyman than in an office job, but I don't know a single person that has made that switch.

paperstreetsoapco YUNOSELL Oct 10, 2017 2:05 PM

A better question is which millennial will create an app to bring providers of basic tool use to the consumers of basic tool use.

I used to work in a gun shop. You wouldn't believe how many officers would bring their sidearms in to be cleaned because they did not even know how to field strip their Tupperware pistols....

If that doesn't scare you, millenials running the government should....

Bastiat macholatte Oct 10, 2017 11:41 AM

I predict there will be many millenials with less than 10 fingers. Power tools are unforgiving.

Agent P Bastiat Oct 10, 2017 11:54 AM

"Good morning class. My name is Mr. Johnson, and I've been teaching this shop class for four years" (holds up both hands with fingers extended)

Manthong Agent P Oct 10, 2017 12:04 PM

Like the warning sign for technicians on the laser show projector…

“DANGER – LASER RADIATION – Avoid eye exposure with remaining good eye.”

sodbuster Bastiat Oct 10, 2017 12:57 PM

Dang Bastiat! I actually LOL!!! Best comment today!! I love the first time house flippers on TV. Best comment from a first time flipper? It looked so easy when I watched it on TV!!!!!!!!!

Joebloinvestor macholatte Oct 10, 2017 11:42 AM

The collapse of the education system started when they eliminated shop classes.

canisdirus Joebloinvestor Oct 10, 2017 12:52 PM

What about Home Economics? Do you know how rare it is to meet a 20-something that can cook, clean, make a budget, and stick to it? Trust me, they're exceptionally rare.

FireBrander macholatte Oct 10, 2017 11:45 AM

"I took shop class in eighth grade...I don’t know if it’s taught in public school anymore."

It is offered, but not mandatory as it was in the 80's when "women" were FORCED (in the name of womens lib?) to take traditional male classes.

In my HS, everyone had to take at least one "shop" class; girls mostly picked auto shop so they could "ask" the boys to give them free oil changes and tunes ups...and fix any other car problems they may be having.

Killtruck FireBrander Oct 10, 2017 11:51 AM

There's like five or six jokes sitting right there.

youngman Killtruck Oct 10, 2017 12:09 PM

and I remember having to take a Home Ech Class..cooking..sewing...I made a gun case...lol

El Vaquero FireBrander Oct 10, 2017 12:26 PM

I had to take shop in both 6th and 7th grades. And I knew how to use most of the tools prior to taking the classes. The same millennial kids who are pushing the SJW shit are the antithesis of DIY. I had already changed a clutch out when I was younger than most of them now, and most of them probably cannot drive a standard. Three on the tree would really blow their fucking minds.

BeansMcGreens FireBrander Oct 10, 2017 12:46 PM

My auto shop's teacher had over his desk the old auto front tag 'Ass, Grass, Or Cash no one rides for free'. Of course this was about a1969.

hllnwlz macholatte Oct 10, 2017 12:15 PM

The answer is no. Every kid now is shuffled into the a through G track which means they're being prepared for a life of debt service to the banks in exchange for a questionable college education. Some of my smartest students are going straight into the trades because they recognized the college at this point as a total scam.

City_Of_Champyinz macholatte Oct 10, 2017 12:55 PM

I took Shop throughout my middle/high school years. I absolutely love woodworking, and was able to make several pieces of furniture that my folks still have in the living room. I don't think my alma mater bothers with it anymore...

rpboxster macholatte Oct 10, 2017 1:00 PM

Wood shop, metal shop in middle school, and basic machining in engineering school were my all time fav classes. Those and typing were probably the most practical.

hawaiian waverider macholatte Oct 10, 2017 2:08 PM

In Jr high then high school I took: metal working, wood working, foundry, screen printing, made business cards, sewing, home economics, photography etc. My dad taught me to weld before I was a teen, I used a chain saw and sold cord wood at 13.

Sorry millenials, you are frankly pathetic. Yeah, you can blame your parents or society as you have that skill down but, there has never been an easier time to learn something new than today. Get off your pathetic asses and stop being worthless.

safe as milk Gaius Frakkin' Baltar Oct 10, 2017 12:09 PM

exactly. it's not their fault that they were raised in this culture. it's encouraged all the time. take self driving cars, the latest fad. i was concerned that none of the 30 somethings in my family have a clue how to diagnose a car problem. they call aaa to fix a flat! they can't wait to get self driving cars. what's it going to be like when there is a hurricane, etc and no one even knows how to drive?

Never One Roach safe as milk Oct 10, 2017 2:00 PM

Maff and frax shuns make my head hurt.

nope-1004 covfefe MICdotard Oct 10, 2017 11:34 AM

My take on this phenomenon is the availability of credit. I know in my own family of younger people that they don't give a shit about DIY... they'd rather just put down the credit card and pay for someone else to do it.

Easy money and cheap credit have massive social implications. It dumbs down the economy to a level where initiative and entrepreneurial spirit die, because cheap credit removes the time component to labor. Businesses and people can buy things, screw it up royally, and carry the debt ramifications no problem. It makes everyone and the system dumb.

All bankers should hang.

Eyes Opened nope-1004 Oct 10, 2017 11:49 AM

Think that clueless millenials are a problem for HomeDepot ??

Read this thread & see just how bad things are in the construction industry.....

http://www.contractortalk.com/f11/how-soon-until-employee-well-run-compl...

Byte Me nope-1004 Oct 10, 2017 12:08 PM

> All bankers should hang.

Just this^^ will suffice.

skbull44 covfefe MICdotard Oct 10, 2017 11:34 AM

This is no surprise to me since during my 25 years in education I witnessed a constant deterioration of the curriculum from hands-on skills/knowledge (e.g. home economics and shop) towards special interest group subjects (e.g. music, drama, visual arts) and ‘21st century’ subjects (e.g. mathematics, science, and technology). You reap what you sow.

https://olduvai.ca

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