>>15528
First off, even if I disagree, I wanna say I appreciate the effort in this post. Concice but thorough points without trying to make excuses.
>The abuser has been so good for so long, so one outburst
I see what you mean, but at some point the person has to realize that it's not just one incident, and that this person is notorious for crossing the line multiple times.
>Most abusive relationships involve some form of financial dependency
Correct, but my counter point is that the red flags should have been spotted far before getting to that point.The person has months if not years with them, at least.
I've also heard the phrase "men change after having kids", regarding single moms. What are your thoughts on that?
>Mothers who are abused stay because they feel like their child needs a father and she doesn’t want to deprive the child of having both its parents
Correct again, and I've heard this point before, but it seems like these people are obsessed with having a father, any father, instead of picking a good quality man to be the father. But you're right that it's not rational.
> A primary feature of almost every single abusive relationship is the abuser trying to convince the victim that it is actually them that’s the abusive one.
Again I'd hope the person has enough self awareness to objectively gauge whether they really are abusive or not.
>Nowhere in this post have I treated women as stupid or incapable of reason
I appreciate that. I hate when people remove agency from women just to defend them. They don't even realize that this mentality actually harms women.
>It’s not a rational mindset
I guess that's my main gripe with the situation. It baffles me because it's such a shitty situation that could be easily avoided if the victim is the tiniest bit rational. I don't want to attack anyone and I do have empathy, but at some point I can only go "Come on, what the fuck are you doing?", you know? Extremely basic and obvious stuff like teen ken not dating a man in his mid 20s.
I personally would like to encourage people to be more self aware and rational, so they aren't victims of bad situations.
>The red flags you’re talking about don’t pop up until it’s too late