>>35720
Hopefully my writing as I'm falling asleep doesn't suffer:
It's agonizing knowing that she might had suffered anguish due to immaturity.
It's enraging acknowledging my past self was dishonest with emotions.
It's hurtful conceiving I might have made her feel horrible and unattractive each time I dismissed her tender sensibilities, or insulted her honest attempts with my emotional denial.
It's aching the regret of having been born too distant in time and place, and acted in a manner that worsened the distance. Perhaps I unconsciously thought she would always remain a constant in my life.
It's painful the jealousy she grew up by other men, while I still reject any woman that gets too close. In my defense, like half of the girls are not mother material.
I deserve this solitude for being too picky with women. I deserve every negative sentiment this thread related person incites because it's a bit of poetic justice. Back when she sought me, I neglected her; now that I want to seek her, I'm a thorn nearly forgotten to her.

These hypnagogic thoughts are the reason I can address your post without PTSD:
We used to cut ties all the times, lol. One time I posted on her FB post "I don't believe in feminism, not because it's wrong but because a world with feminism is not worth living in :^3" (almost a direct quote).

Naturally, she blocked me right after unblocking me :^3