She's dead. If you're not over 30 already then someday you will be. You'll wonder what you've been doing with your life. You occupy your thoughts with this girl because you lack the perspective with which take care of yourself in the long-term.

Metaphorically speaking, the siren beckons the sailor and though he might understand that he's food he still allows it to happen.

If your life's ever worth anything to somebody who sincerely wants the best for you (even if only hypothetically) then have a think about what their opinion of this board should be.

Do something else.