/ashIeyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones. My boyfriend is the Endchan owner. Also this board has a capital i

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RULES Anonymous 08/29/2022 (Mon) 16:28 [Preview] No. 1 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Hello. You have just stumbled upon the world's funniest female comedienne's fan page, Ashley Jones.

Who is Ashley Jones? She is a globally recognized, world renowned, no longer underage, technology enthusiast, free software advocate, and female comedienne. She made her debut in 2014 at only 15 years old.

Visit my website for written and video content: https://icum.to

1. Do NOT talk positively about trannies or gays.
Tranny sympathizers WILL be banned
Edited last time by xmr on 09/24/2022 (Sat) 01:57.

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HO HO HO Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 19:17 [Preview] No. 3460 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Enjoy the custom .css, I tried my best to make it usable while still having character for the season. If any of you don't like it, you're a baby bitch.

I made a GTK3 theme for Linux. Please, for the love of god, somebody humor me and install the theme. The theme has:
Blue Christmas GTK3 theme
Red folder icons
3 Christmas cursors
Blue Christmas terminal appearance
Animated Christmas tree click-and-drag desktop widget
Look and install the theme: https://icum.to/making-gtk-theme-linux/

I managed to make a click-and-drag Christmas tree desktop widget. Bring a little Christmas cheer to your desktop if you use Linux. Hope things work as intended. Feedback is welcome.

My homepage is also Christmas themed. Again, only baby bitches don't like festive .css and html, which adds soul and life to the internet. You aren't a lil baby bitch, are you?
6 posts and 1 image omitted.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 19:17 [Preview] No.3505 del
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Ah I was just being lazy. Thank you, file size corrections officer. You are making me a less lazy contributor.

I know these are very vanilla. I'll do some with more Ashely related flare next time.

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 03:47 [Preview] No.3512 del
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Your whalecum :)
I really like that sweater one.

I was going to suggest https://ezgif.com/ if you needed somewhere to optimize GIFs

You can also convert videos to gifs like pic related

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 06:24 [Preview] No.3516 del
She really knows how to squiggle. I'm going to beat off to that.

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 11:58 [Preview] No.3518 del
It would be funny if this somehow made its way into one of those gif repositories normies use when they're texting

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TikTok Tranny | Movie Trailer (2022) Anonymous 11/24/2022 (Thu) 07:17 [Preview] No. 3209 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Ashley made an entire movie.

A formerly internet famous tomboy realizes her days of internet fame are long gone. No longer receiving the online attention she craves, she turns to drastic measures to reclaim her stardom. Even if that means becoming a "female to male to female" transgender to get TikTok famous. Follow her journey to deceive hundreds of thousands of internet users in her quest for online attention, with the raunchiest, most offensive, and tone deaf documentary of recent times.

December 3rd, 2022. Premieres livestreamed free on Endchan's Cytube channel: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner
Times: 4pm EST | 3pm CST | 2pm MST | 1pm PST
198 posts and 67 images omitted.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 09:50 [Preview] No.3501 del
100% agree with you about gold and silver being overvalued in a SHTF scenario. People will want to trade for food, medical supplies, weapons, cigarettes as you mentioned, alcohol, lighters, matches, stuff like that. shit that's actually useful.

what do you recommend having in a bug out bag? I bet you have tips for stuff civvies wouldn't think about and I'd like to hear.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 16:50 [Preview] No.3502 del

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 01:58 [Preview] No.3509 del
One man tent that is compact enough when folded to strap to backpack
Sleeping bag
Short handled axe and fixed blade knife or K Bar
Sox, wet wipes, gloves, duct tape
Fire starter kit
Combination hand held radio - flashlight equipped with hand crank to charge battery
First aid kit, nail clipper
Smokes, weed etc for barter
A few canteens filled with water, water purification tablets and a filter to filter muddy water
Weapon with ammo for self protection
A picture of The Ash to keep us cozy at night

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 03:27 [Preview] No.3510 del
I ate the MREs and all my storable food

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 04:06 [Preview] No.3515 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=TLfmEZYdtry [Embed]

/pw/ - Professional Wrestling Anonymous 11/03/2022 (Thu) 10:45 [Preview] No. 2306 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
On this day, the Day of the Dead, we pay tribute to all those who have died for his daughter's hand and honor the man, the myth and son of the Legend, Rey Mysterio! May Mary once again feel this scorpio's sting.

Press F to pay respects.
113 posts and 38 images omitted.

Anonymous 11/13/2022 (Sun) 12:08 [Preview] No.2740 del
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Yeah, home cooked meals are the best but the occasional fast food is fine
Im guessing you will be opting for a closed casket funeral?

Anonymous 11/15/2022 (Tue) 01:24 [Preview] No.2774 del
It's not a problem. I still don't understand what you mean by gatekeeper attitude. I have no direct control here. Wasn't sure if you were one of the shitheads who retaliate against my posts because they believe I'm the anon messing with them. They don't realize there are other anon that actually just don't like them and they may have just recently made asses of themselves. I was defensive because I wanted to see where this conversation would be going. I don't appreciate when young people talk negatively of the elderly because we're all going to be old some day and I saw first hand how people in my own family treated my grandfather when all he could do was open his wallet for them. I once had to run off a black teenager that would come over and extort money out of him. It had been going on for months and I just happened to be there one day.
I can. The reason I got out today was because it was cold and it's hard for me to focus on anything while working on my pc while it's cold. I don't have heat at my house. I used to be like that. I used to have really bad anxiety and would only go out at night. People tend to be drawn to me now so it's hard to avoid them. I don't like meaningless conversation either. I hate when people are already aware of something and ask you anyway just to strike up a conversation with you. When I go to the grocery store, I get followed by employees and loss prevention a lot. It's funny because loss prevention will actually try and stop me sometimes and you can hear the hesitation in their voice when they confront me. I always have fun with it. People tend to assume I'm a bad person but what they really see is the reflection of their own insecurities they hold within themselves.

Anonymous 11/15/2022 (Tue) 04:13 [Preview] No.2788 del
rocco botte (look it up)

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 03:44 [Preview] No.3511 del
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Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 04:02 [Preview] No.3514 del
should have used your finishing move "The Batista Bum" on him GOSH U GAY RETARD

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Alright Ashley, enough's enough! You've had your fun but I have to get to work tomorrow. So where'd you hide my penis.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 17:06 [Preview] No.3504 del
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She hid it in my asshole. Come and get it sweetie!

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 19:32 [Preview] No.3506 del
We talkin boy penis?

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 23:43 [Preview] No.3508 del
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hey taz, want to join my secret club? we're going to take over the world and stuff

Anonymous 12/02/2022 (Fri) 03:57 [Preview] No.3513 del
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Have you looked under the couch?
If she has it youre likely never getting it back btw...

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THANKSGIVING THREAD Anonymous 11/23/2022 (Wed) 17:13 [Preview] No. 3180 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Howdy, Pilgrims!

It's that time of year again. The comfiest of comfy holidays. Let us break bread, forgive each other for our transgressions, and be thankful for what we have.

What are your plans for turkey day? What are you cooking/eating? What are you thankful for this year?

I will start with the obvious: I'm thankful that Ashy came back.
37 posts and 14 images omitted.

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 21:32 [Preview] No.3482 del
Also why not just get handles instead of 750s? You'd save money

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 02:59 [Preview] No.3495 del
This is like 3 weeks? worth, its hard to remember... well anything at all with all the drinking
Im constantly dehydrated so I rarely need to piss anyway

Nah this way is cheaper, atleast where I live. its like an extra half the price for only 250 more.
Even with all the alchohol destroying my brain cells, Ive done the math, its cheaper this way

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 03:29 [Preview] No.3496 del
Cost be damned. If you're clearing a micky in 1 sesh then it's best not to get handles. You could kill yourself. We're probably at about the same fighting weight. Typically I clear a 750 of whiskey and a six pack if I'm staying up late on the weekend.
I'm glad you volunteered this info. It reaffirms my hypothesis that dropping the mstab8 cards at liquor stores and beer distributors is probably the best strat. Ashley's core demo is neurotics, alcoholics, and broken people that are all sardonically mad at the world.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 17:02 [Preview] No.3503 del
Why do you drink? I'm not judging, just curious.I don't relate to the "masking problems" mindset, would rather change my surroundings or work on myself than rely on substances. Are you concerned about the long term effects of alcohol?

>dropping the mstab8 cards at liquor stores and beer distributors is probably the best strat.
I have a suspicion that getting raging alcoholics with a truck load of problems oozing over an internet girl isn't the best idea. You aren't wrong though, the demographic here is virgins and alcoholics, we need a few more semi-sane people here.

Anonymous 12/01/2022 (Thu) 22:14 [Preview] No.3507 del
You're right and also it occurred to me that a lot of the drunks probably won't happen to find the card hidden in the packaging. I'm sticking with going around to businesses downtown in the city and around the college campus where there are a lot of shops.

Mandela Effects Anonymous 11/28/2022 (Mon) 11:20 [Preview] No. 3347 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Just came across a Mandela Effect nobody else has noticed.

Bomb-omb or Bob-omb?

I've always known it to be bomb-omb, bob-omb makes no sense. If you write out Bomb-omb it's bomb twice, which makes more sense than Bob-omb. What do you remember? Also, post more Mandela Effects.
6 posts and 3 images omitted.

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 20:16 [Preview] No.3468 del
Chick-fil-A has had the same logo for decades. Nothing has changed. I know because I've been going to the same one for three decades at the mall. It's never been renovated.

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 20:22 [Preview] No.3470 del
I confidently remember Chic-fil-a. I'll listen to the vocaroo later today, surely there's some interesting commentary in there.

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 20:33 [Preview] No.3471 del
Was it 'niggers are smelly' or 'niggers be smelly'?

I'll have to listen to your self-aggrandizing bullshit after I go back and listen to the older ones which I have to first go back and listen to the ones before that

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 21:11 [Preview] No.3477 del
Mandela effect is such retarded bullshit. I can't believe we went from discussing actual things like reptilians and the soul trap reincarnation matrix to this utter nonsense. Remember when /ashieyj/ was good? Btw, I remember it used to be spelled /ashleyj/ with an L, not an I. Must be the Mandela effect.

Anonymous 11/30/2022 (Wed) 21:26 [Preview] No.3481 del
These are comfy and always spark some interesting discussion. Thank you for making a positive contribution to this board

Anonymous 08/30/2022 (Tue) 00:01 [Preview] No. 48 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
You know what this board needs.. besides an abortion. A music thread. And right now, it's time to share the jams that make you laugh... the tunes that make you cry... and the songs that you keep groovin'.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jUP-x4dZIgI [Embed]
169 posts and 32 images omitted.

Anonymous 11/12/2022 (Sat) 00:37 [Preview] No.2712 del
I heard this story not too long ago when some dude was interviewing the hot chick from Saved By the Bell. Tiffani Thiessen is the definition of milf material. I've sat through a few of her shitty movies just to gawk.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0X0OnTsdtmE [Embed]

Anonymous 11/28/2022 (Mon) 12:24 [Preview] No.3350 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WBh-5b79EeI [Embed]

Anonymous 11/29/2022 (Tue) 10:54 [Preview] No.3371 del
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I missed that show growing up somehow. And now that I've heard "Screech"s testimony of what a bunch of sleazeballs the males leads were I'm glad I missed it. Also the girls on the show (except the black one) were having sex with those goons, which makes me repulsed by them in turn

Anonymous 11/29/2022 (Tue) 11:12 [Preview] No.3372 del
Dustin Diamond was a con, even got into porn when celeb sex tapes were a thing. The book he wrote was full of lies, he was doing what he could to make a buck. The rest of the cast outside of the show never had a bad track record except for Dustin.

Anonymous 11/29/2022 (Tue) 20:26 [Preview] No.3383 del
Dustin Diamond is Jewish.

ITS ALREADY SNOWING WHERE IM AT Anonymous 11/15/2022 (Tue) 21:47 [Preview] No. 2800 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
It’s snow time everyone!
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Anonymous 11/22/2022 (Tue) 12:31 [Preview] No.3136 del
Good technique and having the head well seated goes a long way to making it safe, like using a longer axe, a good height chopping block and some steel toe caps. if your afraid about the head coming off you can always leave it in a bucket of water to swell up a bit and secure it tighter

Anonymous 11/24/2022 (Thu) 05:26 [Preview] No.3205 del
not an expert, but in my experience, you don't want to split wood with an axe. what you want is a splitting maul. it's like an axe, but much heavier. the weight of the maul should be as much as you're comfortable with. a heavy maul makes splitting even hard woods much easier, since the weight will do 90% of the work for you. the work of splitting becomes more about aim, precision, technique etc rather than physical exertion. maybe this is common knowledge but everyone here keeps saying "axe" and I don't think anyone serious about chopping wood would want to use an axe, they'd use a maul. correct me if I'm wrong.

Anonymous 11/24/2022 (Thu) 06:04 [Preview] No.3207 del
A nitpick but correct. Although, I’ve heard the maul types referred to as axes. It’s just a different head. There are light weight splitting axes that do a good job as well. (Picrel is great) At the end of the day it depends on your preference and how much chopping you do. Personally it’s something I only do a few times a year so I don’t care either way.

Anonymous 11/24/2022 (Thu) 07:44 [Preview] No.3210 del
I'm very well aware of that. If you didn't notice, I mentioned I do it for physical training and don't want anything that is going to make it easier on me. I don't wear gloves and I use a simple wood handle axe. I suppose that if I lived on a homestead and needed plenty of firewood for my family, I would look to make the task easier to ensure we had plenty for the winter months. Are you familiar with Uechi-ryu or Iron Palm/Hand/Fist Kung Fu or even grip strength training? That's another reason I cut wood the way I do. I want my hands as strong as a Slap Fighting Champion's. What fucking sucks is all my shit was stolen so I have to buy all my grip strengtheners again. All I have left is a black 40lbs. GripPro trainer I found cleaning up. I had already surpassed this one and even the red 50lbs one. I was already using CoC grippers. I just have lost so much that I'm still slowly rebuilding but it's slowly coming together. I'm not really in a rush.
Fiskars does make some quality tools I hear. They are often mentioned in the YouTube videos I watch. I prefer traditional tools over all these modern ones that look like shit an astronaut would use. I like that rustic look. I actually don't have a fireplace or wood stove and only require kindling to get a fire going in a Dakota fire hole. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. All these tool companies keep trying to reinvent the wheel to stay profitable. I don't want my tools to look like a Nascar. It's like they are even trying to infantilize the last bastion of men. The hardware store.

Anonymous 11/27/2022 (Sun) 22:32 [Preview] No.3310 del
I'm more interested in splitting Ashley down the middle with my wood.

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Hey kids Anonymous 11/05/2022 (Sat) 17:24 [Preview] No. 2488 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
New Ashley video will be premiering LIVE today around 4:50pm EST, right before Endchan's monthly movie. There will be a live chat. Come join us: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner

Update: Stream is over. Watch the new video here: https://videos.icum.to/w/qxiVTowoo1YsZ8Y2KhjLem

Thank you to Endchan and for everyone who came. Now post your drawings, boys.
Edited last time by xmr on 11/05/2022 (Sat) 22:55.
71 posts and 22 images omitted.

Anonymous 11/21/2022 (Mon) 08:10 [Preview] No.3104 del
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Ashley, whatever you heard about me yesterday. It's not true, not a single word. I can't lie to you so I might as well tell you the truth. I only went to that gay club to meet a guy. I was gonna pay him to show me his big gun in the men's room. I thought guns were easy to come by where you live because of Columbine but that doesn't seem to be the case now. I need a big gun to go down on your happy trail. I don't want to get eaten alive by a cougar. I've already had a few proposition me at Le Peep. I was so afraid to go into that club because it was full of bears. The guy I met at the bar, Shorty, asked me was I ready to see his big gun. I told him I heard it's really impressive. There were so many fags there and I could easily have mistaken this guy for any one of them. I didn't want to get lost in the crowd so we used the buddy system. He took me by the hand and escorted me to the men's room. He pulled out his big gun from his trousers and it was nice. He let me hold it and it was kind of heavy. He asked me was it my first time and I told him it was. I started playing with it in the mirror and blew the tip. It was kind of bent off to one side but I could work with that. Then the guy gave me a fingerbang and we horsed around for a bit. He lit a cigarette and I gave him $20. That's when it all went ham. In walks this twink and they start pissing over the sink. It may have been my face blindness acting up but I swear it was you. I said, "Ashley?" And they replied, "Ashley?? No way, sweetie. It's me, Taz! ...Jesus Christ, is that your big gun?!" Then Taz started jerking my big gun. I tried to put it in my pants but was overcome with homophobia. My only weakness. Then the gun starts going off and Taz yells Jesus Christ! and tosses it out the restroom door onto the dance floor. Taz looked so much like you that I overcame my homophobia when my urge to protect you kicked in and I dived right between Taz's legs. We hit the floor. Next thing you know. Shorty got low. All I heard was gunfire and screaming. I'm sorry Ashley but I think I lost my v-card in the men's room of Club Q. In the chaos, Taz thought they were sucking on their thumb but it wasn't their thumb. I'm getting tested later this week. I want to be positive for you and not for HIV. I'm your crack baby, not your AIDS baby. When the gunfire stopped, all I could hear was Blood on the Dance Floor. That's when Shorty ran out of the restroom. I peered out from the restroom door and there was blood on the dance floor. Taz made a finger gun and slapped my ass saying they'll cover my rear. We walked out trying not to step in the AIDS blood and there was Shorty rubbing his big gun next to some dead trannies. He said our prints were all over this thing. Everyone had shot themselves because they had never been educated on gun safety. The trannies had taken the opportunity suicide. Guns really do kill people. When the police came in the back door, they arrested that guy because he was holding the gun. Taz was given a police cap and hoisted onto the shoulders of some bears and paraded around as a hero for stopping the shooter. I lost $20. Now I wish I had bought you a pizza gift card instead. I hope no one else here will make the same mistake I made. It's not easy being LB.

Anonymous 11/22/2022 (Tue) 20:47 [Preview] No.3149 del
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>with his family

Anonymous 11/26/2022 (Sat) 10:27 [Preview] No.3294 del
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As far as I know, Tencent has a minority share in Discord. The Chinese have a minority share in a lot of American companies. I'm not sure if Tencent is a willing puppet of the CCP but I do know the CCP does have some influence over them. It would be expected that their gov't would want to influence users on their network. Our gov't does that too. The majority of Chinese actually support their gov't so it wouldn't be farfetched that they would work with them when asked. There might be consequences if they don't. Last I heard, Tencent is on thin ice with the CCP. Due to recent gov't regulations, they lost a lot of stock value and the company is on life support. I don't know what's the hubbub with TikTok. I don't use it. It seems pointless. I know it's owned by a Chinese company. I know Trump started a pissing contest with them and it's a big deal in Washington right now. Just seems like an old fashioned Yellow Peril to me, which is as American as apple pie. I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.

Anonymous 11/26/2022 (Sat) 16:21 [Preview] No.3296 del
>I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.
underrated opinion. "muh china is coming" and "ccp le evil" is such a boomer take. the same evil that controls china exists here. china is the staging ground for their global plans (social credit etc). if you want to know what's coming to the west, take a look at china.
however, this isn't an endorsement of their aptitude for social domination. take for example the "great firewall" of china. the project wasn't even fully realized until like 2006. to this day it is easily circumvented (well, easily if you know what you're doing). point is, the dinosaurs in charge didn't even say, "hmm, this internet thing could be a problem for keeping the masses under control" until the mid 2000s. morons. here in the west, in modern times, we've taken a different tact: cancel culture. don't like what someone is saying? no laws necessary - just get their hosting providers to shut them down, cut off their access to financial services, etc. which method of censorship is more effective is yet to be seen, but I suspect its the latter, actually.

Anonymous 11/26/2022 (Sat) 18:59 [Preview] No.3298 del
This is the global elitist and founder of the World Economic Forum that I would be concerned about. Klaus Schwab declared on Chinese State TV that China is a model for many nations.