It took me a long time to work out it was not my job to make my parents happy, and never had been.
It was their job to raise me to be healthy and able to function with confidence in the world. And they didn't do it.
And I spent years feeling guilty about not pleasing them, while they never had any guilt at all. If you tried to tell them they had failed you they would be outraged and were simply not capable of believing it.
Their egos are impervious. They would rather heap more guilt on you than admit to their failures.