1930s, man fills survey. Question is "How do you sleep with your wife?"
Man thinks:
If I will write Left - they will say I'm left-leaning
If I will write Right - they will say I'm right-leaning
If I will write On top - they will say I try to be above the worker masses
If I will write Under - they will say I'm mislead by the crowd

So he thought and finally wrote "I sleep separately and masturbate"

Got 10 years in prison for connection with Kulak.