It's pretty amazing what this girl has done.
Simultaneously making life untenable and the only thing that makes it bearable. I never cared whether or not I died alone before her, but now all I think about is finding myself a mate, a girl I could spend the rest of my life with, a real best friend. Yet my brain will not let me compare any girl to her, nothing but her is allowed, nobody can even reach her in the slightest. So now it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm watching the same old videos on repeat while drunk and posting to the chans with broken parataxis.
This is hell.