On a serious note.
My friend who I ride with (of schnitzelride fame) bought a shiny new bike two weeks ago. Di2 Ultegra, aero cockpit, everything, really pretty.
I randomly met him today when I was returning home, parked at the side of the road. I had assumed he had pinchazo'd again (since he doesn't carry spare). So I stopped to laugh at him.
He turned around, his face bloodied, missing half a teeth, looking shellshocked. Turns out he chuted brutale on a flat road, probably a missed pothole or something. No idea how, fell down face first, broke his cockpit, his teeth. The rest of the bike looks ok I guess.
What a fucking unfortunate turn of fortune.