A Jew waltzes into his bathroom and finds his beautiful housemaid taking a shower. He asks:
-Are you alone?
-Yes, I am.
-Do you like to fuck?
-Yes, a lot.
-Then go fuck someone else, that soap is mine.

A beggar knocks at Isaac's door and says:
-A few cents, for God's sake.
-You can throw them under the door.

John Paul II was worried that Poles had a reputation of being dimwits. He addressed this by gathering a team of the brightest Polish architects and engineers and asked of them a glorious feat that'd showcase Polish brilliance to the world.
Some time later they return, announcing they have set the Tower of Pisa straight.
-But that's a World Heritage Site! Undo that immediately and figure out something else.
Months later they come to him with good news: they repaired the Colosseum.
-No, why did you do that! Undo it and make me a true marvel.
After a period they proudly note to him: