Later this year I will reach a special anniversary in my personal bildungsroman. To put it simply, sometime about ten years ago I woke up to the plight of our folk and the grim reality of our present age. I have been wracking my brain to pinpoint an actual date for it—perhaps when I read an enlightening book or watched a powerful speech—but to no avail. My shift of consciousness was so deep and sudden that my mind seems to have blacked out during the transition. Previously, I was a radical liberal. All of the values that I was brought up with pointed me in this direction. But within the time frame of about a year I became more or less what I am today. Since then, I have spent thousands of hours reading our books and networking with like-minded men. I have also started a family. Over this time I became more determined and radical, but my essential orientation has remained the same as it was all those years ago. As Bowden says, we first instinctively say “Yes!” to an idea and only later do we work it all out in our minds.
After the excitement of claiming this new idea for myself wore off, I remember a feeling of moral and social terror come over me. Imagine you are in a room full of friends and family; light, chatter, warmth, and life all around you. Then you have a thought to yourself, a simple but profound thought. And you accept the thought because it is true. Now you look up again, and the people are gone. The lights have gone dim. It is cold and silent, and now you are alone. For me, this change was a like the death of a god or an entire world. The collapse of an architecture of meaning and trust that I had relied on my whole life up until that point. The smart people were wrong. Wrong about almost everything. The good, responsible adults that I had grown up with seemed to be dupes and fools for a system evil beyond words. It’s not an accident that we use the analogy of ‘waking up from the matrix’. These people— my people—had been transformed into something alien and unreachable. They lived in an artificial world, a world of imaginary values and were not able any longer even to see, let alone speak the truth. The Heroes’ Journey begins when he expels himself from his own house. The step away from the world I knew as a boy was necessary, and I try to harbor no bitterness about it. I know that it is the same path that our whole generation across the world must walk. Indeed, I am certain that there are hundreds of thousands who have the same consciousness as me—men who have been struck by this idea and can now think of nothing else. Really, what else can occupy one’s mind except that fateful question, how will we free our Volk? For me, not one day has gone by without that thought. How do we escape this terrible prison we find ourselves trapped in? It is the most interesting problem in the world. I have lost a lot in this struggle over the last ten years (though far less than some). There have been missed opportunities, lost jobs, beatings, broken relationships and estrangements. And of course, that psychic pain we all feel bearing witness to the rape of our people and the destruction of all culture. But I bear it because I consider this struggle to be a holy duty, and in light of that my own personal satisfaction and happiness are really not very important. Yet there is also much I have gained. A struggle of this magnitude and consequence is a heavy burden, but as your raise the stakes for your own life and actions, you find that everything becomes so much more meaningful. My friends joke that I don’t have hobbies, which is partly true. I have a mission and I spend my free time doing lots of different things to forward that mission. Fanatics may be endlessly frustrated but they are not bored! If you walk the Volk Path as I have you will come across many disturbed and sometimes dangerous people. It can’t be denied. But you will also find those who recognize the same great truth you have found, and that is one of the strongest foundations for real friendship in this world. [continued]