>>1384
>You actually get it. Wow I'm impressed. I've felt a myriad of things that people would often try to externally describe as 'bittersweet' or 'ambivalence' yet those words never cut it for. Though less often I had the same with other emotions and feeling as well.
This is because music has got me to understand that. Whenever you pick a track, you say that it´s happy or sad. but when you don´t follow those simple patterns, the music that keep itself relevant over time it´s because it conveys a lot of feelings that cannot be pointed out so easily, not even in a hundred years you can discover their purpose. You hear a sad song but there are some in which you don´t know why it makes you feel that way, neither it´s depressing to cry over. It goes to your brain and the exercise behind the interpretation sometimes doesn´t have to pass a test but yourself and the circumstances when you listen to it. Maybe that´s why I don´t those antagonistic aspects as extreme as others would do.

>perhaps you were trying to humanize yourself.
I sometimes wonder if I act like a robot for not feeling anything at times in which I should. I check myself if I am going insane as well.
>in my darkest/lowest point I based things entirely on exterior benefits over my personal pleasure. I suppose it was robotic in a way, but I way to stressed to describe as myself as emotionless
yep. I see you know a lot about this one.
>I really speak as well to most, so I get that.
another example that goes into your list.
>I understand fretting if its not perfect but you could experiment if you wanted. Just make it a personal thing you do for yourself, don't even post it here unless you really want to.
I basically drew her as a way of protest. If nobody made content about her around July, then i got tired of waiting and entertained myself at doing it. Just the cheap pencils and a mobile to make photos (no scanner). I have them on Derpi as a way to remind my past, they are on the public eye but it´s not something to be proud of at all. I drew her as a 7 year old child but while I knew I was bad at it, I liked the experience, didn´t get bored during that month and even improved a bit. I can post them if you want. I just left it because in August, I had to do other things that consumed my time.
>Rarity is your best pone? Hmmm... didn't know that. I think she's a fine choice honestly. For me I've never had a best pone. Mane6 and CMC have always been my favorites but..

>I never have decided on a singular pone that I'm drawn to; it's just different ones at different times.
This last line is what defines my taste as well. Every character has a period for me but Rarity got that spotlight in the summer because: she got the best seapony design and Forever Filly aired. She also earned that turning point from my personal view of the series. I remember that change of view fondly because of her but that doesn´t mean I treat her as a goddess all the time. In fact, one day I could love Luna, another day Twilight, another one Fluttershy...