I think that some of the emotion here is related to that. Perhaps not strong but I do wonder if you are channeling a bit of sentimentality to your old fic and where you (and the board to an extent) are now. This fic does have a slight sentimental feel as it is an adaptation of your first little green here. It is something that makes me feel for it ever so slightly more than if I was just considering it on the first two layers. How do I factor this in my judgement? I am I to consider it part of the second layer? Is it just another bonus subtext that few can detect? In this case there is a very tiny subset of people who would have any chase of feeling that I mean you, me, possibly BO and a lurker or two... I feel when judging this I have to split this off.
My final judgement it is a good practice fic and with a some areas that I think are okay and some that I think could use a little work. I think it is limited in its appeal do to some factors both within (grammer, plot) and beyond your control but you never know what will happen.
As for how I feel on it personally? Well. This fic started as a tiny green and now it is over 13k words after two years. Now even this tiny green has gone beyond what we ever would have thought and I hope for more of this from the feature Such as a certain little something I have up my sleeve. Nice work /)
One other note: I like what you did with >>5420 and >>5421 >A guard that simply stares romantically at other guards or even passes time at imagining love stories with Twilight under the pseudonym named “Zephyr” It's both a small meta reference and turning those shipping images into something usable for the fic. Gives him a bit of character too but it did make me a bit confused on his age.
