>>847
>I sorry for ya dude. I wanna say I know how it feels, but I can't be sure. Usually when I encountered this feel I only found people telling me that they know how it feels and the only thing that will heal is time, yet I always felt an alienation when people told me stuff like this. I suppose in a meta sense I am saying that I get the feeling of isolation. My grandmother and grandfather that I was closest to died when I was just 11 (7 months apart). I never cried but only felt a brief pain followed by numbness. In a way I suppose I get something similer, as my grandmother died suddenly at the store from a stroke, but to say that 'I know how you feel' feels hollow gesture.
I have hardly felt anything to be honest. I haven't cried but it has made me appreciate what I have a little bit more. Death is real. However,my grandmother hasn't suffered at all and she said goodbye calmly before the other life. So,I think that makes it much less painful because she hasn't gone through awful things or illnesses before it like other cases.

>If there is anything I can do tell me dude, alrighty? I know that I am an Anon with my own chaotic mess of a life,, If want some MSpaint tier art, some stupid green to cheer your day, or just to vent, I'll be there.
Thanks for the help but I don't need it for now. I know it's sad and it feels somewhat cold, but it's not completely miserable because I haven't shared save counted moments of my childhood with her. I am not saying that I am a monster but I pretty much prefer to not think about it too much and get ready for the death of those who I genuinely care(my parents). In 20 years or so(if everything goes at a normal pace),those days or months will hurt and twist me.
For now, I am fine because I prefer to think/focus about other things and not bring myself down so easily but feel free to expose your senses if you feel like it,it's never excessive to give unclear yet hard feels every now and then.