>>184012, >>184013, >>184014, >>184015, >>184016, >>184017, >>184018, >>184019
As the aircraft commander, I’m supposed to have it all together. But, this time it feels a little weird. I can’t put my finger on it. I’m just tired of being tired, I guess.
We swing by the base DFAC for breakfast. The Air Force specifically opened the dining hall at Ramstein to serve me and my crew breakfast at 0100. We had a 24 hour day in front of us. We were the only ones there.
They did a full spread, omelets to order, eggs anyway, creamed beef on toast, etc. And the coffee was good! I felt very well taken care of. And my crew was happy.
But still, climbing into that left seat at 0300, staring at the panel lights and the dark German countryside, the doubts hit hard. I’ve never had these! What’s going on? Am I really ready for this? Transatlantic in winter, possible icing, fatigue creeping in after a long week of alerts and flying all over Africa and the Middle East. What if I screw up the NAT tracks or the fuel planning?
Twenty-something me, responsible for a crew, passengers, and a jet full of souls—felt like the weight of the whole damn Air Force system was on my shoulders. I told my copilot and crew, “Keep an eye on me. I’m off a little.” I knew all of these guys, they knew me. “Let’s go, boss.”
We taxied out, cleared for takeoff, and I pushed those throttles forward anyway. The four TF33s roared, and we climbed into the night. It was so quiet. And comforting. Getting away from the ground seemed to really calm me.
Then, after “coasting out” somewhere over the Atlantic, with the cockpit quiet except for the engines humming, my crew was good, our passengers were safe. I realized, then, that’s what the job was: showing up scared, second-guessing yourself, then getting it done.
Thankfully, I’ve never had that doubt since then. Thought you should know. Pilots are humans too.
https://x.com/BuzzPatterson/status/2056905218407960814

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