There's 3 ways to get to this point of development:
1- Being raised in the real world by example of people who are at this point and don't shelter their kids.
2- Getting beaten over and over by life for many decades and surviving.
3- Using introspection to give yourself that experience, removing all brakes and comforts and seeking the pain, in less decades and with less real life consequences and spirals of worsening of the situation.