It gets to be too much. I've always been the kind of bleeding heart person that carries burdens they don't need to carry, made worse by the fact that they were usually things that couldn't be helped. Then this attempt at socializing and getting a job and whatnot these last few years went awfully wrong (other than getting my HS degree and meeting a couple fellow autismos there) and kind of killed any optimism and hope I had left. I'm not like these people at all and I realize now that they never had any empathy for me or any sort of real connection with me. To them I've always been the weird freak, the nerd, the loser, the vibe killer, etc. Every interaction that involved the slightest hint of kindness towards me was done with the hope of getting something from me. And I just can't live in a world like that. There's NO point to that kind of life, it's essentially torture

>>55595
I've done so much work and look where I ended up. More miserable than ever before. It doesn't work that way sadly. It's kind of like how working more hours won't make you rich. It's about the people you surround yourself with, and most of the people around me are human diarrhea, or at least that's what they look like from my point of view. But I depend on my parents so I can't just move away. Not that that guarantees I'd find more compatible people either, although at least I'd be alone