https://youtube.com/watch?v=yuTLRH1Lf64 [Embed] see this dumb video that showed up on my homepage is actually an accurate representation of the type of mindset I consciously try to stay in. But every time I do relatively well for an extended period of time some PERSON (I feel the need to emphasize that because the problem is ALWAYS a person never a different species or an object or the weather) comes along and makes fun of me for being unemployed or does some other extremely hurtful thing to me in order to get me down. Sometimes not even just one person but a group of them. As if I didn't already struggle enough with my insecurities and my mom's ongoing health issues and the sociopathic rich uncle that's making moves to take one of our properties and all the other stuff. No, on top of all that I have to be judged and humiliated for my shortcomings and pretend like I'm oh so inferior to all these mediocre boring predictable mammals with no capability for empathy and no self awareness. How can I be anything but murderous