>>320 We must not let the fire die out before we are ready the embrace the cold. Luckily I have my anger that keeps me hot when my passion descends into depression but I don't recommend my way of doing things to sane people.
the sharing experience is really a painful part. When I try to put things into words I can feel my mind is making up frames and limits just to put what I am doing into a simple picture that others can understand. I have consciously cut the frames constantly or it fucks with my progress seriously annoying. Really hinders the experience sharing when your mind is not synced up with other people.
And yeah results... My life went from bareable bad to so fucking of a challenging shit that I am pretty sure I am paying off generational amount of karma atm and life is testing me how much more I can pay off in this single transformation. My grip on this reality and my environment is strengthening but that is actually not a good news because it means I have to use all my newfound/improved powers to stop catastrophies happening around me constantly. It really saps my strength and leaves me minimal amount of development time AND STILL THE DEVELOPMENT HAPPENS SOMEHOW. I don't know why but this thing that is happening to me is trying to kill me and I am not sure how intentional it is because it's not the spell's fault so I don't want to scare anyone it's just my own retarded circumstances that are finally trying to solve themselves but they realized the greatest catalyst for the change is me.(And I sorta predicted this to happen in 2019 when I had a moderate understanding of astrology but I expected this to happen more smoothly) I could rant about this longer but the truth of by fire be forged is a great in this part of my life. (and funny thing all the shit that is happening to me is shielding me from the craziness of the covid psyop... sometimes it even helps me... except the part when I have to deprogram the people around me so they don't cause further problems but that is such a hassle I usually keep it on minimum, they can have all their vaccines as they want I will not fight against the propaganda machines of the 21th century for other people's sake it's a futile battle which will be won only by watching it from the sideways until the moment of push shows itself anyway)
