>>368
>Could you share what you saw please?
Your environment is insulating you on all sides with comfort of the kind humans generally seek. But this makes it extremely difficult to practice any kind of ascetism at all. Even sitting down to meditate or practicing prayer on your own may be seen as provocative. It's the kind of environment where in the past, religious followers would do things like climb up on a pillar and just stand there in the street, and people would be provoked by it. Doing nothing at all would in itself break with this environment of comfort so much that it could create violent reactions from your surroundings.
This makes it possibly even harder than to practice in the wilderness.
There was a discussion on this topic in FG where it was said in China, the environment is like a stern teacher hitting you on the head if you do it wrong. Your biggest issue is slacking off or trying to find shortcuts to get it easier. You would instantly get in huge trouble, and maybe blame the environment instead of your shortcomings, until you delude yourself that you are good enough. In the process you become like many chinese, lying and cheating your way through life to get a small comfort.

In the west, if you slack off you are encouraged and praised, no one will tell you to correct yourself. Instead you can do everything wrong and not get any negative reaction from your environment. Instead if you try to be a decent person, other people feel you are trying to look better than them, and they'll try to drag you down back into degeneracy.

I think you can see here which applies to you.