I realized months ago that I am able to "shift" myself into the "female aspect" then use that perception to fix my male aspects. From this I am able to finally use this everlasting calm mindset. Not the buddhist "perfect zen" yet but the one that was not ruined by the modern overstimulation of all the senses we have. No wonder there were traditions that forbade women being there at all. They just mess up the syncing process of the neophytes and adepts alike.

Also that thing about the "earth mothers" interpreting "lust" as an attack. It is an "attack". It is a permission to impregnate and a command to prepare an egg to be fertilized. If you feel lust the other party is obliged to either accept it or deny it. But that is not "good" because humans need to breed like rabbits or this constant tribal warfare show cannot continue therefore humans need to be in an absolute "rape and be raped" mode. Just merely smelling a male around gives a female 10 requests for preparing an egg.

My guides told me to not "deny" this "lust" because i have to understand it. I had to learn that by "denying" I literally block and lock many vital energy flows while if I understand it I can accept the true way they are meant to flow. I never realized I inhibited my energies this much and now I am seeing how hard everyone is inhibiting themselves unwittingly. As much as I want to parrot the RETVRN meme... The place and understanding that we need to reach might be not in the past anymore but at a place we will need to find by ourselves.