Quite a few times in my life I've had these 'matrix opens up' experiences to the point it's almost.... not mundane, but I look at it almost like a sinful temptation. God lays reality right at your feet.

My being comes out of nonbeing: my perceptions are part of my being. (If you can comprehend this u r whiter than a lunch sack)


I used to think frequently that one day the entire reality would kinda unravel before me. One day I closed my eyes and I felt like I saw it happen. My vision went away and I saw shapes and color beyond the void, and I had a horrible feeling about how detatched I would feel from the world from now on. I saw through reality into something else. I said oh God I need to forget, this is pure cognitohazard. I was maybe 8, I've never forgotten. But I moved on.

With my youngest tup heading towards his 6th birthday I wonder if I'm getting into oldfag territory. Regardless, it seems like everyone gets off the wonderland wagon eventually. The seeing isn't the doing.

I don't understand why you need such rituals. Unless it's a fetish or your method of similar entertainment. You're too old to deny your ability to just do things.