Well I've always known I was fundamentally different from most other people but now it's finally got a name. I hate labels but things are as they are, I'm somewhat happy it's not just me. To keep it shorter I participated in a study which ran me through a lot of both physical and mental tests regarding sensory and perception stuff. One test was about sensory processing sensitivity and the examiner increasingly frowned at my answers finally concluding she had rarely ever seen a score like mine. Looks like I'm a textbook example of highly sensitive person, which also makes sense with my INFP reel feel crew MBTI results.

Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) is defined as greater depth of information processing, increased emotional reactivity and empathy, greater awareness of environmental subtleties, and ease of overstimulation.
The literature on SPS suggests that roughly 20% of the population is
assumed to be highly sensitive and 80% less sensitive (the dreaded normalfags). A popular metaphor is the Orchid-Dandelion metaphor, where Dandelions or weeds reflect the majority of the population (around 80%) who are pretty much dull to the influence of either positive or negative environments, whereas Orchids (the remaining 20%) are strongly affected by environmental adversity but also flourish more in positive environments. At least theoretically.

But most of all, individuals with such traits suffer the negative consequences of environmental adversities more than others. We may thrive and outcompete normies in ideal environments that fit our narrow niche (quiet, beautiful and free of plebs) but simply die in adverse (=average) ones. So it's NOT a good thing to be an Orchid. Orchids aren't keystone species in an ecosystem. Rather an exotic quirk of nature and the first to disappear when things go south. Without much ado. I contrast, Dandelions thrive everywhere. They're resilient die-hards that can cope with a broad environmental spectrum without giving a fuck. Mundane, common, mostly ugly. But successful.

Literally the sandniggers living in a pile of trash in a devastated war-zone in absolute poverty, but with a smile and 5 children. Those are the weeds. Brutish, dumb and blind to all the ugliness around them. Which makes them not just strong but also easy to satisfy. Maybe they are the true fools. I have always said that the key factor to happiness is - being an idiot. Am I a fool? Probably not. Rather a sad clown.

So yeah this sucks. It means I am primarily an extrinsically motivated person. My motivation is strongly dictated by my environment. I can't function in adverse surroundings even though in a positive environment I am as I always felt intrinsically motivated. I don't need others to tell me what to do. I can come up with everything myself - but only in a good environment. which is an incredibly narrow niche.

So how is this related to tuppering?
Data suggests that high SPS individuals may readily intuit, “feel” and integrate information, and respond to others’ affective states, in particular to positive emotional states of a close partner (relative to a strangers'). These results are consistent with cardinal traits of SPS as they highlight depth of processing, awareness and being more affected by others’ moods. Obviously makes sense. If you are blind to others' emotions you'll run into difficulties emulating another personality and interacting with it.

We're still sorting this out and so far it's not totally clear how much Alice differs from me in this regard. I think less in the sensitivity (you know how picky she is coming up with endless lists of things that are absolutely unacceptable), it's more about the fight/flight/freeze response to such stress. Well you can guess where this goes.