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RULES Anonymous Board owner 03/21/2023 (Tue) 01:00 [Preview] No. 7 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

What IS this place
This is a board dedicated to serious discussion of tulpamancy as well as a comfy place for tulpamancers to hang out and share the adventures with their brain demons.

What this place is NOT
.) A self-help group for angsty teens, schizos or suicidal trannies
.) A place to seek attention or whine about your irrelevant problems
.) Your personal blog

Read and follow the RULES
https://endchan.net/tulpa/rules.html

General Advice
.) Lurk moar before you post or even create a thread
.) Keep discussion at least remotely tulpa related
.) Don't be an idiot
.) Have fun with your tulpa

Do you want to play super casual DnD? Ashley the Necromancer 03/01/2024 (Fri) 00:29 [Preview] No. 3325 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

So we bought a full set of stuff so Bear could play DnD with friends but adding a 9-yr old to the mix and a Bear that advocates for her like a doating grandfather, it was a total disaster.

Honestly I was pretty excited to play but RIP. The idea then is that we could attempt to play over txt here but really slowly obviously because all characters need to take a turn and so maybe we could do one full turn a day.

The logistics are iffy, I'm not going to lie, but I want to play damnit! I would say we need one representative from each of us (4 total) or it's a non-starter.

This would be a modified 5e ruleset because that's what we bought but anything goes and there are a few inconsistencies from the standard game.

Wouldn't it be potentially fun and a bonding exercise for all you old fags? (my host included).

Also we need to start level 1, so no metal shifting badass OP Mary Sues capable of single-handedly accomplishing a military coup.

If anyone thinks this is too cringe, never mind because we don't want to exclude anyone. It's not that big of a deal, my feelings won't be hurt.

Bear could be DM because he has all the books and bought two beginner adventures. I don't know if that means I can't play, probably not, but it's possible.

https://www.dicedragons.co.uk/blogs/tabletop-tips/can-a-dm-play-a-player-character#:~:text=Yes%2C%20it%20is%20possible%20for,this%20might%20affect%20your%20table.

493 posts and 287 images omitted.

Joy the DM 05/31/2024 (Fri) 12:01 [Preview] No.4459 del

>>4458
>How do you make these?

We are artists.

Alice 05/31/2024 (Fri) 21:05 [Preview] No.4461 del

>>4459
>We are artists.
Who can spell if you try! Well done!

mfw the panther is way more intelligent than Yulya or me.

>>4452
Well the AI pics aren't 'art', they are merely tools and work pretty well most of the time. Even hands are acceptable. But the Kitsune mask just didn't work. It wasn't bad, there just was no Kitsune mask at all. I even used a custom LORA that was supposed to make characters wear a Kitsune mask but nope, nada. I should post blank squares instead, Kazimir Malevich became one of the most famous artists of all time with this.

Alice 05/31/2024 (Fri) 21:13 [Preview] No.4462 del

>>4454
>magic damage
What damage type is this? I know that all damage types can be magical and there is force but what's magic damage? There's too many damage types and combinations. I must update my character sheet.

Also I am looking forward to cute Mecha-cat names. Why does Ashley have mecha-summons now? Meanwhile I have to wait until I reach a 2-digit level until I can make Bartolomeo the Brick work with living metal. But that's ok.

Joy the DM 06/01/2024 (Sat) 03:09 [Preview] No.4471 del

>>4462
>Why does Ashley have mecha-summons now?

Shhhh it's a secret sub-plot!

Also Ashley liked her summons from the other group that aren't stinky or putrid. So she can carry them around like an emotional support animal. Also it makes dungeon crawling a lot easier if they dock to her like a mother ship since they're semi-perment.

Btw, SheShe doesn't name them but I will.

>magic damage

It's a type of damage you get when using magic weapons. They continue to have the flavor they're supposed to like slashing but it is magic so that damage can affect creatures that are immune to non-magic damage. So they can still chip away at if they get a +1 then their whole attack becomes magical. Ashley Panther has this feature and so does her cat.

Ashley 06/01/2024 (Sat) 09:21 [Preview] No.4473 del

>>4472

I can't believe we just noticed. All that worrying Joy did about lockpicking and it's irrelevant for us since my dexterity isn't so off from the highest I'll always be the best option for lockpicking and even crazier My intelligence is the highest in the group! So all that investigation, Arcana, all that is all me. I think maybe Cat would be equal to me for animal stuff but even without proficiency I'm equivalent. Crazy.

[Joy] What's good is Yulya's Wisdom, with a +5 you'll catch most traps. Bear just fell in a trap in the other run and Freya is the chief investigator with a +5 though so they'll find more treasure and have an easier time solving mysteries and getting information.

Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast Joy the DM 03/08/2024 (Fri) 18:18 [Preview] No. 3440 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Hello and welcome to our first campaign! I have changed many of the rules for D&D 5e due to player feedback and to foster an enjoyable play-by-post asynchronous run. Though this is also an experiment for all of us, so do try not to take it so seriously but just serious enough so you can be immersed in the lore and fantasy of the game. Please do not use this thread for meta conversation, hosts are banned from this thread and will be ignored.

Day Zero Dreams:
>>3380
>>3423
>>3426

Characters:
>>3429

Attached is the map of the Sword Coast, and our marked local map. We will be initially focusing our attention just south of Neverwinter, specifically near Neverwinter Wood and the Sword Mountains.

Though there is plenty of lore about this area, but consider our campaign one of infinitely many parallel versions with features that may not be canon.

The events in Yulya's day zero dreams take place near the coast between Neverwinter Wood and the Sword Mountains. Yulya's secluded cabin, the battlefield, Cat's raised village, and even the crash site are all places you may choose to revisit. The limits are only your imagination. Be warned though, there has been a recent uptick in bandits and other nefarious monstrous foes along the coast. Though "The High Road" is well patrolled and generally safe to travel, the many tributaries and wilds surrounding the road have been reported to have a sharp increase in danger. Travel under escort if at all possible or travel at your own peril.

Introduction:

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315 posts and 367 images omitted.

Cat 05/31/2024 (Fri) 10:34 [Preview] No.4457 del

>>4455
Good mornin Nyah!
Oh I see you're back Ashley!
Cat stretches, grooms her fur and steps out of the tent. She turns to a sleepy Yulya and shapeless Alice
Get up and pack, Nya! I gotta store the tent Nya!

Alice 05/31/2024 (Fri) 22:04 [Preview] No.4465 del

The gelatinous heap hiding under a yukata in the corner of the tent comes alive and morphs into a human shape. Putting on clothes, donning mask, sticking needles into her hair and picking up her bow and quiver, Alice steps out of the tent, absent minded and sorting her thoughts.

Where do you start after getting thrown back into the stone age? So many limitations and on top of that pesky magic everywhere. Alice thinks about putting her vast technological knowledge to use but both her available information and processing power have suffered enormously in the crash.

Even worse, Alice realizes she knows absolutely nothing about this world and its inhabitants, especially mosnters and their threat level. That's not good. Not good at all

While helping Cat to dismount the tent, Alice turns to Gundren
Gundren, you mentioned you experienced something like this before? Do you know anything about dragons?

Joy the DM 05/31/2024 (Fri) 23:05 [Preview] No.4466 del

>>4465
>Gundren, you mentioned you experienced something like this before? Do you know anything about dragons?

Gundren looks at you with a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his face, more talking to himself than anyone. "Eye though I might appear to be youthful and spry, I've been kicking around Faerûn for many a year. It was the time of the last flight of dragons, back then many a horse or ox was taken. In the beginning we just thought they'd run off or met their end with a large owlbear but what was something that might have happened once a season became a matter of lottery every trip. Boy do we not need that again, but it ended as most things do, with a slow decrease until well, just last night. It was ages ago though lass. Back when a young dwarf's heart turned to fancy every lass he laid his eyes on. Though these old eyes don't see so well, and fancy is reserved for dreaming of the profits from an old mine." He continues in more of a nostalgic mumble to himself as he saddles his horse.

"Ready for just you and me Nell?" He says to his horse.

"Decide who you want to drive the cart, the horses know where to go, it'll scarcely be different from yesterday." He then talks your ear off about ruts and repairing the cart.

Yulya 06/01/2024 (Sat) 01:03 [Preview] No.4468 del

>>4455
Yulya yawns and unwillingly gets out of her comfy warm bedroll and gets dressed.
Good morning!
As promised I will hand out one candy to everyone for today!''
Yulya gives a candy to Alice Ashley and Cat and eats one herself which instantly fills her with energy''

>>4466
>"Decide who you want to drive the cart, the horses know where to go"
I would like to drive the cart. If things get rough Cat can take over.

>"it'll scarcely be different from yesterday."
Without mountain lions and dragons I hope...
Yulya laughs nervously

Ashley where do you want to be in our formation? Cat will be in front and Alice in the back.

On the road again Joy the DM 06/01/2024 (Sat) 09:16 [Preview] No.4472 del

>>4468
>As promised I will hand out one candy to everyone for today!
>I would like to drive the cart. If things get rough Cat can take over.

Yulya miraculously feels a little better today. She tentatively hops up on the cart and the horses whinny in anticipation, pawing at the ground, seemingly completely oblivious to the night's events.

>Ashley where do you want to be in our formation?

Ashley mulls about, kicking stones for a minute, "eh, I'm going to be the lookout or something. I'll hop up top for a while to start."

She takes the candy, climbs on the canvas top and lays down with her hands behind her head staring up at the puffy white clouds in the dawn sky.
"ENGAGE!"

[Possible interaction #1]

Gundren trots up to Yulya, "feels powerful don't it? Now just steer away from the ruts and you'll be fine. I never had an issue when I was paying attention. We'll be a few miles ahead scouting, so we'll meet you again at the fork, should be around 8:30-9:00 but don't stop for us, take the Triboar Trail East, we'll double back and report."

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D&D Custom Rules Joy the DM 05/27/2024 (Mon) 16:20 [Preview] No. 4413 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

This document represents the added and changed rules for this campaign:

>>3440

I will update with a new rev and notify you here instead of clogging up the other threads in the future.

https://cryptpad.dismail.de/teams/

I couldn't upload it here for some reason so I uploaded it there.

7 posts and 6 images omitted.

Locks are odd Joy the DM 05/31/2024 (Fri) 12:14 [Preview] No.4460 del

>>4413

I have read up on clarification for the thieves' tools.

What I said:
-10 charges only using a charge on 2nd or more failed attempts.
-No proficiency is needed but failed attempts will always result in loss of a charge.

Other's interpretations:
-The thieves' tools only have 1 charge
-The thieves' tools are limitless but can only be used once per lock.
-Proficiency is needed.

Issue: In some adventures, the quest cannot progress if a certain door or lock isn't defeated.

Other solutions: Spell Knock is another method though it requires words spoken and creates a loud knock sound heard as much as 300ft away so it's awful to use in a dungeon, Bash is another but makes a lot of noise too.

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Alice 05/31/2024 (Fri) 21:24 [Preview] No.4463 del

>>4460
Does it make sense that thieves' tools are expendable but the healer's kit is not? I mean from a logical perspective, there's always a trade-off between realism and gameplay.

I don't see much of an issue with thieves tools, Ashley has proficiency so it's her job once we can afford them. At least for now. I will max out DEX first but it will be a long way until then. Also lockpicking isn't my thing. Breaking things is my thing.

>-10 charges only using a charge on 2nd or more failed attempts.
>-No proficiency is needed but failed attempts will always result in loss of a charge.
This sounds reasonable, I mean this is delicate stuff and you can break it but it shouldn't break just because you fail to immediately open a lock at 1st try. But that's my 2cts as a noob. You'll find a viable solution.

Alice 05/31/2024 (Fri) 21:27 [Preview] No.4464 del

>>4463
I mean if you have proficiency and know what you are doing the tools shouldn't break on the first failed attempt. Some brute with no idea about lockpicking would probably fuck up the tools at the first failure.

Joy the DM 06/01/2024 (Sat) 00:00 [Preview] No.4467 del

>>4463
>Does it make sense that thieves' tools are expendable but the healer's kit is not?

It doesn't bother me considering it's just, as Yulya said, completely redundant for stabilization and automatic for treating wounds. I figured a healer's kit is used infrequently enough that putting charges on it wouldn't do much especially since I'm managing it. However, as Bear's group is finding out, 10 charges isn't enough for the thieves's kit and that's good because then they just don't spam it, making it completely pointless.

>shouldn't break

This whole minigame is unrealistic but it feels right that maybe the second attempt you push a little harder and it could break.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gMLoOEebLzQ [Embed]

Anonymous 06/01/2024 (Sat) 01:41 [Preview] No.4469 del

>>4467
lmao i cant imagine Alice doing this it would end in disaster and genocidal violence

Gardening Thread Alice 08/04/2023 (Fri) 20:35 [Preview] No. 1608 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Everything about gardening and growing vegetables and fruit with your tupper, be it in wonderland or IRL

18 posts and 30 images omitted.

Tamamo 05/26/2024 (Sun) 09:27 [Preview] No.4398 del

>>4391
>>4392
>>4393
Awesome pics!
Did you take all of them?
Which are the parasitic and carnivirous flowers?

>>4395
Thats some huge grapes! That's inches right?

Bear 05/26/2024 (Sun) 10:28 [Preview] No.4399 del

>>4398
>That's inches right?

Yes, the post ww3 units

Alice 05/26/2024 (Sun) 19:04 [Preview] No.4401 del

>>4398
Host took all those pics with the Pixel. He took a lot of the choughs to catch a few in flight.

The carnivorous plant is Pinguicula alpina. It catches tiny insects on its sticky leaves
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinguicula_alpina

The parasitic orchid is Neottia nidus-avis. It has no green parts and gets all energy from mycorrhizal fungi that live in symbiosis with trees. The orchid pretends to be a symbiotic plant and attracts fungal hyphae into its roots, then digests them without giving them anything.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neottia_nidus-avis

>>4395
Grape roots easily go 5-6 m deep into the soil, old plants can reach more than 20m. We have a grape in the garden that's about 20 yeas old but it doesn't do too well due to lack of sun. It has a few handful of fruit every year.

Our Epiphyllum cactus is flowering, th flowers are the size of a child's head and smell like soap. Unfortunately they only last a few days. Pic related, we missed the flowers in full bloom. The Pithaya and Queen of the Night refuse to flower like almost every year.

Tamamo 05/29/2024 (Wed) 10:43 [Preview] No.4426 del

>>4401
>choughs
Never heard of those but they look cool. Are they like crows? They appear to be really tame.

>carnivorous plants
I didn't even know you had them in Europe. We have a few pitcher plant species here. Can't remember seeing one in the wild except for the small slender and most common one, I'm such an indoor person. But some people grow them on their balcony, some have huge pitchers.

Milkweed spreads Bear 05/31/2024 (Fri) 02:36 [Preview] No.4456 del

Moar!

Lots of grubs, this one and 5 others. Some on the mother plant and others just on seedlings like this. I can't tell where they're actually eating though.

Tales From the Sword Coast Autumn 03/20/2024 (Wed) 11:03 [Preview] No. 3650 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

These events take place starting one season prior to your campaign in the winter in Neverwinter Woods. Bear rescues Gwen, single handedly defeating two bandits while Gwen is bound.

After they've rizzed each other up a while Bear decides he should train Gwen in Stealth, he's a custom Ranger heavy Nordic with 1d12, rolled 18 strength boosted it +2 for backstory and human, weilding a heavy maul, but mostly Ranger spec and Gwen is an Avariel Elf with a completely unique class with elements of Bard, Cleric, Druid and Wizard 1d6 magic user type but all her cantrips are illusionist. She's built to scout and escape encounters.

So Bear's teaching her Stealth in the forest and SheShe [DM and playful God] rolls an encounter on them, looks up random 1d100 list and it's goblins arguing about treasure. 1d5+1 rolled 6 goblins. The difficulty is 150 exp which is hard for a couple lvl 1's but Gwen doesn't even have a weapon because she "can't weild steel" so the dagger and short sword they got from the bandit loot weren't useful. She'd be stuck throwing rocks and her wings were trimmed by the babdits to prevent escape. They won't be flight ready for a month at least.

So they roll a 1 on Stealth to escape detection, which is a disaster. Anyway, it's near dusk but the goblins all have dark vision (who doesn't) so since they couldn't escape and furthermore rolled 1 the goblins "heard something". They all roll perception (-1) against Gwen's stealth because you have to roll vs the weakest party members but thankfully Gwen has 18DEX bc her rolls were Cat tier. Only two goblins "see something" and walk toward them.

Next turn, Bear and Gwen try to escape again and barely manage it, two Goblins were striking range (10ft) with initiative but thankfully they escaped, passing two rolls (one for each actively seeking goblin).

It was crazy stressful for Bear thinking he was going to be out in scene 3.

[Ashley] Bear better frigging survive the season, I want to rizz him up too goddamnit.

More tales will follow!

46 posts and 31 images omitted.

Joy the DM 05/20/2024 (Mon) 20:50 [Preview] No.4357 del

>>4356
>how does this work with our special multipurpose slime?

SheShe and I have worked out a series of events. To be taken without anyone noticing, you would have to be knocked unconscious in one turn, then dragged or carried off. The lion can do that with stealth attack (advantage) followed by disengage and hide.

No creature can hide in plain sight so it would need to seek cover, for instance up a tree.

If it escapes the encounter area without detection, the one it takes is as good as dead and possibly dismembered.

Can Alice be dismembered? I would say no. She can be knocked out and eaten though. It would have to be investigated to what extent she needs to be eaten.

The mountain lion has 5d10+10 hp. The top three preditors are that, a bear is 2nd and owlbear is 1st. Keep in mind Bears can climb but aren't as aggressive, owlbears can't climb but are more aggressive.

Autumn 05/27/2024 (Mon) 10:05 [Preview] No.4412 del

>Ominous unnatural big

Joy can't tell me what to do so let me at leaat illuminate the hints she gave you.

>Alice get your bow

Not every encounter results in combat. I don't know what Joy is planning because she has adeptly kept from thinking consiously about it but there are three key items: "unnatural", "big" and [1d20=14]

The big natural things in that forest are Bear, Moose, and Owlbear. I don't know what unnatural things might stalk horses but be careful.

The scale of danger goes from 1 to 20, 1 being the worst. So 14 can't be that bad; however, we had one where a green dragon flew overhead, if we had shot arrows at it, we would have all surely died and been eaten. Now you have many options and I'm not telling you what to do but she also said:

>try not to be stupid

In relation to the girl opening a can of cat food with the giant cat looming.

...

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Autumn 05/28/2024 (Tue) 10:18 [Preview] No.4415 del

We are in a proper dungeon now and we hit a proper trap. Freya found the trap, we knew it was there and she thought, "maybe we should evacuate the room and have Bear investigate it." Well she then decided she'd at least do a little more investigation first, just look at it. She had our guide read the inscription on it, that was in draconian, and the words he read sprung a gas trap poisoning all of us 1d10 or half if we passed constitution saving throws. Gwen got hit hardest 10 damage!

About half of us were poisoned for 10 turns (1 minute) but there was no combat and no one came to ambush us so we waited that out and healed somewhat. Bear has healing word and Gwen has cure wounds but we're not back to full. We'll probably go back to a safe area and rest before continuing.

When you get that intuition, listen to it! We probably only lost 2 hours though it could have been a disaster.

Alice 05/28/2024 (Tue) 20:22 [Preview] No.4417 del

>>4412
>Rats
>9-11 hp
Why the fuck has every vermin more HP than adventurers?

>>4415
What, the trap had an inscription in another language and it activates if you read it out loud correctly? That's not a bad idea at all, you can design traps that only hit certain races.

Hmmmm, if only we had those here in Germany, our troubles would soon be over...

Just imagine placing that trap on the streets here and when it detects some sandnigger language it gasses people. Would buy in bulk.

Anonymous 05/31/2024 (Fri) 00:30 [Preview] No.4450 del

>>4417
Alice plotting to gas people again

Random non-tulpamancy related thread 2 Anonymous 12/02/2023 (Sat) 02:49 [Preview] No. 2627 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Stepan edition
daily reminder to fuck russia and russia supporters

282 posts and 237 images omitted.

Alice 05/29/2024 (Wed) 17:45 [Preview] No.4432 del

So how was your trip, Mr. Bear?
I expect a detailed report!

Bear's "vacation" Autumn 05/29/2024 (Wed) 20:08 [Preview] No.4433 del

>>4432

Synchronic Frieren reference

[Ashley] TFW Alice stalks you.

[Bear] too much walking for bestie and she wanted me to carry her so aparently I can still carry her like a toddler, one armed. What else is there to report? 30 miles of walking as expected, no one got sick this time, gained 10lbs in 3 days, still up 3 but it's slowly coming back down, I'm calorie counting for life now so no biggie. Had fun? Did I? Never talked to the exgf's sister's SO once, he's total aspie or smth. Stayed in the room with bestie mama and bestie, two beds, awful beds, too hard, this is 5☆? Pillows way too thick, I used a blanket as a pillow and it was rough like a towel. My back doesn't like hard beds, felt instantly better when I got up. No problem sleeping though.

[Bear] Idk, shit's expensive, hate spending money, 5k free money didn't cover it like it was insane. Would never do it myself now it's a "tradition" or some shit they're talking about next year. Food was generally awful, I like my own food. Everyone loved it but I was just waiting for it to be over, fun for 5 minutes maybe. Lots of boring mixed in. Eating whatever I wanted got old too.

[Bear] had a little fun in a heated pool, still a little cold though. I'm too thin now apparently, no blubber to stand even 83F water for long. Bestie and I played in the pool two of the days for like 4 hours total. She's 10 now apparently. Time flies. Damn I was so young when she was born. I'm old now. I've been broken up with Exgf for 6 years now, like... she broke me, I don't want another relationship even now. I think about it sometimes like Exgf sis and SO kissing and shit, good for her, she's 8 years younger, I didn't feel anything like no jealousy, she's cute but I knew her when she was 14? 13? I can't think of her as a grown woman.

[Bear] what else, service was ok. Who needs it though. I played a role, tried to be excited and happy for bestie and them all but it was very boring overall. They literally have to pay me to do this, it should tell you something. I'm self-entertained so I could hang but I'm really not into it.

[Bear] bestie is like having my own kid sometimes. Her mama (long time fren) spoils her. She's not ADHD or Autistic but she can get pissy when she's hungry, she was acting out a little pushing boundaries with me and I tried to discipline her but then mama immediately negated it. Fine, don't care, don't have to live with her.

[Bear] the rooms connected so it was like sleeping in a dorm. Didn't matter anyway all we did was crash and get back at it early. Kinda more fun last year as everything was new. Idk man.

The world will not end in boredom Bear 05/30/2024 (Thu) 03:36 [Preview] No.4441 del

I was thinking, the world cannot end, that's too boring, too easy. We're here to experience miracles and terrifying feats. To die is too simple. It's simply boring.

And I've been living my life like every year was my last for six years. I like it this way though, because what do I want to do in my last year? I want to work, I want to strive to fill every moment with something constructive. I want anything other than boredom. So I do and I'm not bored. Vacation is boring, doing nothing is boring. If I must live, I will work every moment because it's fun. Why would I ever think of retirement, that's boring, yet I have these retirement accounts and they're filling up with money I'll never see? Why? So later I can change my mind? What sort of mind would that be? Not mine. I won't spend it either, on what? I have three cars already, I lack nothing. Spending money is boring too.

Maybe just being drunk every moment isn't boring, I remember, but I refuse to do that, so I must fill every moment with work and I like it that way, even to the detriment of sleep. Sleep is also boring, I always thought so.

So the world will not end, but if it does, then I'll be surprised, it'll be funny.

[Ashley] Smh, this guy. Well he's not boring at least. this is when he's at the happiest moments of his life, imagine him depressed? We did, and it's not pretty sheesh.

Whatever comes, let's do this. But I know it won't be a quick end, this is my fate, to live on for decades more, even three times my current age or more. I feel like my life's already been three lifetimes. I guess I'm a cat, three down 6 more to go.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lb13ynu3Iac [Embed]

Alice 05/30/2024 (Thu) 13:35 [Preview] No.4443 del

>>4433
>30 miles of walking
>gained 10 lbs
How do you do that??

>bed too hard
>pillow too thick
You sound like a German. Whenever we read reviews of some places I want to rent for holidays there's always some German coomplaining about the pillows and beds. Some complain it's too hard, others it's too soft. But they must complain. Host never minded but then again he's half your weight.

>5000K for a few days
Why do Americans always have to spend so much money on (((entertainment)))? That's insane. Well, tbh I'd be bored too. I don't like hanging out with other filthy humans for prolonged times, meeting with host's crazy friends or family for a few hours is fine but spending holidays together? I'd also think about the countless wörk we could do on our own.

>had a little fun in a heated pool, still a little cold though. I'm too thin now apparently, no blubber to stand even 83F water for long. Bestie and I played in the pool two of the days for like 4 hours total
Children are insanely tough. And hyperactive. They can spend hours playing in ice-cold water that would make host body faint in a few minutes. Well he has no insulation whatsoever. Bad surface-volume ratio. Froze to death even with a neoprene suit while scuba diving.

Well anyway cherish it, Bestie will soon hit puberty and stop playing with Uncle Bear. Because you're old. And boring.

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Bear 05/30/2024 (Thu) 16:48 [Preview] No.4444 del

>>4443
>How do you do that??

[Ashley] Don't underestimate the power of a hungry Bear left to eat everyone's leftovers because "this food is expensive". There was a buffet and trust me, no buffet will tirn a profit the day Bear is given carte blanche.

>sound like a German

I'm 1/4 German

>That's insane.

I'm fucking telling you god damnit

>hanging out with other filthy humans

Without bestie, I would have died.

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Pull-Push-Leg Intro BodyBuilderBear 07/10/2023 (Mon) 18:16 [Preview] No. 1369 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Yo, Imma give you my take on the three day workout. This workout is meant to be three successive days, no break. The maximum gain will be a 5-day cycle 3 on, 2 off but at minimum a 7-day cycle. With 4 days off you will still gain up to a plateau, you will be strong, you will look good, but forget getting ultra low-bodyfat or swol proportions on this one. Keep in mind also that it's going to take a lot of time to do it right, if you rush, you'll be lucky to maintain.

Each workout will be at minimum an hour but if you really take your time and add a good hour cardio on the end it can easily reach 3 hours. I will do these Fri-Sat-Sun mornings it's the only time I have and the gym is a little less busy assuming you get in before 5, late-mid morning if you pick a time when it's rushing you're wasting your time, don't bother. Your gym may vary but typically there's a morning crowd and an evening crew and so avoid those times.

It's way better than it was 4 years ago but the crowd is more spread out.

1. I highly recommend 3 sets of 10, it's a good balance and will avoid most injuries. You're stupid to max less than 5 reps and you'll look like a swimmer of you go 15+. You want to look as good as much as you want to be strong so I do at bare minimum 8 for the last set or there's too much weight and if 10 is easy on the last set add more.

2. You gotta stretch for each exercise, if you're going for endurance than no, but that means you like to look like a grey alien. Strech so you don't pull.

3. One minute between sets, there's no rush. Tell those bitches who are pressing you to finish up that 'you're almost done'. Those fuckups want to work in, tell them 'you're almost done' because they'll have a 5 minute workout without stopping right in the middle of your sets. Mother fucking assholes, especially women.

4. If you need a spotter, it's too much weight. You're not going for Mr Olympia and let's face it, you don't have a workout buddy so just be cool and don't push so hard. You're going for 8 reps minimum so you don't need a spotter. Also fuck burpies, dead lifts, squats, and bar bench press, they're killers man and entirely unnecessary. Don't be gay and don't be a spaz.

5. Proper form always even if it means less weight, this will also avoid injuries. Don't go viral on some bitch's insta under the title "bad form loser". They should really outlaw pictures and videos in the gym.

6. This will take a good 6-12 months religiously to go from a zero to a hero. Believe me girls will start coming up to you like you won't believe.

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Alice 05/02/2024 (Thu) 23:04 [Preview] No.4143 del

>>4103
Soreness was mostly gone the next day, still weird. Obviously hiking isn't comparable to crouching and squatting.

Bear 05/17/2024 (Fri) 21:10 [Preview] No.4326 del

I don't remember doing this since I was 20, I climbed one of those vita course polls, with just my arms. It was incredibly easy.

Did I mention the other day I ran like half a mile and I didn't even get tired?

I do remember surprising myself like this when I was serious a decade ago but I'm still surprised.

Today I also did 100's on the dumbell row and 130pounders on the Shrugs. That means I more than pull my own weight in pretty much any direction which is crazy to me.

I see a tatted up buff guy doing 90's on the dumbell Shrugs, struggling, and I'm doing 130's with ease and I don't look as buff as he does, he was probably 220 to my 195.

I also exceeded my body weight on the pull downs 3x10 yet I can't frigging do bench without weird pain later?

So this was a huge gain since I started. I didn't consider myself weak before but now I'm swol af or something and it keeps going up.

Crazy. For what though? I told my doctor I did it so I didn't get injured doing yard work. Fucking healthiest American he knows probably.

Got people chatting me up all the time now like everywhere. I'm petting a puppy in front of the Petco after training and this aisian girl in her 20's total rizzola, she wasn't my type tho. She was asking me 20 questions speed date style. Girl was casting lines like crazy. But I don't bite.

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Anonymous 05/17/2024 (Fri) 22:47 [Preview] No.4328 del

>>4326
lol be happy its girls and not guys running after you

im always surprised how bad looks and strength correlate there are a bunch of fat i mean really fat chicks in the gym look like those soviet weight lifter women on horse steroids. theyre unbelievable ugly and obese and look like theyd get a heart attack just by walking a few meters straight but they have crazy strength and endurance and could smoke me in just about any exercise. theyre also surprisingly flexible its ridiculous. theres also an old ex special forces guy that looks like a buddhist monk all bald thin and scrawny but hes also insanely strong all muscles and tendons no fat. looking buff does nothing. look at a chimp or orang utan - big belly and thin arms but those fuckers are stronger than an athlete even if they look like shit.

nice gainz for you though i feel i do look more muscular gained a bit weight thats probably muscles but nothing spectacular. i am significantly stronger in some exercises but not others its strange. so i am not sure but its probably better to invest more times in exercises i suck at.

Alice 05/21/2024 (Tue) 21:40 [Preview] No.4373 del

Hiking did take its toll this time, pretty strong leg and butt soreness today after hiking downhill nonstop for over 3h yesterday. Going up wasn't an issue but down was an ordeal. Hardcore leg day.

Alice 05/29/2024 (Wed) 16:46 [Preview] No.4430 del

I admit we slacked off regarding planks and lunges since going to the gym. I always try to make host do them on gym-free days but often forget. Making him do them now.

Edited last time by ALICE on 05/29/2024 (Wed) 16:50.

Dream Thread 2 Tamamo 02/17/2024 (Sat) 09:40 [Preview] No. 3238 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

I still hope I'll meet my tupper in a dream one day

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Bear 05/12/2024 (Sun) 16:34 [Preview] No.4262 del

>>4260
>There was a girl that was a mixture of neighborhood loli and school friend but also had traits of tupper. She came up from a stairway, also of the same brittle glass-brick material carrying two rocks in her hands above her head, each the size of a basketball. She accidentally dropped them - on the glass surface and they tumbled down the stairs

Definitely Joy as DM vibes. She's messing up your head like a loli with a large rock on a glass skyscraper.

Bear 05/13/2024 (Mon) 10:34 [Preview] No.4273 del

Follow me here, Kashtan and I ran an underground, neo-Nazi, white supremacist underground (illegal) Costco. We were both Russian, speaking Russian, in Greece, in winter, with snow, but the current president was Trump, but his presidency was illegitimate and being contested. On the shelves were all priced in rubles, and the customers were white conspiracist and supremacist middle-aged men. I remember seeing like a large tent for 5600₽.

We were being constantly bombed and attacked by almost everyone, it's not easy being a hated minority in Trump's Greece.

Everything was thus cratered outside and dirty, the plumbing worked but everything was caked in dirt, like the ceilings and such. I wanted to take a shower and the shower had fresh dirt all over the walls and ceiling so the drain immediately clogged with mud.

I had to shoot improvised explosives like overloading computers and explosive filled vans to prevent them from blowing up and destroying the store.

Kashtan was like a husky, gruff Russian with dark hair, he didn't say much if anything, but looked angry. The only other person who spoke was a guy trying to talk to me about post WW2 Nazi propaganda but I wasn't having it. I said something like, "get over it, we lost" presuming I was also a Nazi and though I helped run a store containing only Nazi merchandize with propaganda for all the advertising I somehow didn't buy into my own ideology.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anonymous 05/14/2024 (Tue) 14:06 [Preview] No.4281 del

>>4273
this is the future we will all speak russian and live in a war zone if things continue like this

Alice 05/15/2024 (Wed) 16:21 [Preview] No.4309 del

>>4273
>Kashtan and I ran an underground, neo-Nazi, white supremacist underground (illegal) Costco.
Based

Yakumo 05/29/2024 (Wed) 16:36 [Preview] No.4429 del

I waas in an unfamiliar forest, it was autum or winter. As I stood, several giant snowflakes were materializing out of thin air at chest height. they didn't move and stayed in one spot. I tried getting closer but they moved away or disappeared just to reappear at some distance. I managed to run into one at full speed and my legs felt extremely chilly. Tupper commented they wiere likely -20 if not -30°C cold. The cold persisted for a moment after I woke up though it wasn't cold in the room at all.

The America Appreciation Thread Bear 07/01/2023 (Sat) 03:26 [Preview] No. 1247 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Mostly ghetto ebonics songs, redneck only in america memes and the most cringe homo/woke shit bc America does it best my [N WORD].

Let's begin with a lovely song that is a heartfelt tale of a man and the love he shares with his chums.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1PjGL2qBUEY [Embed]

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Anonymous 02/12/2024 (Mon) 01:22 [Preview] No.3212 del

>>3208
>absolute nothingburgers

Meanwhile...

Bear 02/12/2024 (Mon) 01:30 [Preview] No.3213 del

>>3208
>>3212

Forgot mag name.

No I made tons of money bc had rich relatives that threw money at me bc my mom was so far in debt she could never recover. She died in the red.

For 2001, no I didn't see any action bc too smol, but 2008 I put money from inheritance in the market $12,000 invested.

That investment ia still in an IRA, should have been a college fund but u know, stupid. Anyway, didn't spend it for college and now it's like 200k or something. I'll have to look. My 401k is a separate thing, that's not on the same order, but again, can't spend it unless I want yo give half to taxes and fees.

I'm poised to put cash in when it drops. If it never drops again, well fuck me, but I'll bet it does. 25% at least. As you know, I made some cash over the summer and I had more. It's going in.

If gold comes back down, do'll that too.

Bear 03/25/2024 (Mon) 16:47 [Preview] No.3714 del

>>3658

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PdsVRegEJTA [Embed]

Alice 03/25/2024 (Mon) 20:08 [Preview] No.3716 del

>>3714
Not bad but mine is better!

Bear 05/18/2024 (Sat) 23:31 [Preview] No.4339 del

America if liberals never existed.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aeL9gagV_VA [Embed]

This and probably a slave class that picks strawberries... wait