I and Monk woke up on a bus going north east from Lagos after being convinced to join a private militia to slaughter Boko Haram members but found out it was ISWAP and they weren't going to pay us in hashish and concubines so we jumped out of the truck and followed the Benue until we got to Cameroon and were picked up by some Chinese investors looking at tin and bauxite deposits then we had to make a run for it once we got to Dubai on their jet because one of their daughters instagram feed showed her in a SFW pose with us Eiffel Towering her and what looked like a white powder caterpillars on both our Burt Reynolds moustaches once.