>>2810 is right, all you need is a push, a start, something to drive you towards something else than what your life is right now. I'd not recommend pseudo-suicide, but you need some kind of objective to start moving. Do you feel like shit? Change that, make that your objective. If being a parasite makes you feel bad, start helping in the house. Clean the rooms, do the dishes, make everything look neat, fix broken things, mow the lawn, wash the clothes. Start with something small, something that seems like a pain but that can still be done. Try to discipline yourself.