12/15/2022 (Thu) 05:22
Interesting, I look at women as if they are minefields, but certain things I don't see completely relegating to a gendered issue. Women may lean toward certain unhealthy relationship habits more than men, and vice versa. Regarding control specifically, I haven't experienced many women craving control over the relationship. If I encounter that, she likely has other personality issues that lead for the desire to control the man/relationship. I have met many men who crave too much control over the woman, and these men end up unsuccessful because their desire of control is stemmed from intense jealousy and lack of confidence in himself and the relationship. Control is balanced between both partners, and there are limits. I think if the control comes from a place of well intent and genuine love, it will be balanced between two partners and manifest in different ways for the partners. It's not so much "control", but rather, boundaries. Your partner should know and respect reasonable boundaries, there should be no need to control them if the boundaries are reasonable and both partners are respectful. Now the key word here is "reasonable" boundaries.
Many women will test men to see where their boundaries are, to test if he is weak. Women do not find weak pushovers attractive, and if a woman enjoys controlling a man, the man has issues to not stick up for himself. Some women do enjoy complete control over a man, but in my experience a weak man doesn't go far and doesn't produce a happy relationship. I wouldn't say it's commonplace for a woman to desire control over a man in a relationship, but it does happen - for both genders. It is likely more of a personal issue rather than a gendered issue. This is how people end up in emotionally or physically abusive relationships; the person seems normal at first. Slowly the abuser gets comfortable, knows the other is a weak target, and takes abusive actions. Typically, nobody voluntarily goes into an abusive relationship, it takes over slowly.