>>77782
The only goals now I seem to have in life are saving up for an emergency fund, having a job that allows me to pay the bills, feed myself, and have a decent roof over my head, and to travel. Now the traveling goal isn’t a goal where I pursue in to enjoy myself (going to tourist attractions, staying in hotels, and getting the best selfie shots like all other people you see do and to post their travel pictures on social media), but to go to areas around the world where I can observe and learn how other cultures and societies interact and live their lives, regardless if I have fun or not (as that is not the point). It would be nothing more than giving me opportunities to learn and engage in firsthand experience of those societies, its peoples, and cultures, and compare that to the one society I live in, its culture, and find ways to improve it and establish my own way to live life. To give a similarity to what this travel will be, as I interpret it to be, it would be like Lycurgus of Sparta’s travels and return to Sparta, or Peter the Great’s travels to Europe and return to Russia to improve the country. I want to be able to learn from other societies and return to mine to find some way to improve it.

I feel like I’m living in some sort of limbo or a personal hellish dimension of reality, but I’ve grown a strong desire to get out of this hell that has been eating at me for the past few years. I want to fix both my career prospects and finding a noble purpose to live for. Now, I don’t know about the career prospects and I would sure as hell hate the idea going back to school to waste time and money to switch to another career path that I may or may not enjoy, but I can at least focus on the purpose to live for, as I believe if I can solve that, then that will allow me to get back to self-improving, as it will be self-improving towards a noble purpose. If any anons need any clarification of my current situation in order to give me better advice and guidance to improve my situation, I will be more than happy to do so in reply posts. Any advice and wisdom will help, or maybe anything that you have went through to get out of a similar hell. I just want to get out of mine.