>>89959
>Please. Can anyone help me.
Maybe i do not have now solution to the pain you go trough but i maybe can recommend you TRE excersises to manage to fight the stress and mental pain from that misfortune. In my case from work stress to mess of what remianed of my family it helped me a lot to not go full postal

>I need purpose in my life again, this I know.
As someone who lost family relative to covid execution jab i can tell you only this what made me to realize the following
Life and death are companions of each other deep inside you possibly knew that it will come on him and there are certain things one is not able to fight like rare diseases and dissabilities.
Your son possibly still views you as a strong man despite that catastrophe and you still keep him in memories and high esteem and i say if worst of worst would come still have him still as your motivation or as a example idk how its in english simply one of those moments where they wouldnt be happy to see someone sinking himself out of grief