>>6026
>>6025
>I had not heard there was another.” She looked at the table briefly, and a wineglass appeared. ”Appleloosa? Thou has traveled quickly, Fred Soleman. But I meant not the earth ponies, rather mine royal guard.” Fred was still fuzzy headed, so he asked for clarification. ”Korp Moon Shadow was due to arrive at an orientation town for human newfoals. She did not.” She's fine. I know that name. How do I know she's fine?
VS
>”I had not heard there was another.” She looked at the table briefly, and a wineglass appeared. ”Appleloosa? Thou has traveled quickly, Fred Soleman. But I meant not the earth ponies, rather mine royal guard.” Fred was still fuzzy headed, so he asked for clarification. ”Korp Moon Shadow was due to arrive at an orientation-town for human newfoals. She didst not.” She's fine. I know that name. How do I know she's fine?

Didn´t vs didst

I would pick the latter here. Given that you are using thou repeated times, the tone becomes more noticeable. Same goes to wouldst as well.

>”Mayhap that she be not asleep. More likely, that thou'rt too deep and only thy sheer volume of magic allow me this contact. Indeed Fred Soleman, that thou'rt still unlucid shows us my dream magic be limited in scope in the place where thou lay thy head.”
Vs
>”Mayhap it be that she is not asleep. But more likely that thou'rt too deep and only thy sheer volume of magic allow me even this contact. Indeed Fred Soleman, that thou'rt still unlucid proves my dream magic be limited in scope in the place where thou layest thine head.”

thy vs thine

I would use thy here because there is not any vowel which follows that word so thine doesn´t work in this case.