>>8880
>>8880
There are some glaring grammar & spelling problems that I've already corrected, but not in what was exported. Hopefully your eyes won't bleed.
I didn't think it was that bad. It reads like a normal first draft in quality. I like how you already introduced the Gryphons and have built things out.

As for the drama,
>Sometimes anger, sometimes fear showing on her face. “I’ll marry
you.” She said, and let her face loosen up a bit, raising her head just a fraction of an inch closer
to a normal height. “But I want to do it in Wholesol. And to live on a farm. Near my family
While you may not make this the central force this conflict and the drive to find more unicorns is more than enough to carry most of the story if you ask me. You can add villains or threats along the way. I am referring too what you have said here of course:>>8869
>I actually find I like Starry Skies, but right now his adventure is so low-energy.

>>8995
> I just might have put a bit of padding or something first.
Fair.