Been enjoying coming into conflict with things. Occasionally I am attacked in my dreams. This is a great event. Real-world experience. Sometimes I remember myself and I can experiment, see how I can deconstruct the Truth that these invading demons carry. Sometimes I forget myself and have to fall back on my construct's strength. Occasionally it fails, but that's okay because Pain is informative as well.
I think this mindset protects me from the true purpose of the demons' work. They caught me once, threw me into a torture planet. Nothing but cells and screams. I accepted it. I was eager. Somehow this rendered them impotent. They needed me to be afraid, for whatever it was they were doing to work. Enslave me? I could see how a lot of people could fall into that trap.

But I need something solid to work towards, that isn't just dreams. Something that ties in with the Truths I've seen. I haven't been able to find it in this world. I've tried knocking down some of the gods who run this show. It works, I know I'm not impotent here. But it feels pointless. Like kicking an ant hill. No purpose. I can't invest my spirit into this work.