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/kc/ humour thread Bernd 12/15/2019 (Sun) 22:31:19 [Preview] No. 33133 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Cause I didn't find one
54 posts and 29 images omitted.


Bernd 03/05/2020 (Thu) 06:19:37 [Preview] No.34828 del
Tried explaining what a 'blind date' was to a Saudi the other day... when I said I saw the girls face he assumed I meant rape.

On his 18th birthday a Saudi father presents his son with five sex slaves all in burkas. "Son, each of these women are young models but you may only choose one and I will keep the rest." "But dad, they are in burkas, how do I know which one to pick?" "That is the secret of the burka my son, the face does not matter because they all look the same from behind."


Bernd 03/05/2020 (Thu) 22:29:03 [Preview] No.34846 del
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Bernd 03/06/2020 (Fri) 06:42:09 [Preview] No.34849 del
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>>34846
As a riddle (or how are these called) it's bad, but told as a joke it's breddy gud.

>>34827
>ripe
We have a similar based on wordplay.
- What's this?
- A "blue plum" (this is the actual name of the fruit).
- Then why is it red?
- Because it's green.

>>34828
Trying to remember Arab jokes, but can't recall any.


Bernd 03/26/2020 (Thu) 06:46:15 [Preview] No.35441 del
During the communism little Maurice is asked by the teacher:
- Little Maurice, can you tell the class which countries are friendly nations?
- Czechoslovakia, Romania, Poland, East Germany, Bulgaria.
- You forgot the most important, the Soviet Union!
- But the Soviet Union is brotherly nation not friendly.
- Why?
- We can choose our friends...


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 22:10:43 [Preview] No.35590 del
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Do screencaps count for this thread?



Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 04:38:39 [Preview] No. 35519 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Recovered men who had coronavirus but only showed mild symptoms show 50% testosterone reduction, clinical hypogonadism

>The percentage of non-severe cases (mild and common type) included in this study is 88% (72/81)
>Theoretically, any cells expressing ACE2 may be susceptible to SARS-CoV-2 infection. According to the online database The Human
Protein Atlas portal, testes shows the highest expression level of ACE2 protein and
mRNA in the body.Based on scRNA-seq profiling of human testes, Wang ZP et al.
also reported that ACE2 is predominantly enriched in spermatogonia, Leydig and
Sertoli cells.All the findings suggest the potential risk of male gonad to be vulnerable
to SARS-CoV-2 attack.
2 posts omitted.


Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 08:30:19 [Preview] No.35524 del
So the coronavir is a feminist plot to emasculate the patriarchy?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 03:40:18 [Preview] No.35535 del
>>35524
Yep. We're done for
RIP people with benises. We had a good run though

>>35521
This is also true


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 03:40:58 [Preview] No.35536 del
>>35519
On a serious note, do you have a source for your info OP?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 03:51:49 [Preview] No.35537 del
>>35536
>Effect of SARS-CoV-2 infection upon male gonadal function: A single centerbased study
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.03.21.20037267v1.full.pdf


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 22:03:44 [Preview] No.35589 del
>>35537
Okay so don't get sick then bernds



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Bernd 06/13/2019 (Thu) 16:26:01 [Preview] No. 27190 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Wall papers thread?
Please post some pleasant wall papers.
174 posts and 524 images omitted.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 05:44:18 [Preview] No.35565 del
>>35559
Well thanks but I meant if some of that pink stuff were green instead. Liek here >>35473 in the second the grid would look good in shades of green. It's a pain in the ass to change that tho.
Among those you posted the third is ok, wouldn't burn my retina. Maybe the second too.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 21:57:25 [Preview] No.35588 del
>>35587
Last pic

>>35559
W40K is always good. Got any more?

>>35565
>Liek here >>35473 in the second the grid would look good in shades of green

Like this on my second picrel? Worked around a little in gimp and just finished it



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Vidya Thread Bernd 07/31/2019 (Wed) 18:08:06 [Preview] No. 28357 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Since the previous reached bump limit.

Played some moar Atom RPG. I don't really have any coherent text drafted but some impressions, moments and such.

This game is depressing. It's like they extracted all the misery of the Soviet Union, ground it, added a hint mutants and monsters, then crammed it into one misery-sausage. Ofc there are funny lines and situations in there, always when you least expect. And you never expect them because the whole thing is so depressing.
NPC interactions are animated nicely. Heart warming meeting of father and daughter. Then they started to gossip about me.
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Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 17:54:39 [Preview] No.35557 del
>>35556
I want a mech irl.


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 17:55:36 [Preview] No.35558 del
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>>35556
fugged uploading one pic


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 13:23:46 [Preview] No.35571 del
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For an early access game it seems quite complete. There are some issues but most of them are cosmetic, the game could use a polish. Faces can look awful and overall the graphics are dated, but then that's not the charm of the game so I don't actually mind. Only once have I had it crash and that was in a 500vs300 battle where I died and fast forwarded it(a useful new feature), the enemy was defeated but then the game froze and crashed, I was taking this screenshot and saving it on paint so maybe changing between programs had an effect as well.

Overall it's Mound and Blade 2. The only thing that really bothers me so far is the new interaction system and some aspects of the UI. The problem with interactions is that now when you want to talk to somebody it loads them into the game and also in some cases loads you into the city they are in, this all takes time I prefer it to be fluid.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 16:47:26 [Preview] No.35575 del
>>35556
When I played Freelancer a couple of times I installed some mod which centers around multiplayer, tho can be played offline (no story just sandbox, which alone is boring after some exploration) and only played liek that. I read still there are servers with some activity but player numbers are low. I think quite a few online games walk in the same shoe.
>Thankfully I don't have this problem when playing alone.
Thankfully.
>Battletech
Haven't you talked about it once? A Harebrained Schemes game I think. Tho you can talk about it.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 21:36:01 [Preview] No.35584 del
>>35556
That game looks like the tits!

Reminds me of Steel Battalion with its HUEG controller for Xbox. Unsure if bernd has heard of it before



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Blogspot thred Bernd 04/03/2018 (Tue) 14:02:19 [Preview] No. 15577 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
The boiling meat burned itself
I'm not happy of the results. Now the house smells like shit and the meat will be given to the dogs.
Good thing is, when going to the meatshop to buy steaks (because the thing that was boiling got its water evaporated), my complete overboard thinking on the ruined meal allowed me to talk to a nice looking girl.
But still, the meat is completely ruined. My mother was supposed to eat that.
Talk here about ocurrances in your life, good, bad and memetic
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Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 13:11:41 [Preview] No.35546 del
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>>35542
Time to call a professional. BO where are you when you are needed?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 14:58:53 [Preview] No.35550 del
>>35542
If you flushed and nothing happened then you're probably ok. Next time don't put things in toilet that don't belong there. What the hell even is a water jar?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 16:05:58 [Preview] No.35553 del
>>35550
>What the hell even is a water jar?
A pitcher maybe or a water balloon? Or a simple glass jar?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 16:19:05 [Preview] No.35554 del
>>35553
a simple metal jug, with water in it
sleep depravation got the best of me, at least it's not as bad as the time I threw a yoghurt container down the toilet


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 21:34:31 [Preview] No.35583 del
>>35538
>Fucking daylight saving is killing me
RIP bernd

>>35554
>>35554
>I threw a yoghurt container down the toilet

y though? Why did you do that lol?



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Co󠠭ro󠠭navirus thread Bernd 02/24/2020 (Mon) 02:42:47 [Preview] No. 34603 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
May as well make o󠠭ne here since the servers o󠠭n vierkanal get shutdo󠠭wn so󠠭metimes
Latest develo󠠭pments have included:
>150 infected in Italy
>200 infected in Wo󠠭rst Ko󠠭rea, so󠠭me cultists fro󠠭m there (20) went to󠠭 Israel and spread it there
>100 in Iran, mo󠠭re abrupt cases o󠠭f death there (aro󠠭und 20)
In o󠠭ther news, China claims everything go󠠭es dandy, but things may be different. Russia as always is managing things better clo󠠭sing the chinese bo󠠭rder and raiding the chinese that are living there.
384 posts and 100 images omitted.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 14:20:39 [Preview] No.35574 del
>>35529
Also found source for the ambulance doing tests with blood from finger.
Both article was on the governmental website designed and designated to publish news related to the epidemic. They are in Hungarian as usual but for the sake of documenting here:
https://koronavirus.gov.hu/cikkek/senkit-nem-hagyunk-magara
https://koronavirus.gov.hu/cikkek/orszagos-tisztifoorvos-kijarasi-korlatozas-be-fogja-valtani-remenyeket
Both dated to the 30th.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 17:39:46 [Preview] No.35576 del
Hah, engineers are getting sick so we are being told to expect blackouts.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 17:55:03 [Preview] No.35577 del
>>35576
I don't get it. How?
With a population of 67 million how many electricians you have? 100?
Besides most corona cases doing fine, these can work. They can be quarantined in generator rooms or wherever with a bunch of spare circuit breakers and wiring and spanners, and they can do their job if needed.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 19:07:22 [Preview] No.35580 del
>>35577
>I don't get it. How?
Basically, we switched to renewable energy source, men with stronk legs run in wheels to turn generator.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 19:12:40 [Preview] No.35582 del
>>35580
Sounds efficient. You just add bangers and mash and they can go on all day.



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Films, tv-shows and related media Bernd 01/01/2020 (Wed) 18:08:25 [Preview] No. 33703 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
The previous thread is at 499 posts, on the brink of autosage. So I open up a new one, because I have a thing to discuss as well with Bernd. But first thing first.

Finally I wanna watch these in their entirety, a series of Japanese films from the 70s The Yakuza Papers or Battles Without Honor And Humanity - which is also the title of the very first one.
I think the first five (what I'm planning on consuming) cover one full story, based on an OG yak's memoirs, published in a newspaper first. Then they made another three in the 70s, all standalone, and three more, two of them in this millennia.
They are in a certain subgenre of yakuza movies, which were fresh breeze at that time with their more realistic narrative and breakup with the "honorable samurai" romanticism of the previous era. They are also filmed in a documentary style, with handheld shaky cameras, and sometimes they even timestamp certain events as the movie plays - as far as I can tell based on the first one which I seen (but will rewatch).
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Bernd 03/25/2020 (Wed) 09:47:01 [Preview] No.35411 del
>>35393
>>35393
become srs pls


Bernd 03/25/2020 (Wed) 13:20:58 [Preview] No.35417 del
>>35411
They have their own haplogroup like Genghisids.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 18:13:51 [Preview] No.35578 del
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Movie night on the 4th Bernd!
Shanghai Noon or Outbreak. We're gonna vote or sumtin.
I dunno the precise date tho. This summertime confused me a tad bit.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 19:03:50 [Preview] No.35579 del
>>35578
>Shanghai Noon
Nah, it's a kids film. Outbreak looks good though and I like Dustin Ovenman, something very soothing about his voice.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 19:10:39 [Preview] No.35581 del
>>35579
I wanted to add a genre appropriate movie for the epidemic. I found enough for every movie corner till next year...
>kids film
There may be Australians during the night. Not tho likely I think it will start 22:00 CES (that's 20:00 Small Island Standard Time), but that's early for them 6-7 am or something.



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Bernd 02/24/2020 (Mon) 06:00:06 [Preview] No. 34605 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
I wanted to make a more serious thread about a very concerning topic regarding kohl and hope that someone can assist me or I can assist them.

I browse kohl's /int/ board sporadically and lurk threads for regular assberger things - plants, bugs, Ukrainian vs Russian threads, etc

I've noticed that every time I go, my browser cache(I use Firefox) gets bigger but I can't get rid of it. It only happens when I visit that site. So I went there a few years ago to see a very innocuous thread about blimps. Nothing really too interesting. After I closed it, my cache increased by 1mb in my computer.

There is no way I can get rid of it. Wanted to ask if bernds also had this issue
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Bernd 03/21/2020 (Sat) 07:12:04 [Preview] No.35344 del
>>35339
Ok. You can verify what's causing it buy removing all add-ons, then installing-testing-uninstalling them one by one. If you are curious.


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 10:51:54 [Preview] No.35543 del
So in light of the recent panicking due to (you know what), I've been seeing a lot of panicking about technology and spyware. What have you been doing to stay private?
More specifically; how do you cope with the Intel ME? Nowadays most people who lurk /tech/ should know about the "ME cleaner" but did you know that on relatively recent motherboards, it was possible to disable the ME by adjusting the RAM slots?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 19:34:07 [Preview] No.35560 del
>>35543
>Intel
It's don't. On me the Chinese are spying not the Jews.
I rarely lurk /tech/ I don't have tiem.
How do you adjust RAM slots?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 20:56:00 [Preview] No.35564 del
>>35560
If I remember correctly, for Skylake CPUs it was possible to put both RAM slots in different coloured slots, and apparently the ME wouldn't activate because of that.


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 05:47:36 [Preview] No.35566 del
>>35564
You mean if the mobo has four slots, than placing a pair of ram sticks in slots with different colors then it will do the thing?
I think the color code is for pairing the channels, sticks can work together efficiently only if they are slotted in A or B channel, but not A and B.



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Webm thread Bernd 06/26/2018 (Tue) 07:02:33 [Preview] No. 17541 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Because old thread is resting in peace
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Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 21:18:30 [Preview] No.35532 del
>>35530
33 is the freemason/jew's favourite number, it's up there with 47 and 666.


Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 22:41:25 [Preview] No.35533 del


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 05:57:23 [Preview] No.35539 del
>>35533
Not bad. Performer?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 09:04:54 [Preview] No.35541 del
>>35539
Nancy Danino
End credits theme for the movie Tokyo Eyes (1998)

Another track.


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 13:09:45 [Preview] No.35545 del
>>35541
Thanks. Her voice isn't the greatest judging by that one sample but kinda I dunno... gentle in that song. Probably will listen what she can sing.

>>35541
Too electronic for my taste, btw we have a music thread if you are interested.



THE NEWS Bernd 06/30/2019 (Sun) 11:52:12 [Preview] No. 27730 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Old one reached pmub limit.

Btw old. Instead of some news here's some olds, a bunch of photos found by a dumpster in BP - they were digitalized and uploaded to Fortepan (http://fortepan.hu/) I already mentioned in previous news threads.
https://index.hu/fortepan/2019/06/30/amerikai_fotok_alkotas_ut_kuka_dr_haas_lajos/
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Bernd 03/18/2020 (Wed) 13:03:17 [Preview] No.35257 del
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And up it goes.


Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 08:44:40 [Preview] No.35525 del
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US Marine corps is getting rid of their tanks as well as cutting back on artillery and other things.

https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2020/03/23/the-corps-is-axing-all-of-its-tank-battalions-and-cutting-grunt-units/


Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 15:30:25 [Preview] No.35526 del
>>35525
How the article starts it feels as if they were just slimming down the Corps to spare some money. But it seems they are going to be more electronic. Well they have to spend that budget somehow.
>specifically against China


Bernd 03/29/2020 (Sun) 21:16:24 [Preview] No.35531 del
>>35525
To be honest I liek this article was linked here, not just because it is interesting to see how military theory and preparation changes, but it breaks the monotony of the corona topic.
Which makes us forget some ongoing events of the world.
- American presidential election
- Brexit
- Cilmate change
- Hong-Kong protests
- Migrant crisis
- Syria
- Venezuela
What else? What would Bernd add?

I saw some news snippets that how the air cleared over China and Italy, and Budapest's air pollution level fell to it's third. I wonder how it effects this climate change question. I remember Greta's opinion, that everything has to be shut down to save Earth and yaddy-yaddy-yadda. Also the weather behaves curiously, mild 15-20 degrees we have here than it falls down to 10 and minuses during the night, goes like this a few days, then returns the mild weather, snowing a little but too, which is perfectly fine for March, even for early April. Last year it was mild weather in February and by April it was warm. 2018 was similar. Read some ironic comments how this epidemic fixes the weather. Could be this simple? Could the constant running of factories and traffic influence the weather without actually changing the climate and a pause in it let it return back to normal?


Bernd 03/30/2020 (Mon) 07:55:18 [Preview] No.35540 del
>>35531
Yes, it is getting tiresome, and they say we have six more months of this.

As for more things that are happening, it looks like the Libyan war is still trudging onwards, but interestingly the GNA is taking ground now. Also of interest, a French ship turned back a Turkish one that was believed to be intending to supply the GNA.