This board dead

Why does God keep bullying me. Literally everything I fucking do goes wrong in a way that's beyond mere coincidence or even luck? It's not fair, wtf did I ever do to him to deserve this? There are people literally conspiring to bring unimaginable suffering to mankind for their own benefit and sadistic pleasure, why couldn't he punish them? Why me of all people? I'm starting to think He's just doing this to me to make me hate Him so He can punish me further? Either that or He's letting some powerful entity do this to me. Why me?

What were the chances i was born as a human? Seriously, i could have been a dog, a bat or a simple fly, but somehow by chance, i was brought into existence as a Homo Sapien given the gift of bittersweet self awareness, life itself is an amazing phenomenon already but life that is able question its own existence and feel all these terrible yet beautiful emotions with just nothing but chemical reactions and electrical firing currents of neurons is on a whole other level, it is no wonder that people believe that there is a higher and deeper structure to the Human consciousness, that this is no random process and that we were destined, chosen and created by some higher being. And to add to another layer of chance and luck i was born in the UK, a first world country, where starvation and war are foreign concepts, i could have been some poor Negro bastard in Africa, An Arab in the middle east, or a poor Asian slaving away in the sweatshops, but i was born here, sure things are still not perfect, this place still has many flaws, dead end 9-5 jobs are common and people lay on their death beads with regrets, that life no longer holds meaning, but it is not as much of a Hell as the others, at least for the time being, and to add yet another layer of chance/luck, i was born into an era where technology and science is advancing at an astonishing rate and Human suffering, at least at the material level, is becoming less and less, although we are facing the challenges of depression and suicide due to the lack of meaning to life now, it is the mental suffering that will plague us in this new era for the time being, but even then it is still an amazing time to be alive, i could have been born a peasant in the middle ages, dying at 30, or even a cave man where every day is a struggle, where i would have had to risk my life constantly just to get a meal to stay alive and keep experiencing.

It is just, an amazing feeling, it is so surreal at times.