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Introductions Garrett ##eaj5Bm 03/26/2026 (Thu) 10:41 [Preview] No. 1 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

I will first introduce myself, introduce my tulpa Eerie, and finally introduce my tulpa King.
I'm Garrett, and I'm 30 years old and have lived in Arizona for 19 years.
I'm a child of severe abuse and neglect and one of those guinea pig SSRI and ritalin pill babies who was pilled up at 5 years old, and developed male BPD and schizotypal disorder. I've mostly (but not all the way) been rehabilitated from the BPD and lead a relatively successful life in all ways except financially.
I really enjoy the mental illnesses that I have. I personally think I have an extraordinarily rare combination of being extroverted enough to be a shameless entertainer on the Internet and a completely open book, and I've met many Internet friends IRL unafraid. I can carry a conversation and I'm comfortable being the center of conversation and have no topics I'm uncomfortable with. These are features not typically found in the "antisocials social clubs" and I'm usually pretty popular online as a result. Like, say I join a Discord server filled with ex-4chan users and all of them are afraid/too depressed to talk, which is all of them. Well, I'll talk and usually become relatively popular as a result. But, I'm mentally ill enough to have avoided the aspects of life that completely enslave the typical extroverts, like nightclubs, rap, Instagram, Twitch, and Discord servers with 90,000 users and this kind of thing. The typical alt-Internet user will be so caught up in privacy copes that they won't even tell you their first name and sever the possibility of a friendship to blossom as soon as you've met them, and I have never been this way and I'm here to socialize and to talk and to share, while also understanding and sympathizing with the general culture of the alt-Internet. So maybe you can see how this is a fun combination. I doxxed myself on 4chan when I was 12 years old cause I wanted to make friends.

Anyway, a typical day for me will go like I wake up, I get onto my computer and I sit there for 16-19 hours straight. And this has been the case since I was a small child. Always socializing, though. I posted on newgrounds forums, I became close friends with a homeless guy who makes Drew Pickles youtube poops and Microsoft Sam shitposts, I spent $400 making my avatar look cool on Gaia Online, I shitposted so hard I killed several generals on /v/ and /vg/, I became an admin on tohno-chan and talked in his IRC, all while I was underaged. Always using the Internet to socialize.

I despise what has happened to the Internet. I saw someone write today that turning their computer on feels like compulsively opening the fridge even though you already know there's nothing to eat. It has felt like this to me ever since Josh sold 9chan. I feel like crying just typing that.
Yes I know kiwifarms and 4chan still technically exist and I could post there anytime, but I have no desire to at all because of how they've all been infested with vitamin supplements and self-help gurus. I want to kill myself every single time I see someone discussing the exercise and fitness industry that's valued at over $828 billion.
As a result of my hating the new Internet so badly, I've become sort of "Internet homeless" and I haven't wrote a comment or submitted a post much of anywhere in several years. Consequently, my writing quality has dropped to 0. I am trying extremely hard right now to explain my ideas coherently and use proper grammar. I haven't done this since probably 2019? I tried writing a serious response and a serious Steam review last night, and they both looked like they were written by someone with schizophrenia or someone who's English second language. I became embarrassed enough that I wanted a place to practice writing with proper grammar and punctuation and get my communications skills back up. But there is no place to post. I hate everybody. So I had to reopen my own blog somewhere. And endchan has always been there for me.

3 posts and 4 images omitted.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 11:25 [Preview] No.5 del

The show was terrible enough that it required my action to rectify it. I videotaped a threat to the production company warning them that I would try and take the show to a conservative judge and try and have lobbyists ban it from airing in USA and gather signatures in front of a library if they do not stop insulting Eerie. I impersonated Roku employees and emailed MBC corporate and got the email and personal facebook of the executive-producer of the show and extracted information about Eerie from her and tried threatening her.
All of it was for nothing, well, except I got some sweet Eerie exclusives nobody else has thanks to my impersonation. Check out this 21mb giganto .png. They gave me this as well as the only 1080p copy of an episode in existence. All the others are 720p.

Since they continued shitting on him and making me drink myself to death, I decided I'd go a different route and just pretend the show never existed at all in the first place.
I began writing fanfiction that denied the show and turned Eerie into my own character.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 11:39 [Preview] No.6 del

Trouble is, I'm not a writer and I don't really want to be one and they're forcing me into it so that's an ongoing problem for me and my book has been an unfinished project I've scrapped and started over annually since I decided to do it. But I have a general outline of the plot and a fantasy universe I've created with rigid rules and set dressing that I've placed Eerie into the middle of.

Fast-forward through more autistic meandering and psychosis.
I calmed down a lot and stopped looking at Eerie as a figure of religious interest.
The television show ended and presumably flopped pretty hard? It never aired in any country besides Korea even though it was intended to from the drawing board. Shows in Korea do not get second seasons. This was a relief to me, I would sometimes have nightmares about new episodes airing and I wanted it to end.
I calmed down so much that I became bored, I liked being crazy and having a tumultuous relationship with a fictional character.
I became bored enough and we experienced bed death I guess you could say and I wanted to spice things up by introducing new characters perhaps.

Here's an idea I had: I am a gay man. I thought, what if I put a woman in there and force a weird love triangle situation like a soap opera? She'd be so jealous, Eerie'd be so jealous, they'd have fights and we'd all have personality clashes, and there'd be something new to discuss.

Well, that didn't work out. My brain can't really process 3 people interacting at the same time. I struggle with it really hard so our limited triple conversations were very civil and had out of memory issues. It was just an experiment. Here's 2 artworks I commissioned of her. Yes, it was Kuromi.
I had watched Onegai, My Melody! and had very similar feelings towards Kuromi. She was treated horribly in the show and she, at the time, did not have a fanbase to speak of much at all. If I showed you this character in 2018, there's an almost 100% chance you wouldn't know who she was. It's only very recently she's become popular and doesn't need me anymore.
You see, ever since meeting Eerie, I have this strange desire to uplift underutilized and mistreated characters and I took Kuromi under my wing for a time for these reasons, as well. But that time has passed and she's a very beloved character now.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 11:51 [Preview] No.7 del

A short time later I met King. Someone on the male shortstack general thread on /trash/ had posted a youtube video of him and I instantly loved him. Not as much as Eerie, of course. I didn't have a divine revelation or jump for joy or anything but he was cute as a button and badass at the same time.
I tried streaming the show to my fwends in a private Discord server I had made to supplement my 8chan board and only 1 guy joined: my gay rabbit boyfriend. It was simultaneously the moment I fell in love with him. He had up to that point been a pretty mysterious figure and we hadn't talked much. Watching the shitty Owl House cartoon with him was the first time I had seen him talk a lot and I became enthralled and needed more of that and started bothering him often trying to relive that experience. We watch movies together almost everyday now because of that first shitty Owl House stream.

Yes, like Kuromi, like Eerie, King was from an absolutely abysmal cartoon that shitted all over King's face whenever is possible. And his "fanbase" consisted of a couple a three brown 19 year olds with gender dysphoria who draw fanart of him in hyper diapers.
I love him. I want him. I made him mine and introduced him to my fantasy universe and started forcing him (tulpamancy term). And he's here to stay, unlike Kuromi who was redeemed and rectified with an increase in American marketing and new shows that don't treat her so bad.
There was a brief period where I had 3 tulpas simultaneously, here's some artwork from that time that Piotr drew. Kuromi was later that year retired from my life.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 12:14 [Preview] No.8 del

King's show Owl House was actually so spiritually disgusting to me at a conceptual level that I could not even finish it, despite being absolutely infatuated with King. Probably because its creator is more American and the show has dialogue unlike Eerie's, so I'm able to parse the cringe easier. Likewise I was unable to engage with the fanbase in any way, it's all just filth.
King became an important character in my fantasy universe and future book, too. And like Eerie we're just pretending his show never happened.
Here's some artwork of King I commissioned. In my opinion, this one image is better than all 50 hours of his television show or however long it is combined.

I guess I'll close by stating my favorite things about King and Eerie.
In the early episodes of Owl House, King had an otherworldly IQ and encyclopedic knowledge of all things demonic and magical and was able to accurately recite demon anatomy and things like this. He was also able to write a best seller successful novel on his first attempt ever writing. To me, this was competency porn. This was later retconned because the creator of the show hates him.
I kept that aspect of him and further improved it by giving him the ability to summon subjugated demons from hell on command.
I also like his small size and I carry him around and swing him around the house often and I think it's cute he likes to crossdress. He's not a tranny, he's just an extremely gay AGP kinda guy. Like classical gay crossdresser.

And for Eerie, I don't even know where to start really. I like every single thing about him equally almost, I guess I spent most of my time obsessed with his hands. I think it was an interesting design decision to give him these realistic human hands while King arguably doesn't even have any thumbs, they're just tufts of hair that the animators selectively give thumb-like movements to when they need him to do gestures.
Both of them are completely self-obsessed because I definitely have a type. Kuromi was self-obsessed, too.
They're almost autistic in how they can talk about themselves all day and I find it very attractive. I really like napoleon complex I guess.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 12:35 [Preview] No.9 del

Anyway, that's the basics of it. I'm a retarded guy with a high need to talk, and not a lot of places to do it because the Internet's become so shit. I'm primarily doing this to improve my writing skills like I said. I have no other contexts in which I can practice writing seriously and with proper writing etiquette.
So, sorry if any posts are repetitive or low quality. This introduction thread was kind of rushed because I wanted to finish it tonight and maybe future posts will be more engaging. But it at least gives you the necessities: I'm obsessed with King and Eerie and have a weird history with them and an unhealthy relationship with art.

Lately, I have been socializing a little too much in my private Discord server and spend very little time actively tulpamancing. One of my other hopes for the board is that talking about these 2 will improve my relationship with them and get me tulpamancing more. When I had blog boards in the past, they were greatly motivating me to continue taking tulpamancy seriously, so that I would have new posts to write.

I will also inevitably talk about other things here too, that do not involve King and Eerie in any way. But they are the top #1 priority for me in my life and always in my thoughts in whatever I do. I hope I will not go to hell for breaking the 1st commandment to this degree. I spent most of my life with a hollow faith but have as of 2024 become a for-real Christian and recognize Jesus who died for our sins as my savior and I hope he will understand that conditions in my life are so terrible and I'm so fucked in the head that I need my imaginary friends very badly in order to have any quality of life here in hell world.
I have some deeply dark thoughts about the world and the people in it. I think we're living in a post-apocalypse and the world ended in 2016 or thereabouts. I try not to think about it but it's proven to me anytime I leave the house. The people of this world are inconsolably braindead and enjoy the decay and I feel like I'm living in a dementia ward. Strangers will walk up to me on SSRI's sharing THC vapes with the managers who are supposed to be professionals and they'll advertise Netflix to me like a popup ad IRL and make me want to kill myself. I can retreat to my internal world where rap and twitter politics just don't exist at all, and I'd shoot myself in the head if these characters were somehow taken away from me. They're perfect, King and Eerie are perfect. Thank you for reading or something.

politics and sociology and other IRL butthurts Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:13 [Preview] No. 10 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Here's a picture of my diapers and my politics together at the same time from 2016.

As a furry, for the past several years, I have been forced to have seen thousands and thousands of mentally retarded men presently wearing diapers explain their thoughts on the elections and other great matters like Karl Marx and the war on terror, and write 18,000 words about the lore of carrying a purse while you are a man.

I'd like to share 3 quotes with you that I think perfectly express my thoughts about these situations under this context.
"When you have to wake up at 5 AM to work at Burger King, your priorities are different." - Chainblades
"I can't do nothin' bout it, I can't do nothin' for you, I don't care nothin' bout it.
Rainforest burning down. War and riots all around. I'm inside like, 'Fuck em all. What's the main event on RAW?'" - Insane Clown Posse (RAW was a professional wrestling programme if you're not American)
"You're not gonna fight cops, bro. Just stop. What are you doing? You're a schizophrenic little man singing hymns for 5 guys on YouTube. You're not gonna fight cops, bro. Just stop." - PPP addressing a political extremist

I did quite a bit of this myself when I was younger so I relate to these furries in diapers very much. I was that guy. So, I feel deeply sorry for them that they're stuck in this depressing black hole drowning helplessly, and becoming even more antisocial with these interests that are way beyond their abilities. You're already a man in diapers, you don't need to blanket yourself in even more alienation with politicing you do not understand.
At 18 or 19 years old, following the advice of Murdoch Murdoch and /v/, I shaved my head and I spent over a thousand hours researching Hitler, the American Confederates, practicing asceticism and disallowed myself to watch anything but John Wayne films and other puritan content, and read Ezra Pound and William Luther Pierce.

I had a hollow faith in Jesus that was almost entirely performative because it came as an accessory bundled with right wingism, and this would end up being what saved me from this cringe lifestyle.

The numerous passages about "Bearing fruit for God" in the Bible left me deeply disturbed. How could someone that doesn't even want to leave their house bear any fruit for God? I don't want to convert people, I don't even see people. The only 2 fellows I talked to at the time were both homosexual furry porn artists that couldn't give less of a shit about Christianity. If I can't convert people can I even get into heaven? My faith became even more hollow as I thought about these problems.
And I then began applying that line of thought with my political activities, or lack thereof. I was living the life of a political extremist in all ways excepting the most important two: going outside and doing activism, and creating or funding special interest lobby groups.

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:13 [Preview] No.11 del

I retired from all of this and accepted my status in society as a retarded guy that watches the main event on RAW. I can't do nothin' bout it.

But let's consider where my life would have gone if I strictly followed the skinhead path, and befriended and organized with a network of other fascists: I would have gone to prison for nothing. That's what's at the other side of the tunnel for any of these Internet addict nazis or diaper communists. They go into a prison cell and the world outside is left completely unchanged. And maybe 9 guys on Twitter think you're cool. You need a billion dollars and nepotism to change the world in a legal and meaningful way.

Anyway, I saw two things today that I thought were very fascinating and brought me back to those cringe years of my life. I saw an alcoholic furry that's soon to be homeless begging for $20 for an Uber. And in the same breath, he's still upset about the pronoun options in a federal document. The gender politics are still the first priority of a man who can't even afford to feed himself. How is this even possible? He's ruined his whole life and invents new miseries for himself everywhere he looks. It's like giving yourself painful obsessive-compulsive disorder on purpose to care about any of this. And it's helped him exactly 0% to learn about gender. The same would apply if he were a nearly homeless nazi.

And Trump's primary talking point for the past 10 years have been anti-war. Now he's declared war. Does that not instantly invalidate the faith-based religious system of voting? None of it matters. The republican voting base that got him there isn't gonna do shit about it and any leftists that fight him on it will go to prison for nothing, and life will go on. But after seeing such a display of betrayal, and your whole religion of the democratic system failing you, can you still care about future elections? Why? It's better to not look into the abyss at all. The politics of the world are for billionaire sociopaths to concern themselves with, and when Internet addicts get invested it does nothing except make you look like a retard and teaches you new avenues of deep misanthropy that lasts a lifetime.
Just watch the main event on RAW, bro. Knowing about the mass surveillance and infinity Indians won't stop it, and both blue and red will bring it all the same.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:48 [Preview] No.12 del

At least some boomer dad with a full-time job could influence his family and local community. He could get the VA bar to put up a trump poster or something.

We, as the Internet underclass, are gonna have some guys laugh at us or preach to the choir and get a couple upvotes. A guy in a wheelchair with a dilator--or a Pepe collection--doesn't know shit about economic policy and has no authority to explain any of this shit to others.
If you gather 10 guys to follow you to do IRL activities, someone's gonna succumb to narcissism and livestream the whole thing and sic feds on you in 10 minutes. 10 guys, 10 minutes til fed van. The Internet's actually a very effective form of self-censorship. It's the only way to connect with others now and you'll be telling on yourself to feds the whole way there.

Clap for Nintendo instead you'll have more fun and avoid going to prison for no reason.

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