August not normal. And Bertacek has him god damnit

Emil dabbing on the rainlets with short sleeves no gloves

decathlon domestiques were bloody useless today

>>78034
>never heard of it
there is more Bert

I would have made a new thread in honor of the broken curse, but it's not definitive yet.

The French curse caster really tried his best with this stage

>>78046
It is. If Johannessen was with August maybe but he must be dead himself

>>78040
>2024 roubaix
This season was such a strange campaign. This is what it would look like if grug or pogi weren't there. Just 60km solo each race, no worries

August is the new Seixas

Tejada? Where in the fuck did he come from then

wet as fuck out there

Whew escaped the old thread in record time

>>78048
Everyone is dead it seems

>>78051
surely that's not him

>>78051
It is Champoussin

>>78054
August put 1 minute on everyone

august ANDREW

For real though, Verstrynge getting me cold

Why is Rog dropped with no logged time?
Is he chilling in a cafe?

>>78059
not like those water logged clothes keep you warm anymore

/cyc/ bullied this man so hard he got doped to the gills.

>>78055
>>78056
Who knows, even Fisher-Black who is not in the race can show up somehow

>>78056
the live GC is showing him now too, probably waited a lap like many others today

I didn't even know that AJ is a small guy I thought he was the usual 185++ cm ineos anglo

Would be funny if he went the wrong way hehe

good win

https://youtube.com/watch?v=iO6OvHxD_m8 [Embed]

UCI points for Picnic!!!

hope Tobias takes 2nd gc after this

Uno-x kwab of the day

>>78072
What? They got Johannessen on the podium out of nowhere

>>78072
Johannessen is going to go from 11th to podium

>>78072
lol what? they're the biggest winner
bora is the kwab of the day

random trio of UAE shitters

Alpecin dominating the final stage of Itzulia, just as expected

Yeah that's Champoussin

I hate it when commentors start a huge rant about the winner but they have to make it go until he crosses the line. Feels so fucking stupid

Filippo FIORELLI all of the sudden.

>>78016
Dinner for today.
>>78017
4 out of 5 times I order a spicier pizza. This is the one (1) every five (5) I don't.
>>78020
>>78021
Indeed it was Mirinda.
>>78034
Fenk you, it was nice, but wonder how will my gut react to sudden bomb of yeat pie carbs and gluten.

Lipo keeps 2nd I think

>>78080
kirby started his rant 2 hours ago

love the 'stache on that old guy

>>78082
shame

Nice work EF. Baudin nowhere to be found anymore

>>78082
Just barely

>>78082
if the norge sprinted at the end he would've gotten 2nd

>>78082
Now it's over, german media will hype him into oblivion.

Ehhh fair enough.
In my mind stage win > gc podium.
But it's uno x so I guess that's a success for them

You now remember UIJTDEBROEKS

what an absolutely bonkers top 10

>>78088
he tried, was totally dead it looked like, but those 3 seconds will haunt him

I have absolutely no one anywhere close to a top 15/20 except for seixas.
This is my worst stage race to date

>>78088
He was completely dead probably

>>78089
As they should.
>>78090
Johannessen can't win. He's a Kelderman/Kruijswijk type rider who can only do 2-10 placements. This is a good result for him.

>>78093
alternatively he could have tried for some bonus seconds on the hills
but hindsight is 20/20 so whatever, nice raid by him respect

>>78095
You did not pick Izagirre?? Did you miss GP Indurain

>>78095
I have 44 velopoints that DNF'd and gave me nothing

I wonder where Roglic is (he himself too probably)

Bilbo ready to retire right this second

>>78086
kek he lost 4 GC spots

Search and Rescue is being mounted for one Primoz ROGLIC

>>78104
maybe unironically

HEIL SEIXAS

Heh my boy Glivar 4th.
Maybe he has a future as a breakaway merchant.

Vauquelingod top 10 in GC after all

Lol that was Roglic. At least he is still alive

I think +24 minutes or something

Time to play this quiz one more time now that the list is complete and the curse is broken
www.sporcle.com/games/Bert_van_Koers/uci-world-tour-gc-winners-since-last-french-victory

why did Bardet or Pinot never win a WT stage race during their peaks? a bit shameful

>>78113
they were nowhere as good

>>78113
They had decency

>>78115
totally, but they probably had the ability to against the field back then

>>78118
yes well we usually drink pure orange juice here, not nasty soda

I am very curious about Greek Fanta now. Never been in Greece

>>78119
Somehow I do not think this is true my Bert

>>78122
I'm saying we drink actual orange juice WAY more than orange fanta, I know burgers drink tons of soda in general

>>78117
Eh, Sky was hoovering up stage races in that era with Froome, Porte, G and so on. Then they also had to compete with guys like Contador, Quintana, Valverde and Nibali who were always a level or two above. Then guys like Pogacar and Roglic came along in the latter part of their careers.
Pinot was so close in the Dauphine in 2020, but that was only because everyone else DNF'ed.

>>78112
some of those tour de pologne winners are brutal

This very Pais Vasco was probably the last time I ever picked ROGLIC in velodrama

>>78121
He has this half chad half autistic aura about him. Changes from your pinot/bardet

>>78126
Still one more giro to pick landismo and then it's over

>>78128
Bertrand...

>>78129
I believe

>>78127
Just being tall is half the battle.

>>78127
>pinot/bardet
pure chads, tbh

>>78125
The races outside Europe are tough too. Nobody knows who won TDU in 2011.

>>78134
I do

I can't believe the curse is over
No other non guest nation is even close so it kinda feels numb to pick a successor

The size of those tires

>>78138
he's going to win

Weather in north Francija tomorrow?
Bone dry I'm assuming?

>>78140
And tailwind, see >>78139

>>78141
Lame. Can't have nice things.

>>78138
35mm front, 32mm rear for whatever reason

Full stage results are in now and half the peloton didn't finish the race.

>making chatgpt work 5 minutes to get me wind per sector for velogoombling purposes
Trully the futur of mankind is here

There go my fucking KOM points for Bou god damnit

>>78146
>Veistroffer
Heh.. Baptistebros..

>>78148
10 whole points. I've been properly bamboozled.

Tudor finished with only 1 runner

>>78150
lidl too

>>78138
Really wonder what the difference between this and your average bertacek bike is (probably less squeaking)

Picnic Postnl with 25 UCI points today from Frank VDB! Sadly Roojai got 400 points yesterday from the Oceanian championship so their battle with CT teams is not going well

>>78152
your back would hurt a lot on that bike

>>78147
FUCK

>ROGLIC 16th overall
at least there's still GC points for that

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0rvNKnp4KmY [Embed]
Grosso reco. Grug already planning out his attack

Considering doing the most boring thing for this velodrama again but tailwind tells me grug and pogi are guarenteed 1&2

>>78158
I got Segaert instead of Hoole but ye that's my team too

>>78158
Mick will be the better dyke

>>78159
Roubaix is a lottery anyway

>>78157
>that scream on arenberg
I felt that

What about Bissegger

>>78152
no play in the pedals

>>78163
anything between 12 and 24 points is basically unpickable

>>78166
Both vermeesch are good picks

>>78167
if you're going pogi and grug it doesn't work though
when you go grug pedersen you can pick one

picking Frits BIESTERBOS

>>78170
one day you'll have to face the reality that these things gotta go and that the power2max purchase will be the best purchase you'll ever make

Anyway, BIG czech day down in Asia Minor with young superstar Tomas PRIDAL humbling home star Serdar Only DOPE of Spor Toto Team
Zwift legend TEUGELS 4th, LEFEVRE 52nd

>>78171
I actually wrote on Assioma support couple days ago hoping to get to a point they offer me a discount on the new ones
If no discount, then those spider based PM will be looked into

I saw the first caravan with orange license plates of the season. They are coming...

>>78099
I did not

>>78174
Praying for you bert

>>78174
drums in the deep...

>>78174
its SO over

I'm actually rooting for a mads/ganna win tomorrow, but it won't happen

>>78179
May just as well root for a Frits Biesterbos win

>>78180
the BEASTERBOSS is inevitable

I'm rooting for Daan Hoole

For me it's Bastien TRONCHON. Dude looked like vdp in tro-bro last year but he's been a fraud since then

>>78183
He went to a fraudulent team

>>78184
Fair enough. Imagine TRONCHON at UAE, pwouah

hoping WILLIAMS can ride again soon, king of hardman weatherslop

>Cofidis sending pre-retirement TEUNS
lmao, that's abuse

>>78187
And then Veloman still puts him at 16 points! Madness!

>>78186
shadowbanned doper

perhaps

>>78190
nah

I wish king kung was here

>>78174
What does that mean

>>78158
I'm literally not changing my RVV team

>>78190
this team would win if mechanicals and punctures gave points

>>78193
danger

>>78198
a true goombler never stops at one adjustments
this is the parlay of goombling

Did some hill repeats. First time outside in a while. Fitness is shit but at least good to ride.

My tube had a slow leak and was basically flat at the end of the ride.... Suspect it's damaged by the valve...

>>78194
That's a new one.
And what does the red dot mean. One is really near my town.
>really refraining from trein accident jokes, roglic gone missing today was a great lay up for one

Dopito pulled from Ardennes.
Like 82nd in '44.

>>78190
This is the sovl team, but not the realistic one

Rumor is Hincapie brought out his old stash for one of his riders...

>>78138
Nearly as wide as my gravel tyres

>>78206
This kills the satan.

>>78207
kills? this helps him

>>78208
Getting way more friction and drag plus maybe some unforseen cosnequences?
Why not fiddies then, bet they could get a frame that fits them pronto.

>>78207
he's loosing a bit of rolling resistance on tarmac to close the technical gap. It's worth it, especially if he doesn't puncture

>>78209
but now you're hyperboling for no reason
it will help him on the cobbles and that's all that matters
they won't get him back because he's losing a few watts on the in between because he already has those watts extra on everyone that isn't grug

I have a feeling the race is going to be open VERY early tomorow, like after 4-5 sectors

>>78212
UAE is going to drill hard because most of their team is kinda shit and won't las long

>>78209
>>78210
nonsense he loses a few watts because of aero penalty and gains a lot more because of decreased rolling resistance, wider is always better on cobbles and that's the widest he can go

>>78212
I'm really excited. This may be the most competitive Monument this year. I think it can go a ton of different ways...

>>78214
On cobbles yes, but 38 is not faster on tarmac

>>78210
>>78211
>>78214
You see, you're not getting this at all, it is not true because he can't win all of them plus I am picking Mads.

>>78212
Sadly it will be yet another pogiwinslol snoozefest

>>78194
Morocco has nice camping spots or is that just Remco and his entourage?

>>78218
I don't see it. I think we will be surprised.

>>78219
I stayed in Atlas Mountains a few years ago and it was great.

>>78220
Atlas is nice but Rif is even more soul

>>78213
>UAE team is shit

I was really expecting Morgado to make a leap forward this year. If anything he looked worse than last year.

>>78222
Morgado will do one pull tomorrow, possibly 0

>>78222
Vermeesch has been a beast this year, he'll be Pogi's super domestique

>>78201
I flatted twice on my ride today, trusty sealant did its job but not before the tire went to near empty both times. Will replace the tires next week 2bh I've had enough

>>78223
They really should have him pull first, dude can't position he'll be gone by the first sector

Funny pizza pie farts haha. The olives were slightly shit though, maybe they contribute. Plus taleggio.

Fuck it. I'm gonna goomble. I'm sick of having to scrape some shitters together with 30 points in order to have mvdp+pogi.
If I die, I die.

>>78228
It is what it is.

>>78224
Yeah, he's UAE's big card to play. If he doesn't randomly chute or have a mechanical, he's almost certainly capable of being in the group with the last 3 or 4 guys.

It could be rough if Grug is ever in a position where he has to close Vermeersch's attacks.

>>78229
Based Ganna believer.
Mohoric. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a while

>>78231
Mohoric was ok in Flanders. He can top 10 again.

?

>>78233
a daring synthesis

>>78233
gotta say witnessing greatness so many time gets tiring

I used to like posting /les heures des burgers/ but then that place became completely awful.

>>78236
it still seems unbelievable that basically one guy ruined the board

Heh, seems like fairly big happenings in the /cyc/ overall championship after Itzulia.

for me it is a sunday in April, the best ciclismo day of the year

Best day of the year for me, sorry RVV sisters

I have scraped the results but at what cost.
Ever since I have declared
>i smell blood
>i am as good as the ciclismo first worlders
it was all freefall but one decent result from a cat 3 chuteprijs.

It's been 1 day since France last won a WT stage race

GC. >>78243

>>78244
poor polebert complete succumbed to the pressure
many such cases, goombling is not for the faint of heart

>>78245
Talk your shit king, if anything it was the non-sweaty picks that desastered me.
Surely today Pogikanker pays the price for his greed, I get back a few hundred, remontada begins.

>>78045
it's frucade for me

the real PR is in Ślężański Mnich - Bruki & Szutry today

Always an odd feeling when I see ASO's graphics in a different sport

>>78244
You'll do well again in the GTs, no worry. Me, I'm top5 for the first time but I've never finished even top20 in a grand tour save for the Volta so not getting my hopes up at all.

>>78248
Of coursh, fabulous startlist with MACIEJUK, BITTNER, ARM (right), BANASZEK, BANASZEK and KURWA.
A live feed will commence here https://youtube.com/watch?v=acjpwYZuFp8 [Embed] humbling the Italian RAI and their kermiskoersen.

Also completely missed VOLTR and KRAL.

>>78252
and BOROS

To mads or not to mads

>>78253
I didn't, status: WASHED.

>>78254
So basically its mads-F.vermessch vs Tim and Pogi. I think the boring choice is obvious

>>78256
It's the only race where you maybe kinda can bet against the satan.
I'm doing it, despite it probably blowing up in my face.

heh, farmer's son, now that was a was runner

>>78257
Very fun goomble. I sure enjoyed flipping the coin on the twins and choosing which of three 8-pointers will score me a BIG 14th place.

we live in compiegne

aaaand it's nice weather in Roubaix

>>78261
>norwegian asthmatic imports
god save us all

I am so excited berts

fake start in fake Paris just happened

>>78265
100% they should have a french classic season with paris tours, denain and roubaix in octobre. Maybe make a new race like the french championship from last year that was very good

>>78269
paris - bordeaux
paris - strasbourg
paris - rennes
paris - la rochelle
the possibilities are infinite

>>78269
denain
tro bro
Plouay
paris tours
roubaix

perfect string of suffering

Some strong woutism

>>78272
Yeah you can make an amazing three weeks block. If they get full rain everything would be so kino

1km to adjust your team.

>>78276
Already closed for joostment.

tibor pulling off a pogi

>>78279
imagine if he just attacks

I wish I could teleport all this RAIN OVER HERE into PR to be quite honest

Kek, it's so over for pedalton

man it is really windy outside, do they have tailwind on the bad secteurs?

>>78282
I thought they were supposed to have true tailwind for 70% of the race but this changes EVERYTHING

didn't do anything fancy me

lampart trying to sneak away

>>78285
Pretty sure I posted that one

I'd have the same team as bertman with Pog in.

>>78285
Oh you posted already, would have been me.

>>78285
Me neither. So our BIG battle is Hoole vs Van Dijke

BTW. But it was really obvious

I even went with the Huens psyop but so did everybody

>>78292
Reminder I was the only one picking him for Dwars door AND RVV.

Bertacek has Degenkolb of all places

>>78294
Now that's soul

>>78291
>>78292
>>78285
for me it's picking an ORGANIC team instead of COPYING OTHER SOURCES BTW
I don't even know who or what a Huens is and I don't care

>>78291
I mean, if you go for Pogi and Grug the team kinda just picks itself. Only variety will be which combination of Hoole, Hagenes, Segaert and, I guess, Tarling is picked.

>>78287
I don't think you had hoole, but I made this one days ago anyway

>>78296
I never watch that dude for classics he's just bad at it. Huens has been in my team for a while, very consisten for 6pts

30 Mathieu Van Der Poel
24 Tadej Pogačar
19 Per Strand Hagenes
17 Alec Segaert
16 Axel Huens
16 Tim Van Dijke
12 Florian Vermeersch
12 Stan Dewulf
8 Daan Hoole
8 Wout Van Aert
8 Filippo Ganna
7 Mads Pedersen
6 Frits Biesterbos
4 Aimé De Gendt
3 Laurence Pithie
2 Rui Oliveira
2 Christophe Laporte
2 Pietro Mattio
2 Niklas Larsen
2 Joshua Tarling
2 Gianni Vermeersch
1 Silvan Dillier
1 DYLAN VANDENSTORME
1 Tomáš Kopecký
1 Anthony Turgis
1 Thibaud Gruel
1 Sandy Dujardin
1 Bastien Tronchon
1 Alexis Renard
1 Michiel Lambrecht
1 Edward Planckaert
1 John Degenkolb
1 Robert Donaldson
1 Matej Mohorič
1 Žak Eržen
1 Marco Haller
1 Jasper Philipsen
1 PAUL PENHOËT
1 Stefan Bissegger
1 Mick Van Dijke
1 Jonas Rickaert
1 Johan Jacobs
1 Kamil Małecki
1 Toon Aerts
1 Sean Christian
1 Jonathan Milan
1 Colby Simmons
1 Arnaud De Lie
1 Riley Sheehan
1 Tom Van Asbroeck
1 Dylan Van Baarle
1 Lewis Askey
1 Fred Wright

>6=

3 Mathieu Van Der Poel Tadej Pogačar Per Strand Hagenes Alec Segaert Axel Huens Tim Van Dijke
>Amigos do Pedal
>MVDF
>ReversePedalers


2 Mathieu Van Der Poel Tadej Pogačar Per Strand Hagenes Axel Huens Tim Van Dijke Daan Hoole
>Blood passport Inspector
>Diesel e Vinho Verde

>>78298
Segaert is the one I don't trust to get in place. Maybe he takes the break but I doubt the break will do anything, UAE is going to smash VERY early

let's see, the not boring velogame teams, I won't mention the pogi-grug teams:
optakt enjoyers believes in mads
joe has grug, mads and ganna, no poggers
special mention of bertaczek in believeing in degenkolb
san cremo, quinde, bert (zonder foto), dumbest team, stopped watching this sport, schizobrit and gardener bert are woutist
kentone enjoyer, rusbert, burgerbert, oleg and me with ganna as well
kurwabert with mads instead of pogi
opi-oumi with ganna-wout-laporte

>>78301
he was 15th in RVV which really impressed me for a big guy
I trust

>>78302
Surprisingly diverse body of work from our goomblers.

mads will ...

>>78305
puncture like always

>>78305
hang with g1 until disaster strikes

>>78305
chute

I've seen enough, cheese bal and shaheen will top 10

majority of riders with one-bys, may their chains drop

Gwan Dewulf my son

>>78310
does anyone run 2x in this race?

>>78251
Also featuring none other than the great Tomas VAITKUS. 44 years old and officially retired since 2017.

mooo

grug on his last legs, it's over

>>78316
>run for those who can't
>rides a bike
humiliation

>>78315
why do they let obese youtubers ride this race?

ynr the former green jersey winner of the tour de france

>“Today you need both good legs and a bit of luck,” Van der Poel said to Het Nieuwsblad before the start, looking ahead once again. “Hopefully we’ll have that again, like in recent years.”

>Van der Poel will likely have to sprint at the end on the Roubaix velodrome, although he does not want to jump to conclusions. “If you can sprint for the win, you’ve ridden a good race regardless, but we’ll have to see how it goes.”

>As the defending champion, Van der Poel seems to be the undisputed leader for Alpecin-Premier Tech, but there is also a certain Jasper Philipsen. “A scenario where Jasper sprints for the win is certainly a possibility. He was a bit sick, but is better now, and this race suits both of us very well.”

doesn't sound very confident

I now remember Jonathan Milan.

>>78312
Do shimano even have 1x?

ynr the other former green jersey winner of the tour de france

Wout already with his special move

>>78322
no but uae just use 3rd party rings and I imagine others do too
for even further chain tension proofing one could use the wireless mtb/gravel derailleur, they work just fine with road cassettes

>>78326
I see. Grug is on 2x but probably will never go to small plate

la france moche, with your big box stores, mcdonalds, aldi nords

YOu guys need to show up 85km's in

>>78328
Really, feels almost like riding into a bigger town in Polska.

>>78329
does he really have richard mille stickers on his fucking handlebars

ynr Adrien Petit

>>78331
Yes.

>>78332
Based hardman

Fuck off james, we don't want your kind around here (americans)

>>78335
truth
the european continent is for real africans not domesticated niggas

Thanks Lemickey, go fuck yourself.

So basically lebrick is just selling Canyons

Jacky Durand is high on toon aerts for today.

And so am i tbh.

poggers

50km to go to first sector. 80 to pogi's smash

what are they selling in the love shop?

>>78342
Shapely bidons.

It's a big day today for our adminbert too
I hope he's voting for the ciclismo candidate today

big GLEB

Form a break already you lazy bums

UAE doesn't want dillier in the break, surprisingly

>>78344
I don't know which one is that.
I don't vote.

Based old man could probably still top10 liege

>>78348
probably none of them

2eme pelotonbros, we are BACK

Front group is just shitters anyway

Pogacar lachee

Pog pisses AGAIN, it is OVER.

No break I guess

>>78329
5km to go

>>78355
After the first session of sectors

if he wins my dear P-R then I will squeak like never before
must respect the kid for trying at any rate

>>78350
Probably I choose well.

F. Vermeersch mechanical

>>78360
Fake news, it was Bjerg

The 5 REAL monuments

>Milano-Torino
>Liège-Bastogne-Liège
>Paris-Bruxelles
>Paris-Roubaix
>Paris-Tours

Shame that LBL is the only legitimate one left as none of the others start where they should.

I was having lunch and the race ran in the background on tv. I assume the split in pelotao was a big nothingburger.

Interview with Mads from a retirement home? Why does he live there

>Norge shitters pulling like madmen 180km to go
fuck off

What is the most logical explanation for Pogis extreme improvement over everyone else?Considering he was on about the same level as the competition 4 years ago. No memes

arrière means butt

>>78367
Morgado at the back

>>78366
doping

from boomers to zoomers hair style

>>78366
Just like Mathieu he didn't give a shit and was eating burgers and having fun. Then Jonas happened and he got serious. So it is the fault of Jonas

>>78366
late bloomer, un-ironically

Wout really is a charisma void. You couldn't design a man with a more bland personality if you tried.

Just woke up, no break?

Decathlon riding at the front even in a race like this. They really want to be like the big boys.

Sante SENTJENS will win P-R in you're lifetime

>The last victory for France in Paris-Roubaix Espoirs was 19 years ago (Damien Gaudin in 2007)
>90 grand tours in a row without a French victory
what a cursed nation

town of Bert

IT'S TIME

Time to hop on the rapper. LEt's try to make it 2h

>>78374
Lel I just instinctively started checking my phone after 10 seconds of his interview. Your mind just immediately wanders off when listening to him

So this is all nice and all but the BIG question: can Seixas win P-R?

CHUTE

chute gove car

FIRST CHUTE
FIRST COBBLES

caramba

send sheffield in first

Shitneos about to wipe out half the peloton

vacek showing up

Properly dusty

SLUUUUUUUURP

nice bikes picnic has

Hundreds of hours of chink carbon factory slave work destroyed in mere seconds

First secteur and about 5 shots of moto passing by runners in difficulty

Half of the pedalton with s mechanical .

>>78399
The signature shot of Paris Roubaix

Also HOLY SHIT I HATE NBC WHY DO I HAVE COMMERCIALS

mads with a mechanical

UAE about to smash