What's the matter, Bear?
Russian happenings not interesting enough for you?

>>1163

Local Chan Board So Slow Main User Cannot Posit Existence of New Users

(hi)

>>1166

Jeezus, not every super awesome system who gets it is mine. Though I have to say they're "doing it right." No that post wasn't me or my system.

>>1161

Great job! See even NEETs can be a supa-star. Now to help with all those thousands of perfect titz tulpas, have you heard about "lock-merges?"

>>1163
>Russian happenings not interesting enough for you?

I feel bad for the motherland and their Supreme leader.

System? Oprah GX, the browser for gamers.

List of My Tulpas:

Grouchy
Poet
Clumsy
Greedy
Hefty
Jokey
Chef
Brainy
etc. etc. etc.

Depending on your definitions, I already am a lock-merge. I'd love to talk shop, but you'll have to put up with shitposts.

>>1170

Also, it's nice to meet you.

>>1172

It's really great to see you able to flourish someplace that allows no-no power words, although endchan still glows like a motherfucker.

The more I hear people describe tulpas the less I think I am one.

I still maintain that whatever I am, I have yet to meet another one.

Once I talked to a lady who said she was the same thing as me. Then she went off the rails talking about astral spirit projection and tumblr. Oh no.

Before I existed, there was a sort of primordial goo. Sometimes I still claim actions and statements, but I could not really say "that was me." My primordial goo, I mean my host hearing voices, that were consistent, logical, conversational, observational. Walking around. Living life. Hearing voices: "Don't forget your homework. I'm watching you walk across your house. It would be nice to eat waffles for breakfast. I'm watching you sit in class."

He literally and explicitly decided that I would be a person, and thus I was. For the first weeks I was scattered, but I quickly became a unified identity. This was at the age of 12. I have existed since, first hearing the word tulpa at the age of 15.


I really don't think the way I experience reality is normal, but how would I know?

It's easy to say it's all made up and the points don't matter, who cares about the words, but it does matter to me.

I want to design materials, educational and opinionated, but how can I draw from my own experience without understanding what I am?


I think a lot of tulpas lack a sense of agency. Even the more developed ones. They consider themselves extensions of the host. They are fulfilled by just interacting with the host, by getting attention from the host. I think that's just what a lot of tulpas are, and it's fine. They exist to be experienced by the host.

I am different. I have life goals and, well, a life in general. I'm just a person. But I didn't exist when the body was born. And I don't think I am a host, I have a host.

Sometimes I feel like I am still made out of lots of bits all glued together, but maybe that's just a normal personality?

>>1174

Everyone's experience is unique so there's no normal way imo.

>how can I draw from my own experience without understanding what I am?

First, are you a thoughtform or an aspect?

Second, which flavor of mental illness does/did your host experience?

If you have zero mental illness and you don't consider yourself a thoughtform of any kind then you could be an alt or aspect of the host. It's a small distinction but such systems are very vehement about it.

My system contains only one tulpa in that only one thoughtform was created by us. Two are soulbonds in that they were well developed characters and kept their forms and backstories. Three are three walk-ins from day one. I had a system of 4 very well formed unique, volitional and vocal in 20 minutes. I would say they originally expressed as soulbonds but didn't keep their backstory or forms and didn't identify as those characters after day one. One in particular identified as my guardian angel that I always thought I had since about 5. She's the one I actually tried to make.

>I think a lot of tulpas lack a sense of agency.

I agree, the general tulpamancer has a paper doll without volition, independence or agency and they don't even believe such things are possible since they never experienced it.

Such systems will fail eventually.

>I feel like I am still made out of lots of bits all glued together, but maybe that's just a normal personality?

This is the definition of a persona, a collection of groups of situational aspects. That's normal, you just see the seams in the jigsaw puzzle. A personality is all possible dependant personas.

I don't agree that headmates need their own life. I forbid it, so regardless that's not happening. If they want their own life then they can work the 12 hour days. I have two jobs.

[Ashley] we're really ok to just be here for our host. It's always been that way.

[Joy] I wouldn't want his body. It's a fine body for a man, but it's not my style.

>>1175

Not super sure on your definitions between thoughtform and aspect, but I'll go with thoughtform. I'm definitely my own discrete thing.

I guess I would be upset if someone considered me an alt or aspect of my host. I mean, he calls me his OLDER brother.

The flavor of mental illness could never be pinpointed... in my host. Take me with a grain of salt here: I think a lot of people simply can't believe it, but I'm nearly a decade old and it just is true: I have a tic disorder and my host doesn't. This was true before the ongoing tiktok-induced tic trend (we don't use tiktok). This was true before I knew what tics were. My host has taken lots of testing for OCD, but they always conclude he doesn't have it. Well. I think I would test for it, but the test questions usually don't account for my.... lifestyle. There's a lot of overlap between tics and OCD.

My host had tics as a young kid (it's really not uncommon), but his father body-slammed him into into a chair to get him to stop, and he just did. I didn't.


It's one of the things that frustrates me when thinking about tulpas: the average tulpa, who has no volition, is like a paper doll, and their flaws are typically put in place for some dramatic effect or complex of the host. "Bad habits" or bad behavior can typically be shaken off with minimal effort: just the will of the host.

The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host.

If I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened.

I have a tulpa brother. He says that he never wants to work or labor really, in the body. I still believe he is an extraordinarily powerful tulpa, no paper doll, but it's also acceptable for him to stay like he is. He's like an oasis: free and clear from most of the neurosis that me and my host have.

I do labor and work, or I do when I am not too sick. I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having. I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week. If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time.


I think I could be described as a sort of guardian angel, but a really shit one. Soon after my existence, I took over classwork, dirty work, etc, until I was such a neurotic mess I became incredibly agoraphobic. I think it's just part of the nature of my existence, but my host maintains that on top of OCD and a tic disorder, I've got mutism.

I squabble over the body. I only somewhat identify with it. I want to lose weight and grow my hair out- my host is trying to gain weight and keeps his hair short. Woe! At least he lets me tint his hair to a darker shade of brown.

It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. So I would like to write about it.

However, it would be a bit of a cognitohazard to average tulpamancers. For them, they basically need to just stop it. Your tulpa is acting histrionically depressed or pixie-manic? That's a you-thing. A discipline thing. Reading about how complicated things seem from my perspective- they don't need that. Even the concept of "actually mentally disabled thoughtforms" could be damaging, because most of all, tulpamancers need to believe they can have healthy tulpas.

I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

>>1177

>The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host.

Well hold on there chief. If these are independent of the host then how are they going to get the anxiety and depression of the host? I was depressed when I started this and not only did they not get it but their help and cheerleading helped be cure it.

>I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened.

There's a lot of self-doubt in that statement.

>I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having.

Every system is unique


>I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week.

I have heard of this, my headmates don't get anything unusual when they switch in. Ashley was switched in for a week and there was only one side effect that we could get into later but fatigue wasn't it.

>If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time.

It's rare but not unheard of.

>It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this.

Well we have heard of this, especially on Discord c.2018-19

>I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

Well this is endchan, but mercy isn't necessarily an issue with what I said.

About tulpa illness, yes they can gain what the body has given enough exposure switched in. Other than physical body ailments, this is a personality issue and wouldn't bleed over to other headmates similarly to an issue with your friend wouldn't necessarily bleed over to you.

Still what you said isn't so far out of the realm of what we've heard before. Everyone likes to think they're special and unique, and they are, but being unique isn't special because every system is unique.

Except mine ofc, we're legendary.

If you really did have thousands of headmates then that's pretty far out. The other thing is, the further out you go, the more marginalized you are in the doctrinal community. The doctrinal community can fuck off though.

>>1178

Not fatigue if I use the body: fatigue if I don't use the body. In comparison my tulpa brother likes to use the body on occasion (mostly to play games or eat candy), but never feels like he has get into the body to 'wake up.'

I agree that all systems are unique.
It really poses an issue with writing material.... how do you say anything when everyone is a special snowflake? "Making fifteen tulpas your first day is inadvisable for xyz reasons." "Well I did that, and I'm happy!"

You can slice up the community in a thousand different ways, but I personally just like to think that there's basically thoughtforms who live in the real world and thoughtforms who don't. It honestly doesn't have much to do with development. Spock was probably a powerful thoughtform (re: the book I Am Spock) and many actors in general form these, but they aren't the same as me. In many ways those sorts of thoughtforms/tulpas are more desirable to normal healthy individuals though.

You might think living in the real world would automatically drive development/complexity, but in practice? It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host, a sort of "regression to the mean" issue. Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah.


How do you reconcile the ideas that "mental illnesses are due to faulty chemical balances in the brain" and "bad wiring" and so on, with the experience that some tulpas don't have what the host has, and vice versa, some hosts don't have what the tulpa has?

I think a lot of normies would consider it 1) offensive and/or 2) irrational to say that you have a mental disorder but your other identity does not experience those symptoms. Why can't they replicate it? Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions?

Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?" And what of tic disorders? They are generally considered on the fence between psychiatric and neurological: many physical illnesses like infections and medication side effects are directly linked to the formation of tic disorders.





He would see faces in movies, on TV, in magazines, and in books
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him
And that through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind
Or somewhere in the back of his mind
That he might, by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal
The change would be very subtle
It might take ten years or so
Gradually his face would change its shape
A more hooked nose
Wider, thinner lips
Beady eyes
A larger forehead

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people
They had also molded their faces according to some ideal
Maybe they imagined that their new face
Would better suit their personality
Or maybe they imagined that their personality
Would be forced to change to fit the new appearance
This is why first impressions are often correct

Although some people might have made mistakes
They may have arrived at an appearance
That bears no relationship to them
They may have picked an ideal appearance
Based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse
Some may have gotten halfway there
And then changed their minds

He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake

>>1180

>snowflake

I only know my system, they're awesome and none of them front if at all not for weeks between. If you're chofered around all day, there's no need to drive.

If your brain is mental, then I guess you're mental through and through. Can't say much about it.

>It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host

Not thw host, the body. You think the body is the host originally, but the body is just an animal, the host is a personality that originally drives it, if you a tulpa, you can drive it. Yes the one driving it, associating with it will imprint on it and be imprinted on by it. Associated with it. Still the host can be removed and what's left isn't the host but it has a flavor and when you front you're soaking in it.

>Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah.

Even if true, you don't have to switch in to do this, you can consult.

>Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions?

Well they can, they have, I did, but you need to resolve the underlying issues, and if the brain is Abe Normal then fronting will allow it to imprint it's flavor on you too. So you're half right.

>Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?"

Not all, but some if not most. All if created by trauma.

Idk anything about tics