SA BEST A

Oh god I forgot the 's' in the OP. Too busy swooning.

The $3000 Centrelink Bonus Payments 2024 is expected to release in early june 2024 with its additional benefits for seniors, parents, disabled and students. Anyone falling in this category can claim the bonuses.

>>857029
That's Joslin.

>>857030
It's her sister Maree.

>>856947
Sounds like a good night.
>>856981
I'll see you soon.

''Good Morning NEETs"

Are you ready to die for Israel ?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cpddxy9r4mdo

>>857033
Thanks NEET.

>>857034
It's the only way to secure peace in the ME. They are Rome and Palestine isn't a country. Those greasy Egyptian/Jordanians should go back where they came from.

Imagine thinking Nabateans would win.

>>857038
the current war will end with millions of muslim rapefugees flooding the west, and we all know it

>>857034
/pol/ had a few solutions for this that usually boiled down to killing draft enforcers, drill instructors, COs, at the first opportunity etc.

Pigged out on cinnamon scrolls, still feel like crap, why didn't I consult nuro first on my diet?

>>857040
You should support Israel blowing up hospitals then. Fuck the ceasefire.

>couple of bees get stuck between the curtains and the window
>free them off by opening said window
>try to close it
>shitdoesntwork.gif
>try a couple more times
>suddenly the glass breaks
>the glass guillotine falls on my fingers
>bloodpuddle.jpeg
god dammit, now I won't be able to practice for at least 1 week
romanian hospitals almost as bad as prisons
I can't even go outside to get a coffee and they fucking confiscated my clothes

>>857034
On the other hand training millions of disaffected young men in weapons and organisation might well backfire on the elites. Who knows.

>>857035
$200 more?

>>857044
Fuark. Not good. Is it just skin cuts? Your tendons are okay?

>>857044
and you broke the window which is coming out of your bond.

>>857044
That's not good, hope you still have all your fingers.

the tendons are fine, I can still feel my fingers
but it's bone deep

>>857048
I have no idea what you're trying to say
my brain is fried

>>857049
I still have all of them, it's all that matters

>>857051
You should have been wearing gloves doing injury risky shit like opening an old stuck window. You should have used an appropriate tool. This is what happens when you are drunk and unwary.

Is nuro the only NEET to have had secks with an actual human femoid?

>>857046
Harry who happens to be Barry's cousin or something said he would knock a hundo to put towards the brakes. He is still thinking about whats best for the car. I'm gonna refuse because my cover story is that the old falcon got written off and has good parts that I can swap into the wagon. Looks like my hail mary email where I said I'd put it into an immediate renovation cycle and was not gonna turn it into a tradies rubbish bin on wheels or live in it like a homeless turd, was hitting the right notes. I even chucked in a plea for "the widows son" for good measure.

>>857053
You should live in a bubble

absolutely mental

>>857053
I was sober and that was a regular window

I live in a dunny

>>857059
is so funny

>>857034
tfw too old and fat to get drafted

No mention of the noggs pack-raping the woman.

Do any of you have experience with getting rainwater tanks pumped out?
I heard some noises outside and the wooden tank stand has started to collapse and the tank is now leaning against part of the verandah.
Leaning on about a 7 degree angle.
The tap on it hasn't been opened in about 40 years.
I am worried that if I open the tap it won't close again and there will be no way to regulate ~2000 litres of water/sludge coming out.

>>857062
Hmm?

>>857055
Have/are you taking it for a drive first?

>>857066
oh that
who cares?
dumbass white christians trying to force their religion on a population of niggers that killed all the whites there previously

>>857063
If its that old, its probably rusted and youwouldnt want to drink it.

>>857068
I don't want to drink it. I want to empty the tank and get it down off the stand and ultimately have it taken away.

Anyone tried maccas spicy nuggoes?

>>857070
I got the boig the other day and it wasn't spicy unless you are a big baby.

>>857058
cope

>>857065
not really, I'm going to get him to pick me up and then hand over the car, mechanically and mechanics who know it. Then I'm going to drive straight home and go over it as best I can and sit down and plan out the renovations. It may well be mechanically perfect and apart from the high milage and usual shit like brakes, belts and tyres I wont have to do shit except the turbo conversion

>>857072
the best way to drain that tank is to open the tap, anon.

>>857076
Thank you, Wise Anon, that thought had not occurred to me.

>>857077
clearly not since you want to pump it out. Get an adult to open the tap if you're not confident.

>>857078
Where do you propose the fucking 2000 litres of brown water go? All over the back verandah and house footings? The tap isn't threaded for a connector and I don't have 200 10 litre buckets.

>>857079
geesus dig a trench or get some spouting or just let it go into the ground. house footings are supposed to get wet sometimes.

>>857044
I hope you are feeling better soon International Cruisey.

>>857080
maybe you could put a tarp in the back of the ute and we could fill it up?

>>857072
I'd stab a rusty bit and let it drain slowly for a couple of days.
Do you have some polypipe to direct it?

>>857035
It looks good neet.

>>857083
No, but I can probably nigger rig something with some hose or whatever

>>857063
>will be no way to regulate ~2000 litres of water/sludge coming out.
Can you get a hose on it and put that down a storm water or household sewage? Keep an eye on what comes out.

If its going to tip or cause a flood I would focus on draining it.

>>857072
>>857086
>>857085
Good luck

>>857063
Maybe just get a bit of old garden hose and slowy syphon it all out away from the house.

>>857050
That sounds painful.

>>857075
You need to drive it first.

>>857085
Try to get it to drain into the neighbours yard.

Where's Nuro when you need him?
He probably knows some spiffy buttchugging engineering technique that can drain a cubic gallon a minute.

Awful thread. Bought an ironing board. Might post it later.

>>857095
awkward bit of carry-on luggage, cruisey

A reminder that /ausneets/ is looking for a new BO.
If you think you have what it takes please email [email protected]

Currently the only applicant is Tiffin. I have also received an email from another NEET endorsing Tiffin.

>>857103
Did he say it wasn't spicy?

>>857100
>NEET
A 'NEET' who lives in a dunny...

>>857100
maybe you should give the board to Tiffin

Is nuro the most physically fit neet on ausneets?

>>857108
Yes, and he has the biggest dick.

Nuros dick barely physically fits in his pant.

>>857109
>has
is

>>857112
You ruined it the peas.

>>857112
What do you call this dish?

>>857112
not sure about this one famalam

>>857112
Very interesting feed.

>>857117
That thing with his dog was some cold shit

>>857117
Not a comfy post

>>857119
This story would have been funnier if the dog got euthed right before the dude found it. Man that would have been a 1.9 mil payout then.

shit i gotta turn the pc off to rewire some shit. see ya later neets

>>857121
Good luck NEET.

off to bunnings for some bits
have a slampig

>>857116
>>857115
>>857114
>>857113
It's called clearing out your fridge and freexer.

>>857100
>another NEET endorsing Tiffin
Well, it is a complete mystery who that was...

>>857123
Grab me a length of PVC pipe, 1 inch diameter, 2 foot long.

>>857126
you would just abuse it for sexual purposes

>>857124
Not necessarily a criticism

>>857109
you would just abuse it for sexual purposes

>>857100
I'm sure he'll make a fine bo

2 whoppers down the hatch

>>857131
with two lots of chips and two choggy thickshakes?

Shit myself unexpectedly

>>857132
Thats not on the voucher

>>857133
>unexpectedly
Are you sure?

>>857134
Cheapskate wagie

A terrible life

>>857138
Have you been spying on me?

I'm back. Wiring went okay. Got 12V at my desk now. Can take up to 350W but I dont think the cable would take it.

>>857140
Welcome back. Please be careful of all that electricity.

>>857141
Its just 12v, its not like its rainwater or something.

>>857142
Open the tap.

bought two 99c buckets
cracked the first trying to drill a hole in the bottom

>>857145
You should have splashed out for a $2.99 one.

>>857147
I think I'll put some masking tape on the other one and hand drill it or something

>>857140
You need some thick cable.

>>857150
Meadow Soprano BTFO

>>857149
the intended radio draws max 15W

>>857151
She was mad ripe.

roast duck for dinner

>>857155
That sounds good.

Its on for tomorrow 4PM outside the cop shop. $4900 gonna be taking up. Got a lift in with a single femoid too.

>>857158
Good luck NEET. Take them for a test drive (the femoid and the car).

I wish I was good at writing.

>>857161
Very nice photo. Dare I say ... based.

>>857162
Make sure you post it multiple times for proper astroturfing

>>857050
Get well.

>>857072
>earth
That's green and yellow in every civilized country.

>>857165
>That's green and yellow in every civilized country.
There was a fine yellow stripe down one side.

>>857164
nice bucket

>>857167
Thank you, NEET.
I am going to run a bead of silicone around the blue thing just in case and then I should be able to hang it off the tap on the tank and connect a garden hose to the bucket.

>>857161
Based.

I was right all along.

>>857164
>>857168
Well done NEET. Good luck.

>>857170
This is pretty hurtful.

>>857171
He will be in charge of all the buckets at the commune.

Carn eags

Carn crom

Carn nuro

Sunday night blues starting to hit.

>>857177
Do something nice for yourself

>>857160
The thing about being good at writing is that a lot of normies who think they are good at writing are not good at writing. Being good at writing means you are good at not being a normie.

>>857181
I'm not good at being a normie, am I good at writing?

>>857182
Correlation != causation

The best authors write one book and then become a recluse, their name only popping up again when they've died.

>>857184
>recluse
Got me remember how the band got called Impure Recluse in the movie Hevi Reissu (Heavy Trip).
Wanted to upload a pic of the actual band name: Impaled Rectum. So I searched:
>hevi reissu impaled rectum
I really should have expect the results I did not expected.

>>857184
Tiffin is a recluse

>>857186
a brown recluse

Not looking good for eags

>>857143
Beached delfin

>>857145
>99c buckets
BYO chicken?

>>857158
Buying that much worth of meth out front of a cop shop probably isn't a good idea.

>>857177
Have a beer ya flamin' poof

>>857192
Its meth, not bussy

Thinking about that time we screened Harry Potter and Big Fella was really grumpy about it.

>>857164
Very well done

>>857170
I looked up Hungarian but the definition was in Turk.

>>857195
The Goblet of Fire didn't portray Hungarian wizards very nicely.

>>857198
They were Bulge-arian

>>857184
James Joyce comes to mind.

>>857195
Thats because he is a simple muggle.

One of the dragons was Hungarian. the horntail.

>>857089
not a lot
>>857165
thanks hungry bro

the doc soothed the wounds today
apparently the glass bit a tendon
for the next month I can't do jack shit
2 years and a half of progress lost
so it goes

>>857200
He had two good books. Portrait of the artist and Ulysses.

>>857202
a right cranky bugger

>>857203
Fucking hell. Sorry to hear this. Was it the fret or strumming hand? (I dont know if youre a lefty)

>>857204
Finnegan's wake was the last book I read in its entirity. Its stupid.

>>857207
Postmodern shite.

>>857200
in his defense nora's farts were not fucking themselves

>>857206
fretting hand
the middle finger had the tendon bit
I don't even strum, just picking
guess it's time to get into tapping

>>857210
If you're allowed to use the other fingers on that hand, I'd keep practicing and just skip the notes that you would use the middle finger on.

Spaceman (2024) will be on in 1 hour neets: https://cytu.be/r/womboflix

>>857212
Cool is that a sci fi moofie?

Gentlemen i wish to inform you the slow multi layered cooking process for an authentic El Nuro has begun...

>>857216
Based.

>>857216
That jar of mustard is worth more than the bubbles.

>>857216
how the fuk you not going to put that stale bread roll in the frypan, huh?

>>857216
One with double cheese for me please

>>857221
actually, make it triple, I like cheese

>>857216
Absolutely Based.

Ready.

>>857211
the trouble is that the index is tied to the middle in order to sustain it
so I only have 2 fingers

>>857226
Maybe you can get a NDIS package and have a pajeet take you shopping and help you wank.

>>857227
He won't know what any of that means. Banter wrongly targeted.

>>857228
Gourmet.

>>857228
Imagine not putting any sumac on that thing.
9/10 GET IT RIGHT

>>857230
Indeed.

El Nuro is in a League of its own

>>857231
> [x]

Ok neets, it's time for tonight's movie: https://cytu.be/r/womboflix

>>857232
I would ride with that cat

>>857232
hey now come one there is only enough pork knuckle left for (2) Neets and you beeter be fro good homes....

when are we gonna see some el nuro franchises to give maccas some competition?

>>857228
Based.

>>857237
I am El Presidente. Do not ruin that franchise for me. Thanks.

Can you still get cheap white bread loaves for under a buck these days?

>>857241
Based.

>>857240
nope

At the el nuro franchise, only the cutest of happas will be allowed to be drive through qts

>>857244
They also have to say yes if Weber asks them out

Aww, he bought the block buddah just like his best buddy. Ain't it just the cutest!

>>857244
They will all be Colubians with their tits out, like hooters. We will not do uber eats or door dash. If you want an EL Nuro you can drive there drunk and we will cover your legal costs.

Its the El Nuro Guarantee

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13454587/Saucy-Secrets-Jana-Hocking.html
Jana now has an 'agony aunt' column.

Crom flogged the eags. Fuck the eags. I like Harley Reid though.

night

If you only knew just how intelligent things are

>>857250
Goodnight.

>>857250
Good night NEET.

>>857251
My mother not smoking enough is what gave me the autism.

>>857254
>autism
Real?

>>857255
As real as asthma.

>>857256
tell webby that

Want to take a peek inside Weber's tackle box.

>>857258
It smells like old bait.

I need to be on the DSP.

>>857260
Apply for it!

>>857260
Make the steps to apply.

Night.

I want a picture of nuro's lean physique ever thread to motivate me to lose weight

>>857263
Good night.

>>857264
You'll be a skellie in no time.

>>857197
picrel

>>857203
>>857210
Just play punk rock from now on.

>>857266
A skinny human.

>>857211
Lol

>>857216
Yummo

>>857263
Good night Pidge. xx

>>857228
Thinking of the el nurgo it'll produce

>>857226
Black Sabath (and early jethro tull) guatist had a metal finger he'd use as a slide. I think ring ringer.

>>857247
Fuck yeah.

>>857260
Not changing your flag before delivering the bantz on weber?

Hey Baby! Hey Baby, Hey!
Girls say? Girls say?

>>857275
The fuck you talking about idiot?

I hope bo tiffin sends all the low quality neets to the gas chambers

>>857278
Then where will you post?

>>857278
It would just be me and Tiffin left.

>>857282
There will be fewer neets, but better ones.

>If you think you have what it takes

That's funny coming from someone who didn't have what it took, and now you think you're in a position to judge others.

>>857280
The rest of us will post at /ausmongs/

>>857284
Well you don't measure up.

>>857284
>judge others
An odd interpretation of his post.

The grey hairs are increasing. At least I am not norwooding.

That movie Cruisey tried to make us watch was 5.7/10 on imdb.

Sunday Funday !!

fuck the left hand
I will practice rasguaedos and tremolos until I get a nose bleed

or just play bass

>>857290

o7

I am off to bed. Good night NEETs.

>>857289
Imbd are just populists that base their reviews off of others reviews. It deserves much higher.

Have you fellas watched Falling Down on Womboflix?

>>857290
Thanks o7

>>857294
Sleep tight.

morning neetbros

>>857301
Its pozzed we dont go there

think I might buy a second hand thinkpad

Big poo gang

Think I might sell my old Thinkpad, its got way too much jizz encrusted on it over the years.

>>857306
I want to sell a laptop but load it up with heaps of abo porn

>>857304
Good morning NEET.

Gonna have a big food for breakfast

>>857311
I'll have what you're having, but no salad please.

Today, is payday. And on this day we bow our heads and thank our government overlords for this pittance. Amen.

>>857311
he looks as happy as the last time you posted this which was last night.

>>857314
He gets happier and the food gets bigger each time I post it.

>>857312
You have to finish every bite and every crumb

>>857316
What if he doesn't finish all th and crumbs?

*all the crumbs

>>857301
Pretty sure ProjectionistNEET screened it.

It's firing out of me.

When is Cruisey back in Adelaide?

Motherbat asked if Bill was at my place on the weekend.

>>857321
I think he got lost out in the Nullarbor.

>>857323
He flew over.

>>857324
No respect for speed limits or the road rules.

>>857325
Whizzing at its finest.

>>857317
Then he won't be allowed to eat at the big food table anymore and all he will have to eat is small pitiful food.

>>857322
What did you tell her?

>>857326
I hope he keeps his seatbelt on.

>>857328
I told her I text him yesterday morning not to come because I was tired from the dinner. I did not mention Saturday. I then mentioned the rain water tank saga, getting her sufficiently worried to forget Bill.

>>857330
Will Bill come around next weekend?

>>857331
Yeah I guess. Depends whether I do my chores during the week.

>>857319
yeah, it was on womboflix in late 2023

>>857334
I watched it at the movies in 1993

Ok neets, it's time for our best experts on kino to meet and discuss which movies to play next on womboflix. Nominate a movie to be added to the list or vote for an existing movie to be played.

Godzilla(2014)
Rambo (2008)
Showdown in Little Tokyo(1991)
Who Killed Captain Alex
Wasabi(2001)
Truman Show(1998)
Trading Places(1983)
Fritz the cat
The Commitments
Scum
Wolf Of Wall Street(2013)
The Bourne Identity/The Bourne Supremacy/The Bourne Ultimatum
Don's Party
The Holy Mountain(1973)
Mortal Kombat(2021)
Top Gun (1986)
The Grey(2011)
Dogs in Space (1986)
Reckless Kelly(1993)
Unhinged (2020)
Bronson (2008)
Midnight Run (1988)
Following(1998)
The Usual Suspects(1995)
True Romance (1993)
Prisoners (2013)
Beaches (1988)
American Psycho(2000)
The Untouchables(1987)
Apocalypto(2006)
Once Upon A Time In Holywood(2019)
The Northman (2022)
Samurai Cop(1991)
Ex Machina(2014)
Back To The Future (1985)
Spiderman Across The Spiderverse (2023)
Annie Hall(1977)
Saltburn(2023)
Hard Eight (1996)
Gladiator(2000)
True Grit(2010)
The Wild Geese(1978)
Upgrade(2018)
Alpha(2018)
Eyes Wide Shut(1999)
Star wars/Empire Strikes Back/Return Of The Jedi
The Warriors (1979)
The Magnificent 7 (1960)
Office Space(1999)
The Imitation Game(2014)
Steve Jobs(2015)
Predator 1(1987)/Predator 2(1990)
Dr Strangelove
Barry Lyndon(1975)
Conspiracy Theory(1997)
Iron Man 1/2/3; The Avengers 1
Until The End Of The World (1991)
Sirens (1994)
Paul(2011)
Drive(2011)
The Naked Lunch(1991)
Renfield(2023)
Police Academy(1984)
Place Beyond The Pines(2012)
Southpark bigger longer uncut(1999)
Fast And Furious(2001)
Mean Girls(2004)
Force of Nature(2020)
The Game(1997)
Weird Science(1985)

>>857336
Annie Hall. Thanks.

>>857336
Something with explosions or car chases. Thanks.

>>857339
at least we have one man of taste and culture among us

>>857335
I hope you were with a parent or guardian.

>>857313
My pay goes in tonight. Hopefully. Never too sure lately.

Garn woolies to get some neet treats, you want anything neets?

https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/bbc-stars-act-infuriates-pilot-gets-kicked-off/news-story/40e250bf3f3c003e5e74acaa0dfa0897
women are mental

The most I've laughed recently was at Gangs of new york a few weeks ago at all the racism. What are some movies or tv with lots of funny racism/sexism in them?

>>857348
Dear white people

Bish I sey what I sey
I'd rather be famous instead

Possum fleshlight flushing

the one on the right died lol

>>857345
I want chicken treat

>>857355
That doesn't look like chicken treat

The first time I went to Tasmania as a kid I had Chester Chicken twice. I don't think they exist anymore.

This is chicken treat

>>857358
yeah but the NEET was goign to the supermarket

>>857358
Two please.

This looks far more generous than it actually is, I bet.

This is a big chicken treat

>>857359
There's a chicken treat next to every supermarket

>>857363
There isn't next to mine.

>>857362
that's pretty gud, a roast chicken in woolies by itself is $12

>>857364
Then you shouldn't be going to that supermarket.

New episode of bedtime stories: https://youtube.com/watch?v=XXU9JKiQoGg [Embed]

>>857367
bed time stories shouldn't be scary

>>857368
They should prepare the listener for what's about to happen next.

Neets, I've been hatmogged.

>>857370
Introduce yourself to him.

>>857370
Should've gotten the fedora

Homosexual

Cloudy, with homosexual meatballs

>>857376
Was that a drone or something else?

>>857370
I want one.

>>857376
cool

>>857150
she's so cute

>>857343
New HP?

>>857295
people not only paid to see this, but they were also happy

>>857296
him and django are the only pick players worthy of upmost respect

My dad jerked off on the floor and the dog licked it up.

>>857297
I like this one better
btw, check out this one https://youtube.com/watch?v=xlrcNtH5pu8 [Embed]

>>857308
as long as you get another thinkpad I see no issue

>>857313
>>857342
cashed up neets

>>857381
lul

>>857377
He was ukrained

>>857383
That's Harry potter 42 should be on tonight at 7pm

>>857393
post this on plebbit and you'll get at least 10 simps to say she's 8/10 and she deserves that

also, why tf did my flag change from romanian to french and back to romanian?

>>857386
Did he return the favour?

>>857397
The site was confused by your accent.

https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/24yo-aussie-reveals-she-hasnt-been-able-to-get-a-job-after-university/news-story/0e21a44626979dc90e6b2730b1a94fc9
dumb slut

>>857397
There is no shame in being French neet.

https://www.news.com.au/national/western-australia/harrowing-find-inside-killers-45m-home-after-mum-and-teenage-daughter-shot-dead/news-story/d0edce0753338f2a5aa3b2e5b78ca18f
time for another gun grab

>>857404
They couldn't suck his cock hard enough

>>857405
rich bitch inserts herself into some other woman's marital problems and gets her daughter killed as a result

>>857402
*fr*nch

godfuckindammit

>>857336
I vote for Police Academy.