SA MEDIOCRE A

Cruisey has let me down. He has let /ausneets/ down. Worst of all, he has let himself down.

The first three hundred or so posts in this thread should be about how Cruisey has disappointed or failed you in some way.

I got banned by imissfather and had a bunch of my posts deleted after I complained about nuro threatening to kill me.

I'm gay
now reply based or you're also gay

>>856023
Mess with the bull you get the horns.

Oh i forgot to say, I saw a whore I was stalking online, IRL the other day.

>>855988
Cruisey never disappointed me because I never had any hopes for him anyway

>>855987
He didn't let me down.

might haveta drag out the hardcopy comix while the NAS is down for repairs. I got uh all the Aliens comics, except for the gay new shit which I stopped getting.

>>856030
>Aliens comics
were they any good?

>>856031
errr he bought them, read them, kept them, going to re-read them, are u stupid retard or somethin

>>856025
>bull
boss

>horns
micropenis

Be cautious.

Is $8 for a chocolate eclair too much?

>>856036
no

>>856036
offer them an extra $200 if they don't respond

>>856027
should've blackmailed her.

We need an edition dedicated to nuro's magnificent physique, let's think of some titles.

>>856040
Too soon.

>>856041
he can't resist riding

>>856031
Yes, actually. It really expands the Aliens Universe which is fascinating and some really creative writers came up with a spoopy backstory. The art would knock your smelly neet socks off.

A reminder that /ausneets/ is looking for a new BO.

If you think you have what it takes please email: [email protected]

>>856046
Good luck

Cruisey is a good bloke.

>>856029
You didnt make him wear a franger.

Fifo ya mutt, where's our story?
Stop shitting so much.

>>856036
At this time of day, it's risky.

>>856040
His forearms are strong and defined from gripping the handle rods so hard.

>>856045
Where did the prometheus aliens come from that made the alien aliens, and why do predator aliens come from?

>>856046
Everyone worthy except Weber has done it at least once.

>>856046
What's the pay like? We've all heard about those sweet dan sponsorship deals.

Room service still hasnt been.

>>856055
they come from prometheus. the predators just always were

>>856057
I heard you get a special discount card to use at Dan's.

>>856056
I’m banned for another 30 minutes or so lol

>>856058
Go and explore the boring city. Scarborough Beach is alright.

>>856055
The Architects? We dont know. Just some paleo fanfic written on teh walls of a cave.

Room service tug

>>856064
like cruisey's tug stories

>>856064
That was George Lucas in Temple of Doom, u scrub

>>856066
Has cruisey ever fucked a white woman?

Aliens OMNIBUS: One thru six, baby.

watching Jigsaw (2017).
It is okayish.

Phillip Duncan's Based take on the weather for the next week

https://youtube.com/watch?v=o1HnTZXtcT8 [Embed]

trey

J

>>856074
She has a big ass

>>856075
Would you eat that big food?

Pastry on the pies turned out splendidly. Really lucky to try freexing the flour for 3 mos, It was super loose and almost saggy and stayed together nice and thin. I'm a genius pastry autist, really.

>>856076
mcdonalds don't sell big food no more.

>>856078
Well bantered.

>>856077
Sounds Greta but did you forget to attach your image?

>>856077
I eat frozen pies that I cook in the microwave

*great
Bloody cunt autocorrect

watching invasion of the body snatchers
>of course it's a big conspiracy
<what's a conspiracy?
>everything

>>856081
Hot water pastry ones would be alright from froxen.

Looking forward to tonight. All this bad talk about Cruisey even though he offered to his host tonight.

>>856085
>even though he offered to his host tonight.
What does this mean? You should post on your own language boards, Chang.

>>856059
Where did the promethiuses come from?

>>856068
More than enough to know what most varieties are like.
I haven't fucked a thai, or an Indian or an Arab.
Thai/jungle gook is top of list of to do.

>>856061
The sheets are stinky will also be weird if I bring someone else over

>>856062
Were you a naughty boy?

>>856087
400 in call, 500 plus uber and 150 deposit for outcall.

>>856090
We both know, they won't need to stay long.

15 minute quickie

>>856092
Thats NDIS money.

>>856095
He's earned every cent of it.

A local radio station will be at a select servo tomorrow morning, offering any type of fuel at 91.9 cents a litre. All hell is garn break loose.

>>856097
Garn early NEET.

>>856074
Vile. Its actually surprising she would do that in front of everyone like that. Must be real low IQ.

>>856085
Cruel.

Can't relax. Too poor to pay for a tugger. Too fat for autofellatio. Woe.

>>856101
What brand vacuum do you have?

has webby's casual racisms ever made the news?

>>856097
Golden times on the horizon unna

Ready.

>>856100
A lot of his videos have hundreds of thousands of views. Some several million. He loves it.

>>856103
No but one the government blocks access to internet without digital id they will have a weekly segment on the news about all the bad things people have said online.

>>856107
Will Joslin be a weekly star?

>>856095
They tax me to fund the clients, so I can buy goods and services that can be taxed. Is circle of life.

>>856094
3hr no cum, after 2hrs of tugs with no cum.

>>856097
Weboig X?

>>856108
Not the first week that's reserved for me.

>>856109
your life is a circle of degeneracy, a spiral really.

>>856110
She new?

>>856113
She's with karen now.

>>856116
RIP.

What songs should we play at his funeral?

>>856118
Macho Man by Village People.

>>856120
No wonder it was 5hrs no cum.

>>856120
I rather like her, would buy her cd.

>>856103
Not the news, but some comments I made on Andrew Bolt’s blog blew up on twitter and got referred to the race discrimination commissioner. Bolt had to delete them and apologise to readers and a short while later the Herald Sun introduced a moderation team and then required you create an account to post.

>>856124
Greatest Tug and Hits would make a good release.

>>856126
They fear Joslin.

>>856128
I maintain Obama was a classless porch monkey and I still want to know how many tons of fried chicken and watermelon they consumed after Mandela’s funeral.

>>856127
I can hear her singing "you cum now"

Thinking of going to coles.

>>856132
isn't it a bit late for that?

>>856132
getting some neet treats?

>>856132
I'd like the following for a little dessert snack: one of those iced mud cakes from the bakery, some choc chip ice cream, a can of cherries and a 200g block of cadbury to melt on and pour over the rest of it.

Motherbot is going to send me thousands of dollars soon.
Considering a poke

>>856132
Chocolate time.

>>856136
Gone within the week.

>>856136
>>856138
I hope he gets a free coke during it.

>>856136
Ask her to hold it in trust for you until you get your life together.

>>856140
It's the key to getting my life together. Pay off those fines, hold the rest of it for when I can finally look for a rental

Garn bakery tomorrow. Get a vanilla slice

>>856141
Sounds do-able.
Have you blocked that drug fiend friend yet?

Going to Coles. Will fried chicken breast keep in the fridge overnight?

>>856144
of course

>>856146
kek

Night.

>>856143
No but those situations are easy to avoid (fr fr)

>>856148
Good night Pidge. xx
Lovely colouring on that one.

This nigga Monk rides the wagon for a few days and thinks he has all his problems solved.

>>856136
>Considering a poke
Sensible, a few thousand wouldn't make much difference to your life - you need more.

kind of looking forward to the compo arc

>>856153
Looking forward to hearing about it. Still wiping.

>>856129
Obama was a gay Nigger and Big Mike is a Tranny. Bidens 2020 election has been Obama's 3rd term. He is stil running the show.

>>856154
sorry mate , my bussy is a proper mess, need to eat more fibre.

Half time. Been a good game of footy so far. Carn doggies.

>>856155
Would.

Went back to the tugger. Didn't cum again. Giving up on this life. It's all pointless.

>>856114
Never enough

>>856159
you need to splash out on a pricey scarletblue whore

>>856159
>Didn't cum again.
Erectile dysfunction.

>>856144
Of you close the door it should stay in.

A random old lady approached me earlier and said that Jesus loves me.

>>856162
Tug addiction

>>856161
It would have been cheaper. I went soft just then. I'm a fucking retard. Weber is right.

>>856164
So does the moon.

Not even having a goon. Maybe it's because I haven't had a choof in a couple days. Wanted to kick the shit out of a bus stop on the way home.

Nice mark, carn doggies

>>856168
>Wanted to kick the shit out of a bus stop
Bogan tier.

>>856170
Absolute drongo. Just a fucking waste of a human.

>>856171
Nah he's alright.

>>856172
No. Don't entertain my bullshit, I'm a self centred faggot that thinks the world owes me.

>>856173
That is your Dad talking.

>>856174
He was always right. I'd call him but he'd tell me to fuck off because the dogs are playing.

Had a wank. Took me about 3mins. Theres some trauma thing I think. That tugger shouldn't have said she was into me. I believe flattery because I'm a needy child with an infants mindset. The only words I know are mine and whaaa. I deserve a hiding.

>>856164
should've asked her for a tug

>I deserve
Fucking me, me, me. I'm a cunt. No humility.

>>856176
Nah you're alright.

>>856166
I spent a foul amount on whores from 2018-2021. The best whores were the cheaper ones where you lucked out and they were slim and under 35 and enjoyed/were good really good at pretending they liked it.

>>856179
Is this Weber?

Still think about the taiwanese whore I took out to a strawberry farm the day after. It was a date in my head at least.

>>856176
>some trauma thing
Phone down to reception and see if they can send up a fridge meme.

>>856182
Oh NEET.

>>856180
This one gave me the full gfe. I think I was going soft because I believed we were falling in love or something. Did you get them off of scarlett blue/real babes type places?
Any sketchy moments? I've always been too scared to let one come around or go to they're place.
Hotel would work but then it's an extra 100 or so.

These whores are psychopathic vampires sucking the naive goodness out of lonely men.

>>856186
>>856182
It's so easy for them to get under your skin. Pussy will rot your mind and eat your soul.

>>856183
Might actually call lifeline or something. Not doing good.

3min on hold. Could jump off a patio in this time.

I hope you are okay Cruisey. I am thinking of you. You are a good fella.

>>856185
go to their place fam especially of scarlet blue.Its always a hotel or airbnb. Its never really dodge, they want you to feel comfy so you hand over the cash.
You weren't relaxed enough to nut fam. You have to be relaxed, if you anxious or uncomfy at all you won't buss.

>>856188
>>856189
>the wheels have fallen off the wagon

i warned you about that bloody wagon mate

>>856187
>>856184
That night she let me stay for another hour for 50 bucks. we'd have smoke breaks together, then come back in and fuck. Let me film as long as I didn't get her face in it. Said some things to me shouldn't of, let me have genuine cuddles post bust. I had an honor android at the time, she told me she worked at their factory for a bit.

Well that was pointless. Least it was a bloke, not sure I could've said that to a woman. Carnal shit.

>>856194
It is good to get it out. You did well to call.

>>856191
>relaxed enough
Yeah, that's probably it.

You need to do a 30 minute wiping routine before they arrive.

>>856193
The intimacy is crushing. Iktf bro. This chick made me feel like a teenager falling for someone. Consciously I knew it was bullshit but my ego didn't care.

Umpire just ruined the footy finish.

This doesn't feel like our original o7 poster.

>>856193
>she told me she worked at their factory for a bit.
I wonder which job is worse?

It's a me
o7

>>856203
The pixels seem off.

Kek

>>856133
>>856134
>>856135
>>856137
I didn't get anything nordy.

>>856206
What did you get?

>>856207
chicken breast
red kidney beans
butter beans
spinach
rocket
great ocean road cheddar
carrots

>>856208
Good healthy selections.

>>856192
No. One. Cares.

>>856210
He acts all high and mighty about the alcoholism despite admitting to smoking meth >>855903

>>856210
COOL STORY BRO

can't sleep, fug

>>856214
Have a chamomile.

>>856215
if I'm still awake at midnight, yeah

>>856216
If you are worried about being affected by it tomorrow you could just drink 1/3 or 1/4 of one now and go to bed.

I sort of fell asleep then work up

>>856217
I've already had chammolie several times this week. Fuck it, I'll make some.

Made a plan for tomorrow. Should be good. Good night.

>>856222
Good night.

>>856222
Night fella.

According to reddit nicknames for the pokies include:
>The tradie's laptop
>The pensioner's piano

I am off to bed NEETs. Good night.

Can't make any plans for tomorrow if I can't get to sleep

>>856226
Night

>>856227
Do a poo

>>856181
No

One mystery person in BEST A won the entire $150m Powerballs. Hope it was Motherbat.

>>856166
>Weber is right.
I am rarely right about anything. Don’t be a dingbat. XO.

>>856193
>>856182
That's incredibly sad.

>>856190
Lmao

>>856189
>>856194
Weak cunt

>>856200
Thanks o7

>>856213
Looking forward to the 2024 transformation.

>>856231
she would have but she spaced buying the ticket

Good morning NEETs.

I'm not saying good morning because I'm going to go back to sleep

I want a good morning

>>856238
>>856240
mording

>>856239
>>856240
>>856241
Good morning NEETs.

I hope Cruisey is okay.

>>856243
Thank you. Still feeling stupid.

>>856242
>>856241
>>856239
>>856238
Mrogadin

>>856244
Life could be much worse. You could declare you won.

>>856245
Good morning NEET.

>>856244
Go for a walk and find somewhere nice for breakfast.

She didn't win powerballs.

morning bros

>>856249
Woe.

>>856250
Good morning NEET.

mango mondster and a packet of arnott's raspberry shortcakes for breakfast

>>856249
lotto players are generally losers

>>856255
morning chief

>>856254
Say something nice about Motherbat.

Awful indigestion

>>856113
She'll post today for sure. She has to.

Nuro got bootleg platters off the dark web, once.

Webby's Old Moo made me a passable marinara pasta, once.

>>856255
>>856256
Good morning NEETs.

accidentally that packet of biscuits

>>856266
that packet of raspberry shortcakes would've eaten you first if given half the chance

Another day on earth bros

>>856268
Ain't it grand

Could be worse

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05-23/etiquette-of-dropping-in-to-friends-house/103852588
imagine having friends

garn local to get a few freddos neets, you want anything?

>>856272
Get me a big freddo

Caramelised koala

>>856272
Pack of Smarties

>>856264
Weber's motherbat did a shitty wiring job when she built my gaming rig, once. but amazingly its still going

Fucking bitch at IGA had the coof. FFS, why didn't I get vaccinated before?

Fark, forgot to submit job search applications and now got to phone JSP. Sick of this bullshit.

>>856277
Goodbye.

>>856277
She should've been wearing a fucking mask. This country has learned nothing from covid. God knows how many boomer shoppers she'd killed with her coof.

>>856281
Death to the normies.

>>856277
Its now called flirt, chadliving.

I went for a swim in the river and wanked myself off with a jellyfish.

>>856284
I heard you fucked a dolphin in the swan river

>>856285
It sucks you felt you had to lie about mong compo

postie is bringing my hoselink stuff in the next 2 hours
gonna spray bill tomorrow
make it look liek he pissed he pants

Is this that Mythbusters faggot?

>>856288
Looks like it. I wonder how much they paid him for that photo.

Servo pastie and a 1 litre red maximus

>>856285
That's why they don't go near the river anymore but once I get enough money for a boat and some scuba gear the oceans will be my new playground.

>>856292
Go out in Weber's kayak

>>856294
A kayak is good for shallow water raiding but I want to go far and deep where the larger and exotic creatures are, I could be the first person to molest a giant squid and have a humpback whale gangbang.

>>856293
got some context for the image macro?

>>856296
which picture are you having trouble with, laddie?

>>856298
the image macro.

>>856299
that's what we call pepe the frog using a computer keyboard

>>856300
an image macro is a picture with writing explaining something in the picture. Its often called a "meme" by complete retards who cant into internet culture.

This might be my only way of re-entering teh workforce, depending on what sort of 'background check' they do.

ungh NAS is not posting after I swapped out the PSU three times. might order a new one this time.

>>856303
it will just be a criminal record check
unless you have convictions for theft/armed robbery/rape/murder/dangerous driving they're not going to care

>>856302
Your shitbox Falcon still not fixed I take it.

>>856306
Roger Dingleberry or whoever is still working on the flux capacitor or something

>>856303
Don't do it mate, you were meant for greater things than being an uber driver.

Good morning NEETs.

ok, garn get jabbed, you neets want anything?

>>856310
get three jabs for me pls.

>>856310
just a poo jab please

https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/australian-ski-resort-forced-to-close-weeks-out-from-winter-season/news-story/e92b1949993f4f5fd9d590c28e5259ec
>A fire broke out at Charlotte Pass Snow Resort’s sewerage treatment plant near Mount Kosciuszko’s peak on Friday, May 17.
I did a poo there on April 1.

>>856291
Goodbye neet.

>>856308
he will be /ausneets/ first pajeet delivery driver

>>856286
I didn't lie

>>856310
Grab me a couple as well thanks.

>>856317
Why haven't you explained what happened?

I would do uber if I was a more confident driver. I think I would enjoy it.
Unfortunately I am a bad and anxious driver.

>>856314
hot spicey poo?

>>856320
Mate, everyone here is mates with each other except you mate. You're little johnny no-mates.

Is there any way of getting the government to pay for IT certs like comptia?

>>856319
He’s my favorite client and I’m fond of him, feel kinda bad about it. Basically he’s severely autistic non verbal. He can escalate with violence and has problems with emotional regulation, if he starts getting angry he just keeps getting angrier and you just have to ride out and try deescalate best you can.

So we went out for a nice two hour walk on a path near the beach, I bought a snack with us but he didn’t want it when we got halfway. When we got back to the car it was pretty much lunchtime and he was happy and not asking for food so I decided we could just go straight home and he could have lunch there. When we got home he escalated very quickly, I knew it was probably because of hunger, so in between giving him reassurance and trying to avoid being whacked or poked in the throat I start putting his lunch on the table. It’s counterintuitive but getting close to him and giving him firm hugs helps calm him, whilst hugging him you lightly put you hands on his wrists so you can kind of predict if he’s about to strike you, he tried lunge for my face while I had hold of my wrist, he’s pretty strong, all though I redirected it away from my face , having hold of his wrist he pushed my arm
Back behind my head and wrenched my shoulder .

>>856277
Sleep tight.

>>856287
Dangerous. Bill is accident prone as is and it might cause a big
B I L L E D

>>856325
It sounds like you did as well as you could in a difficult situation.
What is the medical prognosis for the shoulder?

>>856321
It wouldn't be worth the abuse you'd get when Uber make you collect 5 separate orders and people's food is going cold or melting or whatever.

>>856331
>make you collect 5 separate orders
Do they make them do that? I thought you could choose which jobs you take.

>>856304
The drives need to be tested.

>>856325
>he tried lunge for my face
That's when you start throwing haymakers.

>>856309
Good afternoon NEET.

>>856314
Spooky.

>>856332
Dunno, but I've ordered sundaes at maccas before and they'll collect my order and then collect another 3 or 4 while they're there and then deliver mine last, at which point the sundae is basically milk

>>856330
I'm going to the physio today, earliest I could get in. Don't know yet, gp was talking about getting an ultrasoud. Hope its not too serious.

>>856337
I always guessed the Pajeet drivers choose to do that themselves because they are pieces of shit trying to maximise how much money they make and not caring about the customers.

>>856329
Lovely.

>>856338
Good luck NEET.

>>856339
That is probably the case, but I'm sure Uber puts pressure on them to do the same too.

>>856338
Hope it's ok.

>>856333
wont post retard, even without any drives attached.
mobo or cpu. likely mobo got fried when something in the PSU got hot when I switched it on and smoke came out.

>>856344
>retard
This is starting to wear thin.

>>856342
>I'm sure Uber puts pressure on them
I see no reason to be sure of that.

>>856325
Sounds like you practiced that story.

>>856346
at 7am or 10pm when there are bugger all drivers about? you bet they do

Want to get a nuro style lunch, but I don't know of anywhere around here that does pork knuckles. Might get a halal snack pack.

going to dans

>>856345
not for me

>>856351
They look good.

>>856353
needs more pork knuckle

where do you buy cooked porked knuckle?

>>856344
If it posts with bad drives it won't load because the drives are fucked. Hard drives don't like power spikes.

>>856350
ominous

>>856356
noted. i took the smoking psu apart and the transformer was burning. The windings must be shorted and that means a current over supply. probably whole board is fuked :(

>>856355
https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/78575/woolworths-cook-pork-knuckle

Best place would be your local butcher I think and cook it yourself.

>>856357
he could be going there for a job interview

Windy wank

>Thursday's division one winner, who bought the ticket from a drive-through convenience store in Salisbury
Was this one of the NEETs?

division one wanking

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lzPSVC88YV8 [Embed]

I need this

>>856357
>>856360
No, I had to get a bottle of red and white wines for a dinner party tomorrow night, and I got some cider for this afternoon.

>>856362
No, although I know exactly where it was bought.

>>856325
Does he have restrictive practices approved?
A hungry exec mong is nothing to mess with.

>>856363
He'll be able to wank the rest of his life.

>>856364
just get good with a multimeter retard

the guy on the checkout at dans had a hipster moustache and tries to act like he is everybody's friend

>>856370
>act like he is everybody's friend
Yeah we got one of those as well.

>>856322
just a big thick one that obviously had the processing machinery grinding its gears for 6 weeks

>>856365
>a dinner party tomorrow night
Sounds fancy. Tell us more.

>>856373
At that dinner at the yacht club a few weeks back, I was peripherally involved in a conversation with a couple of people about a game called "dirty marbles". A few days later I got a text message from one of the other people in that conversation saying that Wombat has "invited us all to tea and a game of dirty marbles afterwards" and "hope you can make it?".
Receiving no other instructions, or information on the meal to be served, I decided to play it safe and acquire a bottle of Shiraz Mataro and a bottle of Riesling. I think that is what grownups do?

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/wheel-of-fortune-contestant-offers-wild-xrated-guess-sending-audience-into-hysterics/news-story/160a25b827d0ec3fb0e3cd31bd075428
dumb fucking nigger

Imagine inviting Weber to dinner and not knowing whether he was going to eat and drink everything in your house, clog your toilet, or worse.

>>856377
This will never date.

>>856378
like most neets

>>856374
It sounds intriguing. Let us know how it goes.

>>856379
One NEET has had at least two lunch dates this week.

>>856374
>"dirty marbles"
Sounds anal.

>>856380
Because I need to drive across the city, I will be limited to one or two drinks. This will restrict how social I am.

>>856382
I checked and it is a known board game, not just blokes sticking their nutsack in each others bums or something.

>>856384
He should arrive in the proper attire anyway, just in case.

>>856374
Wanna swirl a glass of red and chortle.

>>856386
That was last night.

>>856390
mo money mo problems

>>856327
Its all been taken care of. Didn't even have to call them (unless I didn't do the applications within two business days). All that stress for nothing.

>>856390
I'd give you some if I could.

>>856351
I'll have one with a hate symbol garnish please.

>>856369
We act civil around here m8

>>856395
I assumed he was the one calling everybody that earlier. If it was somebody else, I apologise.

@Weber

Ever tried catching bream using only bread as bait?

The bedroom curtains move whenever there is a strong wind outside.
There must be gaps around the windows. No wonder it is hard to keep the room heated.
I can feel the cold air creeping in at night. Gentle breeze on my face.

We would be happier playing cards and board games than being online all day.
Real social contact. No screens. No TV. No pornography. Just wholesome group masturbation sessions.

>>856398
>Gentle breeze on my face
I think we all know who that is.

>>856397
Nope.

>>856398
Get bill to caulk the frame

>>856392
Good work NEET.

Went back to freo. Smells like piss. The markets are for hippies. No pokes at the pubs which are full of yuppies. What a state.

The absolute state of this state

>>856406
Do you have a hire car or are you catching the train back and forth?

>>856406
> No pokes at the pubs
It will do you good to have a break from them.

If a bruv would've helped me out, I may have a higher opinion of it.
Theres not even a direct train or bus to the cas.

>>856406
Have some Subway for lunch.

>>856408
Using the train and 'cat' buses.

>>856411
No. I want authentic wandjura or whatever the noongahs call it feed.
Way more ethnics here too.

>>856410
I am sorry those three named NEETs are being complete cunts to you.

>>856413
>Way more ethnics here too.
WA is an absolute cesspool for immigrants. Not just Perth either.

They could nuke Broome and it would just be a Hiroshima reenactment with all the yellow scum

>>856417
A lot of twinks.

>>856417
until the white nationalist movement gets its own radio or tv channel, the old ways will have to do.

>>856418
I just assumed it was Davo.