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/kc/ humour thread Bernd 12/15/2019 (Sun) 22:31:19 [Preview] No. 33133
Cause I didn't find one


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 06:32:31 [Preview] No.33135 del
There should be jokes and/or humour threads somewhere. Two. Unless they died.
To be honest I don't get the joge in that pic.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 06:57:17 [Preview] No.33137 del
Yo arjy, love the idea but I don't get the joke.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 09:53:23 [Preview] No.33138 del
>>33135
>>33137
Florianopolis is filled by argies on summer. Santa Catarina is the one with the glasses
>I love my beaches
<We too!
<HUEHEUEHEUHEUEHEHEHEUEHEHEUEHEUEHEEHEUEJUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHUEHEU


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 16:35:44 [Preview] No.33144 del
>>33138
I see.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 16:48:18 [Preview] No.33146 del
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hue


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 16:51:49 [Preview] No.33147 del
>>33138
...

I laughed but only at how lame the joke was.

I will try and improve this joke for you.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:47:03 [Preview] No.33148 del
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Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:48:31 [Preview] No.33149 del
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also i found another ball one recently i found amusing


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:48:44 [Preview] No.33150 del
>>33148
>I love my streets


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:53:36 [Preview] No.33151 del
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(3.35 MB 480x270 f83.gif)


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:54:28 [Preview] No.33152 del
>>33150
>i love my any surface


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 17:59:10 [Preview] No.33153 del
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I also recently found a blog about retarded animals which I found cute and amusing


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 18:00:21 [Preview] No.33154 del
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Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 18:16:12 [Preview] No.33155 del
>>33153
>>33154
I heard dogs sneezing many times in my life, but I managed to observe once how one performs it with slow buildup. I thought it was having a stroke or something. After it sneezed it was quite funny.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 18:59:28 [Preview] No.33156 del
>/kc/ humour thread
I've been told I have no sense of humor because I laff at 10yo memes that trigger my sense of humor, by people who know when to laugh a bit like how a blind person knows that the crowd has stopped instead of walking into ongoing traffic.


Bernd 12/16/2019 (Mon) 19:20:28 [Preview] No.33157 del
>>33156
>I've been told I have no sense of humor
If you are Bogdan, you really don't.
>I laff at 10yo memes
No problems with that. "Old" is not really old. Even jokes are ancient, they just get updated time to times. And what was funny X years ago can be funny now the same.


Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 04:10:23 [Preview] No.33164 del
>>33157
I'm trying to say that usually when people talk about "sense of humor" they mean either the sense to pretend something is funny for social reasons, or you should find it truly funny but not because you sense anything from the joke itself, or the joke would be amusing even while it starts to get old or overused. Otherwise being the butt of a joke should be the perfect reason to not laugh at a joke, because to you it is something you already knew and others just now noticed. But that's exactly when people are told they have no sense of humor, if they are the only person in the room already bored with the punchline.

I'm a bit on edge by how the culture decided to choose the exact words that are definitely a false statement, when they express this emotional idea of "sense of humor". It's a cultish vibe. Why not just be at least slightly accurate to reality.


Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 06:42:32 [Preview] No.33166 del
>>33164
>when people talk about "sense of humor" they mean either the sense to pretend something is funny for social reasons
No, they never talk about sense of humour in such cases, if anything they try to avoid any topic which relates to their insincereties.
The second case, yes, sometimes who doesn't laughs gets "accused" that he doesn't have a sense of humour - or more often the person gets explained what's funny in that.
In most cases when sense of humour comes up it's about the person coming up with a joke (for example a situational)or jape, or telling a joke (when and what joke is also included), or spotting a genuinely funny moment during an utterly everyday happening.
>when people are told they have no sense of humor, if they are the only person in the room already bored with the punchline.
If you are bothered by this, then when the joke is told you quick and loud you "shoot the pun" and say in a very condescending tone:
>HAHAHA very funny, it's a joke with a beard
...so you don't get the label. In exchange they'll think/say you are rude, so weigh the pros and cons.


Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 08:15:49 [Preview] No.33169 del
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Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 10:58:37 [Preview] No.33171 del
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Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 16:49:11 [Preview] No.33174 del
>>33171
That fugging Varus embezzled those legions for sure.


Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 21:56:19 [Preview] No.33181 del
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Speaking of oldies. These are nice.
Das fühl when used to copypaste the retired text when someone posted about pensioners.


Bernd 12/17/2019 (Tue) 22:15:31 [Preview] No.33182 del
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Bernd 12/18/2019 (Wed) 03:03:35 [Preview] No.33183 del
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>/kc/ humour thread
>No one's posted this yet

For shame bernds!


Bernd 12/18/2019 (Wed) 06:40:12 [Preview] No.33186 del
>>33183
Because it is serious?

>>33182
Handy contraption. Would perfect Christmas gift for some.


Bernd 12/18/2019 (Wed) 08:50:35 [Preview] No.33196 del
>>33183
I too find this funny, how funny the idea that people would not wear socks to shower.


Bernd 12/19/2019 (Thu) 06:14:35 [Preview] No.33222 del
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Bernd 12/29/2019 (Sun) 20:46:08 [Preview] No.33599 del
A family of five (father and mother, daughter and son, and mother-in-law on the Hungary when we mention mother-in-law we usually talk about the bride's mom, so we use the viewpoint of the husband first, although ofc we call both the same) is having dinner. The kid asks:
- Dad, what's the difference between theory and practice?
- Let me demonstrate you, my son. - then he turns to the female members of the family - Would you have sex with [insert very handsome actor's name] for 10 million HUF?
- Well - says the mother-in-law - in my age it would be really flattering, ofc I would. I could spend the money well too.
- Khm - clears her throat of his wife and continues with red cheeks - you know how much the spending of our family, the education of the kids takes away a lot of money, I could use some new clothing, and we could travel some place nice in the summer... so... you know... for the family.
- Ofc I would - laughs the daughter - all my friends were so jelly! And all that money!
- You see - turns the man to his son - in theory we have 30 million HUF, but in practice we're living together with three whores.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 01:01:03 [Preview] No.33635 del
A driver on the road is phoned by his friend:
-Stay safe partner, I just heard on the radio there's a mad car speeding on the wrong way in the highway you're in.
-You sure it's only one? I see dozens of them!


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 07:41:07 [Preview] No.33641 del
>>33635
I like this.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 10:56:00 [Preview] No.33650 del
>>33599
>on the Hungary when we mention mother-in-law we usually talk about the bride's mom, so we use the viewpoint of the husband first, although ofc we call both the same

There are two different words in Russian for both mothers-in-law, тёща (tyoscha - wife's mother) and свекровь (svekrov' - husband's mother). Of course every joke is about tyoscha, she always hated by husband in joke and show some stereotypical traits.

I've thought that this is just joke, but some of my friends are married, and yes, these jokes are true.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 11:01:09 [Preview] No.33651 del
>>33650
Yeah, mother-in-law jokes here are the sames. Also the stereotype, when we say házisárkány or home-dragon, we either refer to wife or her mother.
We also have a stereotype with the husband's mother, usual complaint of husbands that their wives ain't cook as well as their moms. Well, not usual but there's the type who complains. Huh, maybe I heard similar in western media products, maybe referring to sonbasket husbands.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 11:01:40 [Preview] No.33652 del
Why did the boy fall of his bike?

He was hit by a truck


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 11:02:16 [Preview] No.33653 del
>>33652
Thumbs up.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 13:30:23 [Preview] No.33658 del
>>33652

What did the kike pedo say to the little boy?
Would you like to buy some candy?

How do you crucify a spastic?
On a swastika

Why do Negroes always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads

What's it called when you blindfold a Chinaman and spin him in circles?
Disorientation

Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover"

Did you hear the one about the sober Irishman?
yeah, me neither

How long does it take an Abbo to shit?
9 months

What did the Englishman call his son?
Mohammed

Why don't people hire British workers?
Lazy bastards take too many tea breaks


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 16:26:54 [Preview] No.33665 del
Two black guys walk down the road. They see a truck stopping by to help them cross the highway, how does the trucker greet them?
It's nice tar help you!


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 18:15:53 [Preview] No.33669 del
>>33665
Is nice.

>>33658
1st, 4th breddy gud.
6th: No, I did not.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 20:43:32 [Preview] No.33677 del
>>33669
thanks, i just made it up

A man and a woman walk to a bar in Canada, who stops them from entering?
The police


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 21:46:35 [Preview] No.33679 del
>>33658

- How would you call a black man piloting an airplane?
- Hmm, I don't know.
- A pilot, you fucking racist


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 22:08:44 [Preview] No.33681 del
>>33679
Anti-humour is my kind of humour, merely because I can't create good jokes myself.


Bernd 12/31/2019 (Tue) 23:42:52 [Preview] No.33683 del
>>33679
>How would you call a black man piloting an airplane?
terrorist


Bernd 01/02/2020 (Thu) 21:29:17 [Preview] No.33728 del
Specialized tool you can see through concrete walls.
Window.

The number one reason of divorces.
Marriage.

Why did the little Stevie fall off the swing?
He has no arms.

Knock-knock.
- Who's there?
Not the little Stevie

Policeman caught the golden fish:
- Policeman, if you throw me back, I fulfill two of your whishes!
- Would you make it three?
- Done! Now what's the other two?

How do they call the Japanese fireman?
On the phone.

Why can't the T-Rex clap?
It's extinct.


Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 06:36:17 [Preview] No.33941 del
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I wanna make two bands with the naems of Gigadeath and Ironyca.

Joge was self-made.


Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 14:40:52 [Preview] No.33969 del
Read in the news that on the crashed Ukrainian plane many Canadian citizens traveled. Canadian-Iranians in fact. What did they do in the Middle-East?
Clubbing navy seals.


Bernd 01/12/2020 (Sun) 19:29:38 [Preview] No.34006 del
A skinhead walks into a bar and notices all but one of those present are white. Approaching the counter, he raises his finger and voice and says:
-I'll pay a free drink for everyone here... except that nigger on the corner!
Everyone cheers. The nigger bursts into laughter.
The next day he finds the same people. As soon as he closes the door he says again:
-I'll pay a free drink for everyone but that nigger!
The drunkards cheer. The nigger laughs even harder than the day before.
-Why are you laughing?!? You don't get a drink!
-I own this bar.*

I'm a master of dark humor. In fact, my humor is so dark it picks sugarcane.

Want to hear a heavy, dirty joke?
The elephant fell on the mud pit.


Bernd 01/17/2020 (Fri) 15:38:45 [Preview] No.34090 del
Worm pops its head up from the earth. It sees another one.
- Howdy neighbour! - greets that.
- You idiot! I'm your tail.


Bernd 02/16/2020 (Sun) 02:45:42 [Preview] No.34415 del
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Some awkward Dilma quotes.

I'm really happy to be here in Bauru. The mayor told me that I am, among the presidents, in recent times, one of the(♀)* presidents, or presidents, who have been here in Bauru.

If today is Children's Day, yesterday I said that children... the child's day is mother's day, father's and teacher's, but is also animals' day. Every time you look at a child, there's always a hidden figure, which is a dog, behind, which is something very important.

We won't set a target. We'll leave an open target, but when we reach the target we'll double the target.

So far hydroelectric power is the cheapest, in terms of how long it lasts, of its maintenance and also for the fact that water is for free and we can store it. Wind could be this too, but you haven't yet gotten technology to store wind. So, if the other countries' contribution, let's assume that it's to develop technology that can, in wind [power], that can store, that there can be a way for you to store, because wind, it's different in hours of the day. So let's assume there's more wind in nighttime. What would I do to store that?

No civilization was born without access to a basic form of nourishment and here we have one, as natives and American Indians have theirs. We have the manioc and here we are, and, certainly, we'll have a series of other products which were essential to the development of the entire human civilization through the centuries. So here, today, I salute the manioc, one of Brazil's greatest achievements.
[In the same speech, holding a ball which "came from New Zealand" to "last as long as necessary"]
We're of the human genus, of the sapiens species, we're those who have the capacity to play, to toy, because playing is this. The important is not to win but to celebrate. This is the human, ludic capability to have an activity whose end is itself, the activity itself. Sport has this condition, this blessing, it's an end in itself. And it is this activity which first characterizes children, the ludic activity of playing. So to me, this ball is a symbol of our evolution, when we created a ball like this, we transformed into Homo sapiens or women sapiens.

Paes is the happiest mayor of the world, who heads the most important city of the world and of the galaxy. Why the galaxy? Because the galaxy is Rio de Janeiro. The Milky Way is peanuts next to the galaxy which our dear Eduardo Paes as the honor of being a mayor of.

I don't think that whoever wins or whoever loses, nor whoever neither wins nor loses, will win or lose. Everyone will lose.

*This is a convoluted. "Presidente" is used for both male and female presidents. To make a point of her status as the first woman heading the country, Dilma insisted on being referred to as "presidenta", a valid female-only form which fell into disuse because it sounds unpleasant. However by force of habit she herself sometimes refers to women in presidential positions as just "presidente", as was the case here. Not only that, but she also referred to women presidents in the plural when she was the only one.


Bernd 02/16/2020 (Sun) 02:47:42 [Preview] No.34416 del
Paes has the honor


Bernd 02/16/2020 (Sun) 08:54:36 [Preview] No.34421 del
>>34415
Bzb. Politicians really have some golden spits It think I explained this in the idiom thread.
>store wind
It is stored in beans.
She really sounds like a prime retard to be honest. Or drunk. Most of this shit should be pre-written.

I remember Gyurcsány's two fun saying (was PM 2004-2009).
The first one I can't quote exactly, he talked about how the Hungarian citizens deserve more, a better life. A new house, a car, a younger wife...
The other one was a slip of the tongue I guess. He messed up the speech, basically was an unconscious wordplay. He wanted to say, "elősegíteni a csontok összeforrását", which means helping to heal the broken bones, but instead he said "elősegíteni a fontok összecsórását" which translates: helping to steal the pounds (sterling). A freudian slip, everyone agreed.


Bernd 02/16/2020 (Sun) 17:52:23 [Preview] No.34433 del
>>34421
>She really sounds like a prime retard to be honest.
And she was supposed to be a cultured, academic administrator with a background in Economics didn't stop her entire rule from being a transition from golden years to stagnation to economic collapse. She even tried to give off the image of a harsh technocrat bossing and firing subordinates, and was known to be a micromanager. But when speaking she couldn't maintain a coherent line of thought and always went off the rails. Having the charisma of a potato didn't help. And maybe she didn't get any real knowledge from her intellectual background.
>Or drunk.
That was Lula, and he was charismatic and always in control. His golden spits were of a different kind, frequently just being expressions of ignorance.


Bernd 02/17/2020 (Mon) 06:08:34 [Preview] No.34449 del
>>34433
At least since the ancient Greeks we know, politicians have to talk well. If nothing else, that one is a must. Probably the only good side of Orbán, he gives breddy gud speeches.


Bernd 02/27/2020 (Thu) 03:01:03 [Preview] No.34676 del
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I really really miss the old kaycee. There's been a hole in my heart since it went down.


Bernd 03/04/2020 (Wed) 21:10:14 [Preview] No.34824 del
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- 911 what's the emergency?
- He wants to kill me!
- Who?
- The black cat!
- Is this a prank? Who is this?
- Charlie the parrot.

Blondie calls the airport:
- How long does the flight take from Budapest to New York?
- A moment...
- I see. And back?


Bernd 03/04/2020 (Wed) 22:14:34 [Preview] No.34827 del
A firing squad will execute, in order, a ginger woman, a brunette and a blonde. As the ginger is lined against the wall and soldiers raise their weapons, she points to the other side and screams "Tsunami!" Dazzled, her executors don't notice as she runs away. Next, the brunette is lined up. As the guns are about to go off she repeats the ginger's gesture and exclaims "Landslide!" In the confusion, she escapes. Finally, the blonde is placed for execution. From the depths of her lungs, she shouts "Fire!"

An ornithologist's two parrots, one green and one red, fly to a madhouse, where they roost on a tree in the courtyard. One of the internees reaches the branch, picks up the red one and takes it to the ornithologist, who replies:
-Thank you a lot! Can you bring me the other one?
-It's not ripe yet.


Bernd 03/05/2020 (Thu) 06:19:37 [Preview] No.34828 del
Tried explaining what a 'blind date' was to a Saudi the other day... when I said I saw the girls face he assumed I meant rape.

On his 18th birthday a Saudi father presents his son with five sex slaves all in burkas. "Son, each of these women are young models but you may only choose one and I will keep the rest." "But dad, they are in burkas, how do I know which one to pick?" "That is the secret of the burka my son, the face does not matter because they all look the same from behind."


Bernd 03/05/2020 (Thu) 22:29:03 [Preview] No.34846 del
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Bernd 03/06/2020 (Fri) 06:42:09 [Preview] No.34849 del
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>>34846
As a riddle (or how are these called) it's bad, but told as a joke it's breddy gud.

>>34827
>ripe
We have a similar based on wordplay.
- What's this?
- A "blue plum" (this is the actual name of the fruit).
- Then why is it red?
- Because it's green.

>>34828
Trying to remember Arab jokes, but can't recall any.


Bernd 03/26/2020 (Thu) 06:46:15 [Preview] No.35441 del
During the communism little Maurice is asked by the teacher:
- Little Maurice, can you tell the class which countries are friendly nations?
- Czechoslovakia, Romania, Poland, East Germany, Bulgaria.
- You forgot the most important, the Soviet Union!
- But the Soviet Union is brotherly nation not friendly.
- Why?
- We can choose our friends...


Bernd 03/31/2020 (Tue) 22:10:43 [Preview] No.35590 del
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Do screencaps count for this thread?


Bernd 04/01/2020 (Wed) 20:17:02 [Preview] No.35603 del
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>>35590
Sure.


Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 20:34:35 [Preview] No.35623 del
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>>35603
>>35603
Let me see. Saved a few /kc/ screencaps from years ago. And recently too


Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 20:37:05 [Preview] No.35624 del
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>>35623
Moar!


Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 20:55:02 [Preview] No.35627 del
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Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 20:57:12 [Preview] No.35628 del
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Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 20:59:40 [Preview] No.35629 del
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Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 21:02:10 [Preview] No.35630 del
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>>35629
Last for now.


Bernd 04/02/2020 (Thu) 22:38:05 [Preview] No.35631 del
>>35627
that israeli saying leave iran alone...


Bernd 04/03/2020 (Fri) 12:32:54 [Preview] No.35635 del
>>35631
Leave that Israeli alone, fat terrorist


Bernd 04/27/2020 (Mon) 15:12:55 [Preview] No.36327 del


Bernd 04/27/2020 (Mon) 15:14:04 [Preview] No.36329 del
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Posting smores


Bernd 04/27/2020 (Mon) 15:15:25 [Preview] No.36330 del
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Bernd 04/27/2020 (Mon) 15:16:53 [Preview] No.36331 del
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>>36330
That's about it


Bernd 04/27/2020 (Mon) 16:12:02 [Preview] No.36333 del
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Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 05:42:17 [Preview] No.36347 del
>>36329
So the plushie faggot is the lavalamp faggot.


sage Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 10:36:51 [Preview] No.36348 del
There is nothing wrong with having plushies.


Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 11:47:59 [Preview] No.36349 del
>>36348
Of course there is; what are you a baby?


Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 13:22:57 [Preview] No.36350 del
>>36348
Well, if you were committing suicide anytime, he is accepting your plushies. That's his shtick.


Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 16:20:47 [Preview] No.36357 del
>>36348
>Why do you have to zip up your pants every time you get off that plushie, Travis?
>You got a pussy in that thing?
<Hahahaha, nice one, Punchy


Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 19:49:57 [Preview] No.36362 del
>>36347
Does he post often? I just saved it because I thought it was funny


sage Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 19:52:08 [Preview] No.36363 del
>>36350
I mean I saw this already, but that just seems too bizarre for me. How can he even get your plushies? Does he ask for your personal address?


Bernd 04/28/2020 (Tue) 20:02:06 [Preview] No.36364 del
>>36362
>>36363
He was regular on KC main. I think he still is on Kohl.
Uh, he had an e-mail address and a PO box. Whenever someone wrote about suicide, he begged in the thread to send him a plushie. It's a good plan. Someone who will die nor money neither identity matter anymore, so that person just might send him something. He got a couple I remember.
I dunno if the senders killed themselves or not.


Bernd 04/29/2020 (Wed) 14:51:10 [Preview] No.36367 del
>>36364
kc has such a colorful cast of people posting inside of it


Bernd 04/29/2020 (Wed) 14:56:14 [Preview] No.36368 del
>>36367
No u!


Bernd 07/03/2020 (Fri) 21:22:16 [Preview] No.38330 del
In Soviet Armenia official propaganda said: "Perfect communism shines in the horizon". Local peasants couldn't understand and requested an explanation. State radio replied that, as the definition of communism is already clear, they should look up the definition of horizon. The definition they find is: "imaginary line which separates heaven from earth and gets further and further away from us as we approach it".

Cited in the Oral History of the Army, volume 10, page 204.


Bernd 07/04/2020 (Sat) 00:56:18 [Preview] No.38334 del
(102.12 KB 952x549 932cedbe54baafcf.jpeg)


Bernd 07/04/2020 (Sat) 06:55:02 [Preview] No.38336 del
>>38330
Apt.
We just built and built socialism so we can reach communism finally, but we never did.

>>38334
No joke.


Bernd 07/04/2020 (Sat) 14:36:04 [Preview] No.38347 del
>>38334
"finland" is an artificially constructed nation. its part of sweden like obesity is a part of america.


Bernd 07/27/2020 (Mon) 00:46:41 [Preview] No.38809 del
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What does the brilliant pickaxe developer work on?
Groundbreaking technologies.


Bernd 07/27/2020 (Mon) 05:13:50 [Preview] No.38811 del
>>38809
Genius.


Bernd 07/28/2020 (Tue) 21:59:24 [Preview] No.38841 del
There's a few posters that always managed to get a giggle from me. The Russian DOOM poster, general HAPA threads, the German bernd who would always sperg out in the most EBIN matter.

/kc/ is just a funny type of place to be in. What is it about this board that always brings people together and brings out the EBIN out of them? Is it the memes or is it the bernds?


Bernd 07/29/2020 (Wed) 16:02:57 [Preview] No.38851 del
>>38841
I dunno, I check on most days but I have little time to actually browse. I find very little that would make me laugh.


Bernd 08/02/2020 (Sun) 05:23:52 [Preview] No.38924 del
>>38851
Lots of people left when they changed the css on the site. Could feel site quality plummet after that.

And after the kohlzine fiasco, I think most true bernds just called it quits. Shame really, I really liked early kohl tbh.

And the fourth pic is from here actually tbh. From our resident meme master Turkeybernd. RIP in pieces, wherever your wings may fly you to


Bernd 08/02/2020 (Sun) 09:05:00 [Preview] No.38933 del
what month comes before January?
Nullanuary


Bernd 08/02/2020 (Sun) 11:47:25 [Preview] No.38939 del
>>38924
>Lots of people left when they changed the css on the site. Could feel site quality plummet after that.
How do stylesheets change the quality of a board? I don't follow.


Bernd 08/02/2020 (Sun) 15:51:23 [Preview] No.38947 del
>>38939
read it better:

style change -> people leave (because they don't like it) -> quality drops (because people leave)

i personally stop visiting websites when they try to be more "epic and cool" (not boards, but from boards i can remeber ylilauta that sort of changed its design always to become more and more finnish reddit as the result everyone left their /int/ it is now a ghost town lol

hey but at least they have normies! win-win


Bernd 08/02/2020 (Sun) 21:56:33 [Preview] No.38966 del
>>38947
What exactly has changed and why is it bad? To this date Kohlchan looks much more like Krautchan than this board for instance. There are some differences due to LynxChan and even new original features, but that's natural.


Bernd 08/03/2020 (Mon) 13:50:42 [Preview] No.38985 del
>>38841
The swede hapa made it impossible to post for a good while

Chans in general makes for a open and honest conversation since there is no shaming for being who you are.


Bernd 08/03/2020 (Mon) 14:27:24 [Preview] No.38986 del
>>38985
I'm on the IRC.


Bernd 08/03/2020 (Mon) 15:26:48 [Preview] No.38988 del
(106.12 KB 1200x627 grappa.jpg)
>>38985
>there is no shaming for being who you are
On most chans' most boards that is exactly what a large part of the conversation is. They try to press any information out of you, or picking up whatever voluntarily shared information and try to shame you for it. Or they just make up something and try to shame you for that.
Sometimes it can be funny - since this is a thread about joges -, telling any Swede "that's enough grappa" for any or no reason it's quite funny. Once. After that it loses novelty fast (for most people). Granted those who get told wouldn't enjoy that. Especially since everyone feel he has to say it once, and they are a lot, receiving people are way fewer.
But then there is the other side. I'm breddy sure not one Swede on Kohl embraced it and shitposted as grappa for fun. Adding more to the "one/lone Swede theory" meme as well.


Bernd 08/04/2020 (Tue) 00:24:24 [Preview] No.38994 del
>>38985
that's more to do with chans are politicized to the core, including kohl. you cant engage with bernd anymore but only with their masters and their memorized lines.


Bernd 08/04/2020 (Tue) 01:30:50 [Preview] No.38998 del
>>38939
Original css on kohl was Ebins. New css is shit, SHIT


Bernd 08/04/2020 (Tue) 01:40:19 [Preview] No.38999 del
(215.60 KB 2047x2047 Pertii Spede 3D render.jpeg)
>>38994
>that's more to do with chans are politicized to the core, including kohl. you cant engage with bernd anymore but only with their masters and their memorized lines.

I just wanted to have Serious discussions. Why can't I have serious discussions? Is it illegal to talk about haplotypes nowadays? Why must the bernds suffer?

Personally, I blame the keins for this. They are always plotting against us!


Bernd 08/04/2020 (Tue) 05:53:33 [Preview] No.39007 del
>>38994
This true. What was the firs which pol grew out from? /news/ on 4chan? Or something like that. It was a fuckin mistake. And people can't compartmentalize, they will inject the shit of a board they visit into another one.


Bernd 08/04/2020 (Tue) 12:51:53 [Preview] No.39010 del
>>38998
See >>38966

Kohlchan in the first year with Vichan was very far off the original KC.

Kohlchan with LynxChan has improved a lot in that regard.


Bernd 08/05/2020 (Wed) 02:59:13 [Preview] No.39040 del
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(60.10 KB 990x590 1322236913001.png)
(1.12 MB 1500x2472 1373227029004.png)


sage Bernd 08/05/2020 (Wed) 03:05:00 [Preview] No.39041 del
>>39040

I have more 2011-2015 vintage if you are wanting.


Bernd 08/05/2020 (Wed) 12:14:29 [Preview] No.39047 del
>>39041
Post polish bernd being denied of buying condom.


Bernd 08/08/2020 (Sat) 17:38:43 [Preview] No.39111 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wjueZbwJhN0 [Embed]

When its been a while


Bernd 08/09/2020 (Sun) 16:20:40 [Preview] No.39143 del
>>39111
Some commenters found it very funny. Is it escaping reality?


Bernd 08/09/2020 (Sun) 19:05:39 [Preview] No.39153 del
>>39143
maybe

https://youtube.com/watch?v=KbZRjQsW_co [Embed]


Bernd 08/10/2020 (Mon) 04:20:04 [Preview] No.39155 del
>>39040
>1st pic rel
Poor lil Latvia. Why must you suffer so? but srs, why so many soldier raeps?

>>39041
>I have more 2011-2015 vintage if you are wanting.
Please post it bernd


Bernd 08/10/2020 (Mon) 05:21:35 [Preview] No.39160 del
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I have something in the pantry.


Bernd 08/10/2020 (Mon) 17:22:19 [Preview] No.39172 del
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>free to leave the EU
I wonder what the Brits are thinking about this.


Bernd 08/10/2020 (Mon) 17:31:08 [Preview] No.39173 del
(128.95 KB 1257x383 oculus_greentextstory.png)
Ok. Last one for today because it's really fun.


Bernd 08/10/2020 (Mon) 22:28:39 [Preview] No.39178 del
>>39172
:-----D
I remember posting that 4th picture here


Bernd 08/11/2020 (Tue) 12:51:09 [Preview] No.39196 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=uVozVLDTNUw [Embed]

American prisons are something else


Bernd 08/11/2020 (Tue) 17:38:56 [Preview] No.39203 del
>>39196
Curious accent. Maybe Indian? Or some SE Asian? Or Latino?


Bernd 08/12/2020 (Wed) 07:29:02 [Preview] No.39221 del
>>39203
Ebonics

https://youtube.com/watch?v=RrTSYhGtaqw [Embed]


Bernd 08/12/2020 (Wed) 16:20:27 [Preview] No.39228 del
It has three fingers and ten kids. What is it?
A carpenter who cannot into safety.


Bernd 08/13/2020 (Thu) 19:15:27 [Preview] No.39249 del
>>39221
Not Fleece Johnson. The narrator.
Also USians think that words like "learnt" are ebonics, while it's Bri'ish English.


Bernd 08/18/2020 (Tue) 15:49:24 [Preview] No.39345 del
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>>39228
But what if he has prosthetic wooden arms and fingers made instead?


Bernd 08/18/2020 (Tue) 15:52:43 [Preview] No.39346 del
>>39345
I hope they made of beech. Those itch less.


Bernd 08/20/2020 (Thu) 19:24:11 [Preview] No.39417 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Vsd5LgHJY6E [Embed]


Bernd 09/12/2020 (Sat) 07:32:28 [Preview] No.39992 del
MAN kind
Hu MAN
Per SON

Where’s the female pronouns?




Dishwas HER


Bernd 09/12/2020 (Sat) 10:25:25 [Preview] No.39999 del
>>39992
>Dish was HER
Some joke about cannibalism? Not cool dude.


Bernd 12/08/2020 (Tue) 18:46:36 [Preview] No.41430 del
A starving Cuban child gets home after school and begs for food, but his mother says they have none. Then he points at the family parrot and asks:
-Why don't we eat parrot with rice?
-Because there's no rice.
-Why don't we eat parrot with vegetables?
-Because there are no vegetables.
-Why don't we eat baked parrot?
-Because there's no gas.
-Why don't we eat fried parrot?
-Because there's no oil.
The parrot interrupts them, screaming:
-VIVA FIDEL!!!!!!!!


Bernd 12/08/2020 (Tue) 18:52:07 [Preview] No.41431 del


Bernd 12/08/2020 (Tue) 19:00:32 [Preview] No.41432 del
>>41430
Hehe.
Reminds me:
Workers are traveling on a train, comrade Lenin is the engineer. Destination: communism. They run out of fuel and the workers turn to Lenin:
- Comrade Lenin! We have no more coals to feed the engine! How are we gonna reach communism?
- Do not worry comrades. All the food are combustible, throw those in the engine.
They do as told and the train rolls on. But soon they run out of food.
- Comrade Lenin! We have no more food to feed the engine! How are we gonna reach communism?
- Do not worry comrades. All your clothes are combustible, throw those in the engine.
They do as told and the train rolls on. But soon they run out of clothes.
- Comrade Lenin! We have no more clothes to feed the engine! How are we gonna reach communism?
- Do not worry comrades. All the railroad ties are made of wood therefore combustible, tear those up and throw them in the engine.
They do as told and the train rolls on. But soon they run out of railroad ties.
- Comrade Lenin! All the railroad ties are gone! We have no food, no clothes, can't move forward but can't go back! How are we gonna reach communism?
- Comrades! We arrived!


Bernd 12/08/2020 (Tue) 20:21:29 [Preview] No.41434 del


Bernd 01/21/2021 (Thu) 00:20:53 [Preview] No.42167 del
Rare footage of 30 000 Russians in one place:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=04njAtvd6fM [Embed]


Bernd 01/21/2021 (Thu) 06:43:32 [Preview] No.42169 del
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>>42167
I kinda doubt all of them are roosters.


Bernd 02/01/2021 (Mon) 13:25:41 [Preview] No.42365 del
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How's the process for drilling a hole?
Boring.


Bernd 02/01/2021 (Mon) 20:33:53 [Preview] No.42374 del
>>42365
Exciting?


Bernd 05/17/2021 (Mon) 09:34:21 [Preview] No.43640 del
I think I posted this in a previous humour thread.

What is an Englishman?
A gentleman.
What are two Englishmen?
A club.
What are three Englishmen?
A colonial empire.

What is a Frenchie?
A gourmet.*
What are two Frenchies?
A fashion show.
What are three Frenchies?
A perfect relationship.

What is a German?
A soldier.
What are two Germans?
A factory.
What are three Germans?
A World War.

What is a Hungarian?
A lord.*
What are two Hungarians?
Three different political views.
What are three Hungarians?
No such thing. One of them is either a Swabian or a Jew.


*Couldn't remember exactly, had to come up with something, I can justify my decision.


Bernd 05/18/2021 (Tue) 00:59:56 [Preview] No.43655 del
>>43640
One Frenchman is a womanizer, two Frenchmen are a duel, three Frenchmen are a revolution.


Bernd 05/19/2021 (Wed) 16:42:31 [Preview] No.43691 del
>>43655
>three Frenchmen
No such thing. One of them is either Algerian or a Nigerien.


Bernd 06/21/2021 (Mon) 16:30:28 [Preview] No.44092 del
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Bernd 06/22/2021 (Tue) 00:00:10 [Preview] No.44118 del


Bernd 06/22/2021 (Tue) 06:26:09 [Preview] No.44120 del
>>44118
Scrubbed the broken pics, repost them, pls.


Bernd 06/22/2021 (Tue) 14:09:20 [Preview] No.44137 del
(60.78 KB 614x601 pharaoh barbosa.jpg)
(76.97 KB 687x535 t. alberto barbosa.jpg)
(183.45 KB 610x837 Vasco Barbosa.jpg)


Bernd 06/22/2021 (Tue) 22:32:14 [Preview] No.44145 del
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>>44092

Some from old KC (I couldn't understand them anyway).


Bernd 06/23/2021 (Wed) 10:53:10 [Preview] No.44157 del
>>44145
Thanks.
I edited this one (well a screenshot of it).


Bernd 09/29/2021 (Wed) 14:56:51 [Preview] No.45134 del
Type of jokes is the "grumpy piglet" jokes.
Goes something like this:

Grumpy piglet walks in the woods. He meets a fairy.
- Hey little piglet, I'm in a very good mood, I will grant one wish of yours.
- Suck my dick!

Grumpy piglet falls into a pit. The bunny notices and tells him from above at the edge of the pit:
- I'm gonna get some help. Just wait patiently.
- I won't wait!


>>45079
Hahaha, good one comrade.


Bernd 10/16/2021 (Sat) 15:40:41 [Preview] No.45313 del
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How do they call a busy Slavic grill?
Sweatlana

Joge was self-made.


Bernd 10/17/2021 (Sun) 22:54:37 [Preview] No.45318 del
>>45313
If she liked eating lots of sweets, she would be called "Sweetlana", but that wouldn't be too funny


Bernd 10/18/2021 (Mon) 06:24:33 [Preview] No.45325 del
>>45318
No sweets, just potato.


Bernd 10/18/2021 (Mon) 08:22:35 [Preview] No.45326 del
(5.23 MB 4551x3034 Krumplicukor.jpg)
On the other hand...
This is potato candy, made of starch extracted from potato and turned into glucose. It has a peculiar taste I were never fond of. It's not too bad, I just found it a bit weird. It also can be caramelized just the same as normal sugar.
So potato is also a sweet.


Dutch bernd Bernd 10/23/2021 (Sat) 22:57:59 [Preview] No.45361 del
>>45326
>This is potato candy, made of starch extracted from potato and turned into glucose. It has a peculiar taste I were never fond of. It's not too bad, I just found it a bit weird.
>So potato is also a sweet.

Well I know what I'm asking Santa for this Christmas then tbh


Bernd 10/24/2021 (Sun) 08:04:01 [Preview] No.45377 del
>>45361
>what I'm asking Santa for this Christmas then
A sack of potato?


Bernd 10/25/2021 (Mon) 14:56:01 [Preview] No.45392 del
Watson comes home a bit earlier than usual and sees Holmes having sex with a clearly underage girl.

-What the fuck Holmes? Is she in high school!?
- Elementary, my dear Watson


Bernd 10/25/2021 (Mon) 18:52:31 [Preview] No.45395 del
>>45392
That is funny.


sage Bernd 10/30/2021 (Sat) 22:45:41 [Preview] No.45419 del
>>45392
This is cringe


Bernd 01/10/2022 (Mon) 16:55:23 [Preview] No.46094 del
How do you catch a rabbit?
Sit in a bush and imitate the sound of a carrot.


Bernd 04/17/2024 (Wed) 16:40 [Preview] No.51898 del
Yvonne the Terrible


Bernd 04/17/2024 (Wed) 16:44 [Preview] No.51899 del
>>51898
I think I should have expanded on this joge. Liek:
>My mother-in-law is called Yvonne
>I just call her Yvonne the Terrible


Dutch bernd Bernd 04/26/2024 (Fri) 01:06 [Preview] No.51915 del
(2.93 KB 126x125 yydfasfhuwer.jpg)
>>51899
Yes a punchline for a joge needs a story first bernd



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