Old thread on autosage
>>4500

Time to start D&D Meta Thread #3!
Divas & Drama continues, what fate awaits the brave adventurers of the Neverwinter Pest and Weed Control?

Also her host I guess.

We all like to tease Alice a lot but we still have to remember, though she's an OP metal shifting terminator loli demon from the moon, she's also a person with feelings (she is right?) so let's all praise the wise, loving, caring, beautiful Dr. Alice Chan and her host (presuming he has feelings? He's German right? I really think he would but I can't be sure, or a sense of humility or humor.)

Once again, thanks for this wonderful site where we can all play and raz eachother but not in a mean way or in a way that should actually hurt feelings but help eachother in a tough love sort of way bc chan site culture.

Join me here and give them some damn appreciation you savage speer chucking sausage loving gay ass mongoloid mentally ill basement dwellers (and whoever the hell anon is, fuck him too.) This is Alice's site, show some respect for once in your pleb life.

Thank you Alice and host.

[Misha] ♡♡♡

[Ashley] coolest fucking tulpamancer hands down, no contest

(Beat pic I could find, sorry)

Mostly ghetto ebonics songs, redneck only in america memes and the most cringe homo/woke shit bc America does it best my [N WORD].

Let's begin with a lovely song that is a heartfelt tale of a man and the love he shares with his chums.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1PjGL2qBUEY [Embed]

Feel free to emote. No judging allowed. I have a feeling we're going to need this.

Bigotry and general misanthropy welcome.

Yo, Imma give you my take on the three day workout. This workout is meant to be three successive days, no break. The maximum gain will be a 5-day cycle 3 on, 2 off but at minimum a 7-day cycle. With 4 days off you will still gain up to a plateau, you will be strong, you will look good, but forget getting ultra low-bodyfat or swol proportions on this one. Keep in mind also that it's going to take a lot of time to do it right, if you rush, you'll be lucky to maintain.

Each workout will be at minimum an hour but if you really take your time and add a good hour cardio on the end it can easily reach 3 hours. I will do these Fri-Sat-Sun mornings it's the only time I have and the gym is a little less busy assuming you get in before 5, late-mid morning if you pick a time when it's rushing you're wasting your time, don't bother. Your gym may vary but typically there's a morning crowd and an evening crew and so avoid those times.

It's way better than it was 4 years ago but the crowd is more spread out.

1. I highly recommend 3 sets of 10, it's a good balance and will avoid most injuries. You're stupid to max less than 5 reps and you'll look like a swimmer of you go 15+. You want to look as good as much as you want to be strong so I do at bare minimum 8 for the last set or there's too much weight and if 10 is easy on the last set add more.

2. You gotta stretch for each exercise, if you're going for endurance than no, but that means you like to look like a grey alien. Strech so you don't pull.

3. One minute between sets, there's no rush. Tell those bitches who are pressing you to finish up that 'you're almost done'. Those fuckups want to work in, tell them 'you're almost done' because they'll have a 5 minute workout without stopping right in the middle of your sets. Mother fucking assholes, especially women.

4. If you need a spotter, it's too much weight. You're not going for Mr Olympia and let's face it, you don't have a workout buddy so just be cool and don't push so hard. You're going for 8 reps minimum so you don't need a spotter. Also fuck burpies, dead lifts, squats, and bar bench press, they're killers man and entirely unnecessary. Don't be gay and don't be a spaz.

5. Proper form always even if it means less weight, this will also avoid injuries. Don't go viral on some bitch's insta under the title "bad form loser". They should really outlaw pictures and videos in the gym.

6. This will take a good 6-12 months religiously to go from a zero to a hero. Believe me girls will start coming up to you like you won't believe.

These events take place starting one season prior to your campaign in the winter in Neverwinter Woods. Bear rescues Gwen, single handedly defeating two bandits while Gwen is bound.

After they've rizzed each other up a while Bear decides he should train Gwen in Stealth, he's a custom Ranger heavy Nordic with 1d12, rolled 18 strength boosted it +2 for backstory and human, weilding a heavy maul, but mostly Ranger spec and Gwen is an Avariel Elf with a completely unique class with elements of Bard, Cleric, Druid and Wizard 1d6 magic user type but all her cantrips are illusionist. She's built to scout and escape encounters.

So Bear's teaching her Stealth in the forest and SheShe [DM and playful God] rolls an encounter on them, looks up random 1d100 list and it's goblins arguing about treasure. 1d5+1 rolled 6 goblins. The difficulty is 150 exp which is hard for a couple lvl 1's but Gwen doesn't even have a weapon because she "can't weild steel" so the dagger and short sword they got from the bandit loot weren't useful. She'd be stuck throwing rocks and her wings were trimmed by the babdits to prevent escape. They won't be flight ready for a month at least.

So they roll a 1 on Stealth to escape detection, which is a disaster. Anyway, it's near dusk but the goblins all have dark vision (who doesn't) so since they couldn't escape and furthermore rolled 1 the goblins "heard something". They all roll perception (-1) against Gwen's stealth because you have to roll vs the weakest party members but thankfully Gwen has 18DEX bc her rolls were Cat tier. Only two goblins "see something" and walk toward them.

Next turn, Bear and Gwen try to escape again and barely manage it, two Goblins were striking range (10ft) with initiative but thankfully they escaped, passing two rolls (one for each actively seeking goblin).

It was crazy stressful for Bear thinking he was going to be out in scene 3.

[Ashley] Bear better frigging survive the season, I want to rizz him up too goddamnit.

More tales will follow!

Everything about gardening and growing vegetables and fruit with your tupper, be it in wonderland or IRL