Anonymous
04/16/2024 (Tue) 18:33
[Preview]
No.64309
del
hey Cewl
>>64197>thanks for being understanding id like to hear u extend ur opinions as well cause itd be boring if only i speak and noone contradicts meWell, I pretty much agree on everything here. You made me think about whether I should help more at home, you say men work 40 hrs/week and that's it and leave anything else like taking care of the kids and the house and the food etc. to women effectively babysitting them. Personally I work more than 40 hrs/week and there are days I am really exhausted, you know I used to get up at 5 AM and come back from work at 8 PM.. That's brutal. Now I have a better balance but still I struggle to do much more, so yeah you made me think. For sure I want to be fully there for potential future kids. And now there are things I do outside work that are extremely boring and for which I know I can contribute, like contracts/bills, finance, taxes, planning holidays :)... As I said, communication is key... And never give anything for granted. Long-term relationships need continuous communication and, I wouldn't say "work", but effort, at least energy, to keep everything alive. Tell her you love her. Mean it. Be present, be there for her. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.
>but i dont think in those cases ones was public and the woman never got the credit?.. hm...Yeah that sucks and I am sure there is still sexism, maybe even more at very high levels - I like to believe, as that's my experience, that at least engineering is one of the most meritocratic fields, especially in research environments (when we talk about promotions to upper management in industry for instance I am not that sure, I mean good women definitely have good careers and sometimes it is really undeniable they should be the ones leading but is it always 100% fair and unbiased? Not sure). From studies onwards to academia and industry experiences, I met so many smart people that made me accustomed to realizing there are really no differences and having a preconception on how good one would be at engineering has nothing to do on their gender or how they look.
And still, as I am writing this and "feel good" about how we are less biased than in other fields, I recognize there are still big issues. I remember that we were filing for a grant on a big project and the PI said pretty much out loud we had to include one more woman in the team to have more diversity points but then she would have been immediately replaced after the grant. She was OK with it and well.. nobody said anything really. But it's a symptom of something that doesn't work.
And also, as much as I like to believe I am unbiased, unconscious bias is a thing. I think sometime at how I want to educate and help my future kids growing, and sometimes I think I would like to have a daughter and how cool it would be if she also likes engineering so we can learn and think about problems together, you see I still see it as something "special", and you know it *is* uncommon (hopefully not by the time she's out there in the field!!) so there is that, but I shouldn't see it as anything special based on what I *know* consciously.